The Palm Isle

Czechs Win! I Drink Beer!

2010-05-23T18:01:00.003-04:00

The Czechs have won the World Championship in Ice Hockey. I realize I’m one of probably five Americans who remotely care and about one of twenty North Americans who noticed, but it was damn cool. Other than beer brewing, being stoic and the making the occasional movie, the Czechs honestly don’t get to ‘be good’ at anything. Not only did they win, but they beat just about one of the most formidable offenses the Russians have ever put together and kept them to one goal. The partisan Russian fan will claim a disallowed goal in the first but that was at least two seconds after the whistle. And I think, as a not-so-neutral observer, that beating the Russians is what makes this so notable. If they beat the Finns, sure I might have written a post, but they beat the RUSSIANS! Or as my friend wrote me, “Russian beasts.” It was cool. And I’m listening to a web cam from the center of Prague as I write this. It makes me feel that being drunk alone in my apartment isn’t so bad after all. Anyway, congratulations to the Czechs, Jagr and the Czech nation. You may still get to hear some of the drunk celebration here. The game was outstanding and I recommend reading up on it here. And there’s a great summary of the rivalry here.

I suppose, as much of a downer as this is, that I should mention Scott Gordon's run as coach of the US team. Not a great finish, but not a great team either. Perhaps in a non-Olympic year where the US has something to prove the team may be different but congratulations to coach Gordon all the same. Here's hoping he gets a second chance next year.

International hockey is cool and we Americans should get used to it. Its an international game with a strong international component. Imagine liking Manchester United and not caring about the soccer World Cup... OK, I realize making soccer references probably hurts my point but still if you like good hockey, keep an eye out for the World Championship next May. Until then, Cesky do toho!

Why I Will Never Be a Big-Time Blogger

2010-05-09T19:23:00.007-04:00

First off, let me state that I don't have time to write all of the reasons... Zing!

Second, this post said so many things that I would like to say but don't or can't. Most of you probably read it already, but this is what sports blogging should look like. To me, at least:

From Puck Daddy

Why does the national hockey coverage turn NHL fans into Tea Partiers? Stupid lame-stream, "gotcha!" media with their New York Slimes and Washington comPost. If I had time or imagination I'd do something with ESPN or Sports Illustrated. I leave that for the comments column.

Scattered Thoughts Before Spring

2010-03-03T09:35:00.005-05:00

This idea that our (or my) opinion of the Islanders moves at the deadline is somehow relevant is too much of a stretch for me. Nobody cares if I like the Sutton deal or if I think the team should move Roloson. Even I don't care what I think, if that makes sense. I've got kids to raise, wood to cut, work to do, etc.

And even when I didn't have things to do, there were more important things to sweat, such as "where we going out tonight?", "will it rain or snow for the February garage BBQ?", and "what time should we get there to make sure the goddamn Knicks people, or the college basketball people, don't get the Big TV?"

So as long as the Isles don't trade Okposo or Tavares, or even Comeau, Streit, or (this took me more than a minute to come up with the last name) Hillen, I will keep quiet. Such are the rigors of perspective in my middlin' age.

So what?
Providing the team doesn't drop the remainder of the schedule, and with last night's layup line against Chicago pretty much nixing that possibility, I'm going to be happy. And I think we all should be happy. The Mediocre One and I said early in the season that if this team was a surprise and made the playoffs (and I don't think what they are right now qualifies as a surprise -- maybe a mildly pleasant "oh yeah?", but not a surprise), then next year would probably be a disappointment. We envisioned a ninth-place finish, calls for Gordon's head, etc.

So let's assume we are seers ... coming up a nip short of the playoffs this year wouldn't be so bad.

Do you see? What are we even talking about at this point? Good God. I'm going to stop now.

A Final Thought
That USA/Canada thing was fun. The Mediocre One called me when Parise scored, and for about 20 seconds I was back in college when all the hockey guys, the Chiefs, sat around at the Ithaca Sports Club and watched the games.

Oh... Fucking Canada.

2010-02-28T20:06:00.005-05:00

(to the tune of ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’) Before I begin, let me state that there are no sour grapes to be had here. I tip my cap to the Canadian team. I even stayed for the medal ceremony and anthem.

I should also acknowledge I was drunk and hungry at the bar courtesy of my friends from California Skyping me when I was trying to get ready to head out to the bar. I had to abandon lunch altogether.

Now that my judgment is completely in question, let me say this: I would go to war with this team USA any day. Even when the Isles were pounding out gritty wins earlier this season, they didn’t look like this team. I know games are decided by goals (as the great Ned Braden once pointed out) but you show me any semblance of a modern team with more guts and heart than team USA. You show me a goalie that is more invested in his team. You show me skaters who are willing to hit, get hit, go to the net as well as fore, back and hip check like this team. The US team wasn’t picked to do a damned thing this Olympics but it’s hard to find a silver medal that comes any closer to being gold than the ones they hung on the dejected American team this afternoon. And I’m not disappointed because medals aside, I am much happier being a fan of the blue-collar effort the Americans put on the past two weeks than any other team in the tournament. Not even close. We had the most exciting team in the world hands down. Bring it on, Sochi.

Happy to be there

2010-02-22T20:14:00.011-05:00

By the time I was back in the rocking chair with a beer and watching the replay of the game on Time Warner Sports, I was a little sad.

End of winter? I'll mark that with a smile.

Coming down from the high of screaming along with 21,000+ mostly upstaters as a man parachuted to center ice to the theme from Rocky? Maybe.

But I don't think that's it.

I think I was a little sad because I was tired, and because the AHL's first-ever outdoor game was perfectly emblematic of the AHL I grew up with, perfectly emblematic of the cities that truly speak to the AHL's history, and perfectly emblematic of everything I love about hockey. And some of the things I don't.

It was ugly as piss. And it was everything we could have hoped for.

The New York State Fairgrounds is a gravel-strewn conglomeration of drab, utilitarian buildings bordered on one side by highway ramps, on another side by a nearly depopulated borderline city neighborhood, and marked at the entrance by a sign for Crucible Steel, a historic polluter that destroyed nearby Onondaga Lake.

We walked through and around the whole thing on our way into the game. Snow mounds, slush puddles, broken roads, tailgating fans, beer cans, piles of scrap metal, and finally, the gravel road to the dirt track grandstand.

I live outside of all of this, in a little place called Tully, where the natives have an Ice Harvest Festival and play very well at being the kind of town Garrison Keillor could adopt as his home and exploit for professors and professional students the world over.

But I am from Binghamton, which fittingly provided the opponent for the outdoor game, and which knows ugly and forgotten. Not all of it, of course, just like Syracuse, but enough that if you grow up with your eyes even partially open, you will have an understanding of the most powerful of the community-destroying effects of the global economy.

So that was there. The long dreary moan.

But there was also this.

I'm going to refer to him only as Ray Fucking Maynard, because he provided what has to be the sort-of sporting highlight of the year: Landing his USA parachute at almost-center ice to the partying roar of 21,000+ fall-drown drunks, Camaro-driving white sneaker-wearing AHL lifers, and all in all happy as fuck hockey fans. And he did it to this.

Ray Fucking Maynard.

You can dig around a little for a game recap and other analysis including the passionate booing given to Gov. Paterson, the early rock 'em sock 'em fight between Mirasty and Yablonski, and the "it was so cool" quotes from players.

But here, you get the cheese doodle guy.

And you get us with Bobby Nystrom.

The Rev. on the left, a four-time Cup winner in the middle, and Mr. Bad Example on the right

And you get us standing 10 feet from the boards, taking advantage of a clear lapse of security/planning, smelling skank fucking ass weed and hanging out with the drunkest of the drunk.

It was fun. Kick ass classic rock and canadian beer fun. There have been a few complaints (very few) about the drunks (we didn't see any fights and everyone actually seemed as jovial as could be considering some of them had been tailgating since the wee hours) and the parking (it was shitty, but so what? We walked a little, it kept us warm), but overall the reception has been glowing and grand. As it should be.

It's already taken on a sort of "you were there?" quality, not surprising because things like this don't happen often enough up here (Syracuse hoops doesn't count, mostly because, well, it's basketball). And I'm happy I was there.

I'm happy I can tell people about walking through the dirt track tunnels on the way back to the car, watching drunks and not-so-drunks falling on a sheet of uneven ice in the dark and then climbing up stepped-on, uneven mounds of snow to get out of the tunnel.

I'm happy I was there when a "security" person told the crowd we were standing with to "get off the platform," to which one reveler said "no comprende," and the security guy, who looked like an extra from Fargo, proceeded to re-deliver his instructions in four languages. Here in Internet land I believe we say "win."

I'm happy I was there to see it. I saw a few people I knew from high school. I saw a few people on the verge of hypothermia. I saw Bobby Nystrom. I saw the best fight I've ever seen. I saw a big ass hockey party bringing some happiness to the middle of February in one of the most depressing physical settings on the non-warring, non-Third World earth.

I'm glad I saw it all. And now I think I'm ready for spring.

The Great Outdoors

2010-02-22T19:39:00.002-05:00

It takes a special kind of person to want to spend a winter afternoon in central New York watching a minor-league hockey game at a state fairgrounds. Lucky for you, the Reverend Zamboni and Mr. Bad Example are special kinds of people. And, so, here are some of the sights and, as a special bonus to you, Faithful Reader (and we use that not as an all-encompassing term, but as an actual description of the one person still likely reading this blog), some words to describe the sights of the Mirabito AHL Outdoor Classic between the Syracuse Crunch and the Binghamton Senators.

After an attempt to sidestep the lines for parking, a subsequent detour through scenic Solvay, NY, and our eventual decamping in a less busy though significantly less close parking lot on the New York State Fairgrounds, we headed into the game around noon, picking up our complimentary Outdoor Classic towels as we entered. We soon checked out our seats for the day.

Not too shabby for $30. For $30, I imagine I could have sat on the sidewalk at the House of Blues and listened to the NHL Winter Classic at Fenway, so this wasn't bad at all. We hung around the seats long enough to throw a blanket down and then went to soak in some atmosphere on the ground level. Soon after we got down there, the glass behind the goal shattered during warmups.

It didn't look like anyone got a glass shower, but there was no time to confirm, because I needed my picture on the Ice Throne. So I, a 33-year-old man, queued up behind a group of children to ascend the Ice Throne. They could've sped things up, but I think it was worth the wait.

After our Star Time with Bobby Nystrom, we were turned away from cutting through the VIP area to get to the other end of the ice (where the hot tub was...no kidding), so we headed back to our seats. The start of the game was delayed a bit as they replaced the glass, but soon the pomp and circumstance began. Special guests (including Nystrom and former Sabres Danny Gare and Rob Ray) were introduced and then the mike was handed to Governor David Paterson who, judging by the crowd reaction, might want to rethink his upcoming gubernatorial campaign. I have heard politicians booed before, but, good lord, never with such passion. He aint my governor (we've got our own problems in Jersey), but based on the interview I saw on the game telecast later that night, in which he said he grew up watching the Islanders win the cups and, then, "nothing much has happened there since" (or something like that), I'll boo him the next time I see him, too.

Once the puck was dropped, we realized that it was a bit of a struggle to see the ice, particularly on the near-side boards. So we looked around for better vantage points. Then we were interrupted by this:

Even the linesman loved it.

At the first TV timeout (and after Alexandre Picard's goal for the Crunch), we moved to the general admission bleachers, which were a potential-lawsuit-safe distance away from the ice, which meant they were practically in Auburn (shoutout to Prison City). But at least we could see more of the ice now. Of course, it's hard to focus on the game when the guy in front of you is wearing a hat and jacket covered with Cheez Doodles. You will only find that sort of lunatic at an outdoor game in central New York, where the people are a special kind of crazy that is rarely seen in the rest of the human race.

Since we were pretty far away from the ice, I went on a reconnaissance mission to see what the situation by the boards was. As near as we could figure, no one anticipated that, if you left the area around the boards unimpeded by any sort of barricade, people would just park themselves right on the glass to watch the game. But they did. And so we did for the entire second and third period.

Despite the brisk winds, most of the crowd stayed until the bitter end, watching the hometown Crunch take a 2-1 victory. They were rewarded by being given the opportunity (or perhaps just taking the opportunity) to walk out with boxes of the giveaway Dunkin' Donuts plastic cups as they headed back to their cars. The final entertainment of the day was the Great Slip and Fall that took place in the tunnel that was on the way to the parking lot. We saw about five people go down hard (and a bunch more come close) amid a constant chorus of "Whoa!"s from the drunken hockey lovers of central New York. I probably would've paid $30 just to watch that. (So you don't think I'm completely heartless, everyone that hit the ground--including the guy behind us who turfed out with a sickening thud--bounced right back up. Here's to the resilience of the hockey fan! And the numbing effects of alcohol!)

So, for $30 plus fees, we got to hang with Bobby Nystrom for a few minutes, see a skydiver brave the Syracuse winds to drop onto the rink, watch two-thirds of a pretty competitive AHL game about ten feet from the ice, see an awesome hockey fight, and watch drunk people fall down. Plus my body didn't start shaking involuntarily from the cold at any point (that Inauguration 2008 training came in handy).

A pretty damn good day. And another reason why hockey (and the AHL) kicks ass.

Hold on, we're comin'

2010-02-22T08:34:00.004-05:00

We've got jobs and things to do (and I had to go to a Sam Moore concert last night), but one or both of us will get something extensive up about the Outdoor Classic by Tuesday. A brief summary to whet the appetite:

*It was cold.

*We got our picture taken with Bobby Nystrom.

*We watched most of the game standing about 10 feet away from the glass.

*We watched some of the game behind a guy wearing a hat and jacket covered artistically with Cheez Doodles.

*People really don't like Governor David Paterson.

More to follow...

Let it snow...

2010-02-19T17:48:00.003-05:00

Come and shake the hands of two actual Palm Isle bloggers at tomorrow's AHL Outdoor Classic at the New York State Fairgrounds in Syracuse. Of course, our hands may be frozen solid, but we'll try nodding our heads in your general direction. We'll be in Grandstand 4, Row RR, or maybe taking a dip in the hot tub with Bob Nystrom and Rob Ray.

Full report sometime soon after the game. Or at least soon-ish.

Where were we?

2010-02-10T13:18:00.007-05:00

When last we were into this thing, we were all hopeful for the future but realistic that the future wasn't quite here yet. So, after some good runs during the season, we're kind of in the same place, no?

Good. Now that we've agreed on that, let's not dwell on our negligence in posting anymore.

Instead, let's turn our attention to one of the joys of being an Islanders fan--namely, that, less than a week before a game you've been thinking about going to since the schedule came out, you can buy a ticket for a center-ice seat seven rows off the ice for $39.35, even with Ticketmaster fees. And that's how I got to the Nassau Coliseum last night to see the Islanders take on the Nashville Predators (my Western Conference team of choice).

After the first period, I was beginning to rethink the trip from Jersey. It was a period typical of the Isles of late: lackadaisical skating, defensive breakdowns, and an infuriatingly bad power play. Amazingly, though, I only cursed out loud once. I would've apologized to the children in the general area, but if their parents are taking them to a game where Bruno Gervais is on the ice, I'm assuming they know what they're getting into.

The second period was a good deal better, starting after a strong shift from Frans Nielsen and Kyle Okposo that gave way to a goal on the next shift from, wow, Freddy Meyer. Seeing Freddy Meyer score a goal was proof enough that the night was worth the trip, but then, after two goals from the Predators, the truly incredible happened: Bruno Gervais scored a goal. On the power play (granted, a 5-on-3, but any goal on the power play is something of a miracle). Someday I will tell my grandkids (or, more likely, someone else's grandkids) that I once went to a game where Freddy Meyer and Bruno Gervais scored a goal, and they will look at me like I'm crazy and say, "Sure, old man." But I've got the ticket stub (and it's signed by Butch Goring).

Steve Sullivan's power-play goal in the third seemed like an inevitability, so I took it in stride. And as the clock ticked down, I mentally prepared myself for the long train ride home, where I could at least take comfort in the fact that my Western Conference team had picked up two needed points. But with Marty Biron pulled, the Isles started hustling and digging for pucks and then Mark Streit tied it up (sure, I would have liked to see a forward score, but you can't have it all) with 12 seconds left, and it was high-fives all around.

Overtime was pretty entertaining, and the Isles had some good chances. But it was on to the Frans Nielsen showcase that is the shootout. And Nielsen would've had the winner if Biron hadn't decided to try for his best Wade Dubielewicz impression and failed miserably. Luckily, John Tavares saved the day, and the intimate gathering of friends at the Coliseum headed out into the not-snowy-yet night happy.

I was in between trains, so I went down to the lower level of the Coliseum to see if there was any postgame stuff being filmed. Sure enough, about a dozen diehards were staring at Deb (Kaufman) Placey and Butch Goring as they did their postgame thing. So I hung around and got Mr. Goring to sign my ticket stub. I couldn't pull my act together fast enough to get a picture with him, so that dream will have to be fulfilled some other time.

So, to recap: I saw the Islanders win, bringing me to 3-0 on the season in my in-person Islanders experiences; my second-favorite team picked up a point and stayed in playoff position; I got Butch Goring's autograph; and, to cap it all off, it's a snow day for me today, so the late-night return to Jersey City was no big deal. Who says there's no such thing as a happy Islanders fan?

Wanted: video of Torts vs. Montreal visiting team locker room whiteboard

2010-01-24T12:51:00.008-05:00

Just read this beauty on TSN about the latest Ranger debacle:

"If Tortorella was trying to hide his frustration, it was clearly evident in the Rangers dressing room. The white board used to write down the Canadiens line combinations appeared to take the brunt of the anger, sitting on the floor with three, stick-shaped cracks in it."

It appears that the Rangers could use some scoring. Wonder where Jagr is these days?

Video I found on Puck Daddy. Keep an eye out for 68:

Talk about a fall from grace. Looks like the friggin' Thunderdome. I feel like Tina Turner is about to come out and lead a "Two men enter, one man leaves!" chant.

Delighting in Ranger misery when most things seem to be going well for the Islanders is probably bad karma--although I don't believe in those things--so I should stop. If Brooksie can restrain himself...

Tales from the Bus Stop

2010-01-22T18:12:00.002-05:00

If the NHL doesn't have a season of the new reality show "Torts and Brooksie" in pre-production, they're making yet another mistake.

More Islanders-related stuff soon. Unless these exchanges continue, in which case we'll be changing this blog to be all Torts and Brooksie, all the time.

Breaking the Silence

2010-01-21T22:08:00.005-05:00

I thought this was worth it. Avery finally decides to fight Hartnell WITHOUT jumping him from behind. This was awesome. Short, but sweet.

Oh, and the Isles won. Was a good night.

I don't know what happened to the other bums that write for this blog but they'll be back. I think.

A sign of things to come.

2009-10-10T17:18:00.003-04:00

“Anyone who needs to drink more than 24 cans of beer in a day to have a good time is not welcome."

Now, I am skipping over any coverage of opening night because I can't tell you anything you didn't know. Guess what--the Rook scored. Two points on the night. The Isles lost.

I had a ride to the game, but because I don't feel like spending the night on a piss line, I tried not to drink too much. But it's damn good to know that I could have drank my penis off if I'd wanted to. But from the land of intoxication comes a story of men having their beer curtailed. A cautionary tale from Australia:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24307527-26103,00.html

Near Eve

2009-09-29T16:28:00.008-04:00

I used to spend more time with the hockey video games, playing at least three or four complete seasons each year in college, editing every single player in the revelatory NHL 2k3, and conducting weekend "legends" tournaments alongside my regular season in ESPN NHL Hockey.

EA's NHL 10 is the best, by far, of all of the hockey games I've ever played, and I've barely made it past the second period of about 12 games so far. Such is the world of parenthood.

Thanks to the Internet, and some finely honed Geeking skills, I've popped in some pretty good sliders, found the "ultimate" rosters (although ultimate sometimes means John Tavares is centering the Isles' first line), and enjoyed what I can to this point. This afternoon, with the day off from work and the boys sleeping, I managed a 0-0 draw through 37 minutes with the Oilers, only to have a wrist shot hop over Rick D's (I'll probably do the properly sim/dork thing and start Biron to start my "season") shoulder at the exact moment a bedroom door opened and "good morning!" echoed through the house.

Tonight, I will get the bastards back, at least for a period or so ... .

As realistically non-realistic as NHL 10 is, it can't really tell us anything about the state of the Islanders, although my lack of finish on the sticks draws an eerie parallel to the boys in royal blue (I never, never use the "new" jerseys, always sticking with the soon-to-be mainstream alternate). Still, it's fun to think my trance-like repose in front of the sorely out-of-date SDTV might give us some glimpse into the coming season.

A few things I've noticed.

1. The Isles can skate with just about any team, but not Evgeni Malkin.

2. No Finnish. Even the probably-overrated-estimated-we-just-don't-know Tavares CAP can't bury anything but wide-open chances. Thankfully there's Mark Streit and a generous deflection engine.

3. We're going to lose every single fight this season. Or, I need to practice this new fighting system, which makes no sense to me right now.

4. The Ramones will bring the Isles out onto the ice at the newly named "Long Island Arena" every home game. Or not. (wishful thinking)

5. We. will. get. Dion. Phaneuf.

Saturday Night

Because sometimes the stars align even for one of the world's least-connected people, me, the Mediocre One and I have managed to get ahold of some veddy goot tickets for the home opener. No liveblogging, but I will get back on Sunday with the full report.

I haven't been this excited for a hockey game since I went to a bar in Ithaca to watch game five of the 2002 playoffs against the Leafs. I spent the whole night standing under a tiny television, crowding a table full of college students watching basketball on the "big" TV, clutching a series of beers, and yelling at some poor college kid who had the nerve to come down from Cornell to watch the game alone and root for the Leafs in my presence on that fateful, stupid night.

I'm pretty sure I told him he had "personally disgusted me and ruined hockey for at least five years in one fell swoop with his sickening display of ignorance, cockiness, and stupidity." And I'm pretty sure that was in reaction to one muted fist pump when the game finally ended. And then he ran out and my friends roped me into playing pool while I bitched and challenged them to "man up!" and play bubble hockey.

Beetches.

Here's the songs my kids demand to hear when the snow starts to fall.

See you Saturday.

Mark Streit: not Dion Phaneuf

2009-09-25T15:08:00.001-04:00

Jaffe doesn't like it. But he didn't skate away like little Celine either. (see what I did there?)

Hey, we have a blog

2009-09-18T12:33:00.004-04:00

First, good to have hockey back. I spent an hour yesterday watching fights, reading about NHL 10, and looking for Google images of the Broome Dusters.

We're off to a quick start
"Keep your head up, or something," said the hockey fan. We hear that 15 to 20 times a year now, as we sort through the wreckage of another hit to the head. Dion Phaneuf hit Kyle Oh!poso last night, in a game you likely didn't see, but have been reading about all day if you're sick like me and not doing a shit's bit worth of work. Puck Daddy is dissecting.

I'm going to ignore most of the central debates because they've been covered pretty well by Puck Daddy, by the more lucid reader's comments, and by other voices in the web-o-sphere. That said, I think it was a legal hit of a defenseless player, and it should have been answered with a crosscheck to Phaneuf's forehead.

Phaneuf is garbage, but some Isles fans are delusional
Chris Pronger does this shit. Phaneuf does this shit routinely. Lesser names do the same shit hoping they'll get paid the same as Phaneuf or Pronger. It is part of the game.

But so is this: fighting.

Phaneuf is garbage for backing out of the fight with Morency. He's not dumb, he's just garbage. And if you've already written somewhere on the web that you think it's shit when a "clean hit" is answered with a fight, you're garbage too.

When the fuck should players fight? Because "when you're angry because someone just laid out a teammate" seems like a pretty fucking good time to fight to me. I think it's a lot better time than "when you're bored" or "when your team is losing and you haven't played in 22 minutes." Blatant cheap shots and borderline massive hits that leave people semi-conscious or knocked out cold (which usually look like cheap shots in the heat of the moment) are, I would think, the most ideal times of all to drop the gloves. So kudos to Morency, and fuck you, Phaneuf.

I'm going to jerk off to Elisha Cuthbert tonight. And that's the crudest thing I can think of right now. I need some coffee.

Isles fans: stop
"I'm growing to hate Scott Gordon and Garth Snow for not having a goon. This would have never happened with Cairns on the ice!!!!"

What?

Dion Phaneuf is 6'3", 214 lbs. He hits the shit out of people, albeit sometimes when they're being checked by two of his teammates, one of whom already crosschecked him from behind. And sometimes he even fights. He gets paid millions of dollars to do this.

Do you really, really think having Don Brashear on the bench would have stopped Phaneuf from blindsiding Oh!poso? Motherfucker wouldn't even fight Morency, who (ok, he's a bit of hopeful fighter, but still) checks in at 5'10", 196 lbs. And he didn't have to. Brashear comes over the boards and Phaneuf would skate until the ice melted.

This team needs to get good at hockey. They will do this by bringing in good players. If those good players exhibit some toughness, that's wonderful. And they are auditioning some middle/upper-middle weights.

You don't need a full-fledged heavyweight in the NHL. Most of the guys taking cheap shots at your best players are shitheads like Phaneuf, or other middleweights who a) get some ice time, or b) think they're "pests." Pests run away from heavyweights. You keep a couple of mid-level guys around to punch Sean Avery and, I think, that's enough.

Anyway, welcome back hockey.

Here's to hoping Kyle O is 100 percent. Go Isles.

Already?

2009-06-29T22:48:00.007-04:00

Didn’t take long for the New York sports writers to jump on the Tavares train… And run it off the rails. And it wasn’t just Tavares, they went after the second pick also. Here’s some recent headlines:

“Fans, Keep the Tavares Expectations Realistic”

"Analysis: Will Isles' decision not to add Kassian backfire?"

“Michael Jackson: The Wounds, The Broken Heart”

These were all from Newsday, by the way. Even the Post didn’t take any shots at the Islanders.

The top headline includes a list of players that Tavares definitely will not and probably won’t be as good as. This includes Crosby, Ovechkin and Malkin. Fine, I can deal with that, but the list goes on to include Zigmund Palffy and Steven Stamkos. I’m not saying that JT is going to be the second coming but let’s not kill the poor kids before the week is out. And other than the top three picks, it’s a crap shoot. I did some looking back at previous draft years and even the 1st round is a “Who? WHO?” list of also-rans.

Arthur Staple goes on to say that the Islanders "didn't have a clear-cut star to take at the top of the draft." Having the top Canadian junior league change the rules because of you and then to turn around and smash "The Great One's" junior scoring record counts as being a star, just so we're all clear.

Garth seems to have made some smart decisions that I can definitely live with as much as at the time I may not have been impressed (Bailey, Streit). So I’m going to put aside my negativity until it's proven that the Islanders made some bad mistakes.

And as for Tavares’ future—what the hell do I know about scouting? I'm just looking at the numbers and going with what everyone has said about the kid. And I haven't seen a reason to go negative yet.

Thanks to tomcuthbert.wordpress.com for the picture.

Happy Days Are Here Again

2009-06-27T02:57:00.007-04:00

And breathe out...

The Mediocre One and I arrived at the Coliseum around 6, with the hazy sun beating down. After we were inside for about a half-hour, we stepped out to the concourse and saw this:

Not a good sign. My stomach started to churn a little more.

There were lots of people milling around the Coliseum floor, so we didn't stay there too long. We had some brief thoughts of buying some cheap merch (until I realized the line was way too long to wait on, especially for a Shawn Bates nameplate and a Dave Scatchard shirt) and taking a locker room tour (until, again, it was hard to justify waiting in a line that long just to gaze upon Tim Jackman and Dean Chynoweth, especially since I'd seen the locker room during last year's draft party debacle, where there were no lines at all). Instead, the Mediocre One grabbed a beer and I took some atmospheric photos.

Nice touch, putting the organ on the floor:

Here's Disco Chris King:

And, for Howie, a nice posed photo of Billy Jaffe:

Mike Bossy in the house:

There were plenty of jersey fouls to be seen:

And the relaying of word from Washington:

Then, we sat down and prepared for whatever the hell was coming. TMO called up Rev. Zamboni, who relayed the information that Colorado seemed convinced the Isles would take Duchene. This did not bode well for our safety, as every time Duchene appeared on the big screen, boos rained down (Hedman got his fair share too, but he at least seemed to have some supporters). We made note of the nearest exit.

As 7:00 drew nearer, I began to develop that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach prior to almost every Islanders-Rangers game. It is the feeling that something completely horrible is reasonably certain to happen, and when it does, there will be endless rounds of mockery that follow. TMO stated that he was feeling a bit uneasy, too.

After Bettman's standard long-winded introduction, it was go time. With TMO keeping the Rev informed over the phone, I was in charge of capturing the moment of euphoria/dismantling of the Nassau Coliseum. And it was exactly like this (sorry for the bad sound, but I think I captured the spirit of the thing):

And all was right with the world.

We stuck around to see if the Tavares interview was forthcoming, but I had a train to catch (thanks for the lift, TMO), so we bolted. I shared the good news with the LIRR ticket taker on the Hempstead train, and then another ticket taker broke the news that the Isles had traded up, which didn't surprise me. By the time I made it to Connolly's in NYC to see my friend's band (10 minutes to spare), the Isles had traded up again and selected a guy I'd never heard of (though, based on my knowledge of college and junior hockey, that's not such an amazing feat). I still don't know much about Calvin de Haan, or why the Isles were so high on him that they were willing to let so many picks go, but I'm not gonna think too much about it.

Why? Because for one night, things went as they should for the New York Islanders. Ten thousand Islander fans (their estimate...I'd place it a little lower) celebrated a happy occasion (I'd think even the Hedman supporters--and the Duchene backers, assuming there were some--were somewhat happy). People who'd been waiting for a reason to erupt finally got it.

And that's enough for today.

We Live In Hope

2009-06-25T09:05:00.001-04:00

We hope that our team doesn't move to Kansas City.

We hope that Rick DiPietro plays a full season someday.

We hope that Kyle Okposo and Josh Bailey turn out to be superstars, or at least not Dave Chyzowski and Brett Lindros.

We hope that Alexei Yashin is sorry for what he did (or, rather, didn't do).

We hope that we can one day hold our heads up high and not be the punchline to every joke.

And we hope that when all the clouds of secrecy disappear, Garth Snow and the Islanders step up to the podium and pick John Tavares tomorrow night. Not necessarily because he's the best player (though he probably is). Not because Victor Hedman and Matt Duchene are much more inferior players (by all accounts, they're probably not). But because it is what must be done.

If the scouts are to be believed, Hedman and Duchene will both have long, successful careers in the NHL. And I wish them the best (unless they find themselves on the Rangers at some point in their careers). But, for the Islanders, and the fans who will gather at the draft party Friday night (you can say the draft party has no impact on the decision the Isles make, Garth, but you'll be whistling a different tune when the fans start beating Sparky the Dragon with sticks), the choice has to be Tavares. It is the safe choice. It is the best choice. It is the right choice.

Please, Garth, please.

The Palm Isle will have representatives at the draft party. I'll be there until right after the pick is made, at which point I have to dart to the train to get back to the city to see my friends' band play (bros before Snow, that's how I roll), but I believe The Mediocre One will be staying a bit longer. In any event, one or both of us should have a recap up over the weekend.

[ADDENDUM: I do not speak for our most celebrated Palm Isle denizen, The Rev. Zamboni, who has declared himself a Hedman supporter. Of course, he will not be in the Nassau Coliseum at 7:15 Friday night, so his declaration is understandable. I just want to live to see 33.]

A Brush with Fame

2009-06-15T22:33:00.003-04:00

To all our loyal readers, you probably saw my twitter experiment. I'm a very lonely person. None the less, about a day after signing up for the account, none other than the New York Islanders twitter account was following me! (To the uninitiated, this was the cyber version of the Islanders picking me up at the airport or helping me move into a new place) All I could figure out is that someone from the Islanders organization actually takes this blog seriously enough to check up on regularly. Well, to make a long story short, they quickly stopped following me and I am now being followed by Ranger scum, "Uncle Greaseball." Play me off, kitty...

The Mediocre One Sells Out

2009-06-12T20:10:00.003-04:00

Follow me on twitter for game seven: https://twitter.com/Themediocreone

I'm guessing I get bored at about 10 minutes of the first, but what the hell.

I Hope You're All Happy

2009-05-03T09:47:00.006-04:00

You've pissed off Charles Wang. Great. I guess there's a bureaucracy to building a new city. And now he's turning into the corporate, team owner version of The Hulk.

It doesn't look good for the Lighthouse. I am disappointed in the failure of the project. I know other Islander fans are upset mainly because the team might move. And I think that's the biggest point. It's about the team. If you can find widespread disappointment that the project is getting flushed unrelated to the team then I'd more surprised than a Caps fan sitting behind John Tortorella. But threatening to move a beloved team just because the town didn't move quickly on your proposal seems like a heavy price to pay. But it looks that way so TAKE THAT, LONG ISLANDERS for being too narrow minded to understand Wangs proposal.

But seriously, how many times have you been sitting around with people talking about how fast a construction project was moving along? Or how fast the government approves things? Maybe Wang has to take a couple more trips to the DMV or talk to someone who's waiting for their tax return. I know the guy has lost a ton of dough and I do feel for him, but the team just finished last in the NHL and has been pretty miserable for a long time. Maybe that has something to do with the losing money thing? A couple more years and you won't be able to get a ticket for a game on Saturday night. Mr. Wang, if you somehow get drunk and mistakenly find this site let me just ask you for two more years before you decide to move the team. Two years from now they're going to be solid. Real solid. The draft picks will be mature and the team will be supported by the 1.3 million people in Nassau County as opposed to the 475,000 people in Kansas City.

Well, here's still hoping for the arena of the future.

Gloating Is So Immature and Unbecoming...

2009-04-28T23:26:00.005-04:00

...but, ultimately, a lot of fun. So, cue the chicken:

.

Welcome to the off-season, Rangers. Come join us on the golf course (please tell Mr. Tortorella to stay home, because there might be taunting, and, truth be told, we don't trust him with a golf club).

So far, everything's come up roses for the Isles since the season ended: they won the lottery; the Pens won, so they get a better draft pick; the Sharks lost, so their late-first rounder is as high as could've been expected; and both local teams lost crushing Game 7s, with the Rangers' collapse one for the ages.

Huzzah!

Making the Rounds UPDATED

2009-04-28T02:05:00.008-04:00

The Rangers have found their way into the NY media. And that's no small feat considering both the Mets and Yankees stink and there was a big story for the Jets coming out of the NFL draft. Big-time Ranger fan Boomer Esiason with partner Craig Carton of WFAN talk about the Rangers and Glen Sather's letter. Take a listen

Update 4/28: All attempts to link to the clip have failed. If you want a listen, go to the WFAN home page (www.wfan.com) and navigate to the Carton and Boomer page. Listen to "Blueshirt Cry Babies"

While you're listening to audio clips, check out this beauty between Torts and Brooks.

And if you're still around, here's an interview with everyone's favorite undershirt wearing Caps fan.

A Dear Gary Letter

2009-04-27T07:33:00.006-04:00

I missed this, but apparently Glen Sather wrote a letter to the league which actually includes this sentence regarding the Game 5 situation with the fans: "According to Rangers trainer Jim Ramsay, one patron was screaming at the team, in graphic language, about whether Dan Girardi and Marc Staal have a sexual relationship. "

No matter who wins Game 7, that's gold.

Jackpot!

2009-04-26T00:30:00.009-04:00

Game 5 was nothing short of a godsend. Perhaps you all saw the game, but I have to preserve some of these moments all in one place.

First off, having Ranger favorite and chief punk Sean Avery benched was great news. Already things were looking up.

Early in the 1st, some guy named Bradley scores a shortie after some sloppy blue line and neutral zone play by the Rags.

Next we had a really weak goal let in by "the King."

But things were just getting started...

"Ohh! Ohh! Vechkin!"

"The King" abdicated for the third period. That's when I thought it couldn't get any better. I was wrong.

And now Torts gets suspended. Here's a great point made by Puck Daddy.

It's never felt so good to hate the Rangers.

And as long as I'm assembling a short history of game 5, here's some tweets from everyone's favorite spaghetti-bending Ranger fan:

"Did Tom Renney sneak into the Verizon Center wearing a Torts suit tonight? Shorty & a too many men penalty? Not a good sign..."

"Holy crap. Matt Bradley WTF? #Rangers"

Anyway, Jim Schonfield will be behind the bench for the Rangers. Lord nothing interesting could come of that... Oh, hell. Here it is for old time's sake:

Help us out

2009-04-25T23:00:00.005-04:00

The Islanders finished last in the league, the Sound Tigers got bounced in the first round of the AHL playoffs, and the Rangers are one win away from making it to the second round of the NHL playoffs. Things are grim in Islanders Country.

So, please, please let's take the announcer's advice in the clip below and let John Tortorella fight the "overserved" (and overfed...as seen in the second clip) gentleman in the white T-shirt. Because, win or lose, that would be one entertaining fight.

If that guy's not available, I'll also watch a fight between Tortorella and the guy with the mohawk.

Thank you for your consideration.

(h/t to Puck Daddy)

The Rewards of Fandom

2009-04-19T15:47:00.004-04:00

Though I stand by my statement that this past season (and it is exciting to refer to it as past) was not nearly the worst I've experienced as an Islanders fan, I would be foolish to admit that it wasn't a tough one. It's not exciting to see the team you like finish dead last, and to have to hear the subsequent derisive (I'm using big words so the Rangers fans don't read this) comments from fans of teams who are in the playoffs. It's not easy to sit through a season of trash talking when you don't really have a great comeback. It's not fun to receive an e-mail from Ticketmaster breathlessly urging you to "Score great Playoffs seats & cheer your team to the Stanley Cup,' which I received on Friday.

But if you can make it through all that and still stick around, you will be rewarded. I know this now, because I got my reward Friday night, when The Mediocre One and I attended game 1 of the Bridgeport Sound Tigers-Wilkes-Barre/Scranton AHL playoff series at the Nassau Coliseum (lovingly described by a drunken fan wearing a Mick Vukota jersey at the last Islanders game we went to as "like a Kiss concert in 1978").

We got to the game a little late and missed the first goal, but luckily our arrival to our third-row corner seats ($19 each!) didn't disturb anyone. This was mainly because there weren't that many people to disturb and the people behind us were the most annoying bunch of children I've ever sat near at a hockey game. Toward the end of the game, one of them revealed himself as a Rangers fan and started debating that the Rangers' legacy was more storied than the Islanders and, for a second there, it seemed like the man in the front row was going to lose it. But he kept himself in check, though he was probably tired from yelling at the guy in the Gretzky Rangers hat, who, incongruously, seemed to be a Sound Tigers---or at least a Pascal Morency--fan. That man also withstood a confrontation with Sparky.

Another top-notch fan in our section was right up against the glass. And, at several points during the game, particularly in the pre-period skates, also up against the glass was his Yankees hat. For reasons neither TMO nor I could figure out, he would press his Yankees hat against the glass, bang on the glass, and try to get players to respond. The Mediocre One first saw this behavior while I was walking on the concourse prior to the second period (and what a walk it was...just wait). He said Jon Sim was the recipient of the Yankee Treatment, and it was one of the more confusing things he's ever seen. It sounded odd to me, but the true oddness of it didn't settle in until I saw it for myself prior to the third period. The Yankees fan got a couple of guys to look over and then hit paydirt when Penguin Paul Bissonette skated by, took a look at the hat, and then seemed to get angrier as he skated away. And by the time he was on the other side of the ice, he was yelling at the Yankees fan and was visibly upset. You probably had to be there, but it was one of the funnier (and odder) things I've seen at a hockey game.

But let's get back to my reward. No, it wasn't a Sound Tiger victory (they lost 3-2 and, in fact, lost Game 2 as well and now head to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton tonight down 2-0). No, it wasn't hearing the "Sound Tiger Rowwwwwwwrrrrrrr" that is heard in Bridgeport when a Sound Tiger scores (they foolishly didn't bring that sound effect to Long Island). No, it wasn't seeing Kyle Okposo skate up close and see how strong he is on his skates (he dragged a guy almost all the way down the boards after he was checked in the offensive zone). No, my reward came as I was heading back to my seat as the second period began. The Mediocre One had decided to stay in his seat, so I was alone when I came around a bend and spotted The Man.

Yessir, last Friday night, I met Mitch Fritz.

He was taking pictures with kids as I came near (the above GQ photo was snapped after one of the kid photos, as I tried to control my excitement), and I debated just how embarrassing it would be to grab a total stranger on the concourse and ask that person to take a picture of me and Mr. Fritz. Then I realized that I had just essentially had him pose for a picture on the concourse, so how much more embarrassing could a picture with him possibly be? So I headed to what I think was a father and son, and the son obliged (I'm not sure they even knew who the other guy was, as hard as that may be to believe). After the photo, I managed to sputter out something that went like this:

Me: Man, you're, like, a hero, on our blog.

Mr. Mitch Fritz: What's that?

Me: My friends and I have a blog called the Palm Isle. It's a "Slap Shot" reference.

Mr. Mitch Fritz: Oh, cool.

Me: Yeah, and at the beginning of the season, I decided that you had the perfect chantable name.

Mr. Mitch Fritz: Yeah, I've heard that.

Me: All right, cool. Thanks. I hope you're back next year.

Mr. Mitch Fritz: Yeah, me too.

While I hope the Sound Tigers rebound and I get a chance to see them play again this year, if Friday night was the last hockey game I see this season, at least it ended on a high note.

Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!)

You know what?

2009-04-16T13:30:00.005-04:00

Fuck all of them.

Fuck Brian Burke and every Toronto fan who thinks it's such a crying shame that Looonnnnggg Isssllaaannddd, and not their pathetic fucking franchise, gets to draft a real hockey player. Fuck you. Fuck you all. This is how it works. Just like you got Luke Schenn, we get Tavares.

Fuck the Canadian media. Not all of you, but the ones who think Long Island hockey fans are somehow worthless compared to the exalted hockey fans of Toronto/Canada. Fuck you.

I will repeat: It is as easy to be a hockey fan in Canada as it is to be a baseball/football fan in America. It takes zero effort. Zero. Zero. Fashionable, trend-seeking, cock-chasing chump fucks watch hockey in Toronto because it is the thing to do, just like every asshole with a TV in America thinks he's a die-hard NFL fan. Go fuck: you arrogant, over-concussed assholes.

Tavares is coming to Long Island. The Islanders are going to be good. And you're going to fucking hate it.

Fuck you.

I posted this on a message board earlier today after being told the Islanders didn't deserve Tavares because the team doesn't have loyal fans:

"Loyal fan base = too stupid to realize there is more to life than spending money to watch a bad hockey team. See: Maple Leafs

It's that kind of newly prevalent mentality -- you've got to fill up the arena every night or you're not loyal -- that makes me want to largely ignore sports all together. I don't want to live hockey (or football/basketball/baseball), I want to watch it. And I watch the Isles when they're awful, as well as when they're decent, even when the owner is making mistakes trying to make the team better, the building better, and gasp! make some money. And sometimes I don't, because I'm busy. Can I still come back?

You buy a hat, check the message boards, watch the TV, go to a game or two every year -- you're loyal. And if you're not loyal, I applaud you. I applaud Long Island fans for filling the building when the team is good, and keeping it under capacity when it sucks. You speak with your wallet and your time. And when you wanna go, you're still welcome in the rink as far as I'm concerned.

There will be plenty of people there to see Tavares. And Charles Wang will build his crazy-ass mini-city (which a voting majority of Long Islanders seem to support -- holding them hostage? huh? the county supports it. the voters support it. do a quick google search on Kate Murray/Lighthouse, she recently floated the idea of federal stimulus funds being used to rebuild the Coliseum -- she's a little loopy).

Anyway, I'm wandering off-topic. Isles fans are good hockey fans. There isn't a lot of them (us), but they do support the team, go to games when they can, buy jerseys, hats, hate the Rangers, etc. And they're (we're) excited to get Tavares. Let us have that for a few days."

Preseason is over: Thoughts on the upcoming Season

2009-04-13T20:54:00.003-04:00

Next year it begins in earnest. For realsy.

Here are the things I'm looking out for in the 09-10 season. First, the health of the team. I think the Isles had a few things going against them this year. Some of the usual suspects got injured for stretches (DiPietro, Martinek). They also had some bad luck with timing and I don't think they were rushing people back into the lineup. We'll see how these guys can turn the injury trend around next season.

Second, I'm sure they're going to take things a little more seriously. If Tampa Bay had their best defensive defenseman taking overtime shootouts, I would be sceaming. I know this was a fun season and they were trying some odd things out, but Witt on the penalty shot seemed like a bit much. Situations like that will be different next season which should add some more points to the total by the end of the season.

Third, nothing crashes quite as hard as expectations for sports teams in the NY area. Unless you're the friggin' Devils. Next year there will be a lot of pressure on the team to peform and everyone should be eying the playoffs. If they fall significantly short of the playoffs, it will be a disapointment. That can be a lot of pressure on a team that is already hearing whispers of a move. Let's see if the young guys can handle it.

And now for tomorrows draft lottery.

Why the Draft Doesn't Matter
I've made a big deal about the Islanders landing number 91. However, I'm really not going to lose sleep over the draft lottery courtesy of the NHL salary cap. Players switch teams constantly in this league and there's always going to be a great player ready to be scooped up by a big spender. Including, perhaps, Tavares down the road. If the NHL had a system that rewarded good draft picks, things would be different. But it's nearly impossible to keep good players so why even bother drafting them? Either that or superstars soak up so much of the cap room it makes it tough to field good role players around them. I'm still rooting for a 1st overall pick, but the NHL needs to rethink its cap.

Alright, I've got some stuff to do but I wanted to cap the season. I'm going to try and find some time to rate some of the season previews and predictions but don't hold your breath. It may be a June post...

Let's Go Islanders Draft Ping Pong Ball Combinations! (CLAP, CLAP, CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!)

Make the IL DIVO picture go away

2009-04-07T23:22:00.005-04:00

I was just getting tired of that other picture.

Apparently tonight was worst loss in Islanders history. Grizzly balls. I was more pissed that I couldn't watch despite having Jiggs back. And I keep thinking about that guy Mr. Bad Example saw at a game a couple weeks ago with a Danis jersey. I like the kid, but talk about jumping the gun. In fact I still like everyone for the moment. We'll see how things are next year when I have expectations.

Make the IL DIVO Commercials Stop

2009-04-01T23:26:00.008-04:00

Like Reservoir Dogs except they fight over who gets to be Mr. Pink. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Can someone please buy all the tickets to this f*&^ing show so I don't have to see or hear about it anymore? I mean really, this is not Carnegie Hall--it's the Nassau goddamn Veterans Memorial Coliseum. If two months of constant advertising doesn't sell out a venue then maybe it's time to hang up the viking helmet and die. Please.

From a Bubblehead to a Bobblehead

2009-03-23T21:18:00.006-04:00

How do you follow up Ron Duguay Night? Easy. You head to Jeff Tambellini Bobblehead Night in Bridgeport.

I'm neither a huge bobblehead collector (the collection consists of a generic Mexican wrestler, Endy Chavez, and baseball play-by-play guy Warner Fusselle) nor really that much of a Jeff Tambellini fan (I want to be, really I do, especially since he wears my lucky number, 15), but I figured I'd make a hockey weekend out of it and take in the Sound Tigers' third game in three nights. Sunday's game found the Islanders JV taking on the Buffalo Sabres' farm team, the Portland Pirates. And, since I've been following the lineup for a few weeks, I was fully prepared for Mitch Fritz being a healthy scratch—not happy, but prepared.

I really like going out to Bridgeport (mainly because of the easy access via Metro-North, but also to see how the young guys—or, this season, just the guys—are doing), but since it is a bit of a hike from home base (about two hours door-to-door), I'm usually best served by the Sunday games, which have an earlier start time. Unfortunately, because this is the AHL, the Sunday game is usually a club's third in three nights, so play can be a little sluggish. This game started off well enough, though, with the Sound Tigers putting three on the board in the first period, and new Sound Tiger Robin Figren picking up his first AHL point. I'd briefly met Figren, a 2006 Isles draft pick, at the thoroughly depressing 2008 Draft Party at the Coliseum, so it was kind of cool to be there when he made it on the score sheet for the first time. He's still clearly feeling his way in the new league and he looks like a kid out there (he's only 20, so that makes sense), but, with any luck, good times are ahead for him.

The score at the end of the first was 3-1, with the Pirates' goal coming off some sloppy play in his own zone by the man who now officially (I'm the official, in case you were wondering) has "Poor" added to his name. I am, of course, referring to Poor Jon Sim, the man who has been waived twice and will likely be spending the rest of the season and the playoffs on the Sound Tigers (he's been piling up the goals since being sent down, though...he has 8 in 10 games). I liked Sim as an Islander and, while I understand that he doesn't fit in Gordon's youth movement, he always seemed like a decent, hard-working guy. It's hard to believe that no NHL team could use a guy like him (and I reckon he feels the same), and I can't imagine that PJS is thrilled to be toiling in the AHL at this point in his career (perhaps he can be the poster boy for a new "Dying in Bridgeport" ad campaign to bookend the "Born in Bridgeport" one. I hope good times are ahead—somewhere, anywhere on the NHL—for him, too.

Hewing close to the Islander work ethic, the Sound Tigers decided to take most of a period off—in this case, the second, where Portland scored two as the Islanders JV did little to stop them. But after killing off a five-on-three, the Sound Tigers got a power-play goal themselves, with Jeremy Colliton finding Sean Bentivoglio as he was sprung from the penalty box. That goal turned out to be the decisive one, as the third period got a little sluggish on both ends. But during the third period, I did spot Mitch Fritz up in one of the boxes, so that was a highlight. I also spent some of the game hoping to spot winning goaltender Peter Mannino's hot girlfriend, but no such luck.

I actually had the opportunity to get a genuine Mitch Fritz game-worn training camp jersey in the silent auction, but when bidding got into the $200 range, I realized that dream was not going to come true (apparently Fritz is way more popular than Jon Hein). I also passed on waiting to get Jeff Tambellini to sign the bobblehead because it was a long line and the trains only run once an hour (and if I took the later train, I wouldn't have been able to see who got booted off the "Rock of Love Bus"...fare thee well, Beverly). Plus, if it were signed, I'd feel much worse next year when I throw the bobblehead against the floor after Tambellini misses an open net. So I snapped this photo of him and Andrew MacDonald instead.

I nearly fell asleep reading on the train, as the hours of train and bus riding started to take its toll (I was continuing my valiant effort to read a complete David Foster Wallace book, though, so I may have drifted off to sleepyland regardless). But it felt good to have ignored March Madness and celebrated a hockey weekend instead.

Who needs brackets when you've got a 51-year-old guy with feathered hair and a bobblehead?

Rhetorical question. No need to answer.

Ooh La La

2009-03-22T11:31:00.006-04:00

I'd been meaning to get out to see an Eastern Professional Hockey League game ever since the team set up a booth at a Cyclones game I attended last year. Hockey in Brooklyn? Sure, I'll check that out. Then I looked online and saw where exactly the Aviator Sports and Recreation Complex (the home ice of the Brooklyn Aces) was and, as a 32-year-old man without a driver's license, thought, "Well, maybe not." The Aviator Complex is in a part of Brooklyn best described as "Where Exactly Am I?" Or at least it seems that way when you don't have a car and are reliant on the subway and bus routes of the Metropolitan Transit Authority. Similarly, if I wanted to see the Aces' rivals, our own Jersey Rockhoppers (apparently, a rockhopper is a penguin, because when you think Jersey, you think penguins), I would have to travel to West Orange, which is not a trip I want to make with NJ Transit.

Then, the Aces announced that they had signed "Hockey Night Live" sexpot Ron Duguay to a one-day contract, and he would be suiting up for a game against the Jersey Rockhoppers. Now, there's a reason to venture out into unknown territory. Then, to sweeten the pot, the Aces announced that the Howard Stern crew (well, those who could skate, and, based on the actual skating that took place, that was flexible) would be squaring off between the first and second intermission. It was go time.

When I asked the Q35 bus driver to let me know when we got to the Aviator Complex, all he said was "Oh, you'll know." And so, I did, as we came to an airport hangar-size building (the complex is part of Floyd Bennett Field, a decommissioned airport) that features two rinks, a basketball court, a rock-climbing wall, a bunch more stuff I didn't see, and surprisingly good pizza at the snack bar. There is no assigned seating for Aces games, save for the "skybox" seats above the ice, which, at $35, were out of my price range. So I plunked down $16 for a bleacher seat (those cold, uncomfortable steel benches that kids love to pound on, which becomes less charming with each passing second) and settled in for the game.

When the (naturally) helmetless Duguay initially took the ice, there was a pretty fair-sized pop. I was pleased to hear a well-fed Islanders fan begin to heckle Duguay during the ceremonial puck drop, urging him to come out to Nassau and see the banners and, of course, giving him a hearty "Ooh la la." The kids in his section seemed unimpressed and, perhaps, a bit confused. One can only hope that some parent's Saturday night was spent explaining that the older Ace without the helmet was once part of an ad campaign for designer jeans. And one can similarly hope that that child went to YouTube, found this

,

and is now ashamed to be a Rangers fan.

Duguay primarily took short shifts throughout, with a a few longer ones when whistles broke up the play. To his credit (and I don't enjoy giving Rangers credit), he didn't look out of place (except for, you know, the feathered hair and the earring) among the younger guys, and he even got a little dirty in the corner late in the third, getting a hearty roar from the crowd in the process. He was also strong on faceoffs, though perhaps his hair served as a distraction for the opposing player. Fortunately, further distraction was avoided when Duguay decided not to cut his jersey to show his chest hair.

It was a decent-sized crowd at the game, likely augmented by Duguay's appearance and not affected in the least, judging by the aggressive apathy that greeted the introduction of the Stern staffers at the first intermission, by the promise of seeing "Wrap-Up Show" host and "Jump The Shark" creator Jon Hein (whose physical appearance can best be described by the adjective "Keilloresque") and "The Intern Show" host Steve Brandano lace up the skates. I think I might have been one of three people clapping when they were introduced. And the cheers didn't exactly grow as they played (to be fair, though, I was on the less-populated side of the arena...a caller to the Monday-morning wrap-up show seemed to indicate that the other side of the arena was more into it).

The battle (never has a term been used more loosely), which also featured a guy wearing a Dell'Abate jersey who wasn't noted Islander fan Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate, Howard TV producer Doug Goodstein, and Private Parts coauthor and Village Irregular Larry "Ratso" Sloman (author of the best hockey book I've ever read, Thin Ice, about the Sasson-era Rangers, and the best Dylan book I've ever read, On the Road with Bob Dylan), ended 3-1, and all the goals were scored in the final two minutes when both goalies were pulled. It was ugly.

Luckily, Duguay was around to pretty everything up. And when he picked up a power-play assist on the game-tying goal in the final minute, the crowd ate it up. Alas, the Rockhoppers would not be denied their playoff-berth-clinching win, with Matt Puntureri putting in his second goal of the game with 30.7 seconds left in overtime. I'm not entirely clear about just how prestigious clinching a playoff berth in a four-team league is, especially when one of the four teams (the Hudson Valley Bears) has won three games out of 48 and let in 360 goals in that span. But it does mean that the Aces and Rockhoppers will meet in the best-of-three championship starting on Thursday. Go Rockhoppers! Make Jersey proud.

Duguay finished with an assist and a -1 and was scheduled to play for the Rockhoppers in today's season finale against the Danbury Mad Hatters, which I can't find stats for at the moment (I'll update later). In between, he joined his fellow Aces for a postgame autograph session. The line for said session eventually split into kids who don't care who Ron Duguay is and adults who at least kind of do (the latter included me, as I had him sign my NHL 75th anniversary book). As I was waiting in line, the guy in front of me noted the jersey in my hand and asked me which one I got. I told him that, though I bid on (and won...35 bucks) Jon Hein's "game-worn" jersey, the guys had apparently taken their jerseys with them, so I was told I could either wait for the team to get the jersey back and have them mail it to me or take one of the unused ones they had. Deciding that I didn't really want Jon Hein's jersey anyway (it was for charity, and there were no bidders), I jumped at an unused one. The guy on line seemed to think this was an awful decision.

"Game-worn. That's what they're all about these days. Game-worn," he said.

"Yeah, well, it's barely game-worn," I replied.

"Well, I guess that's true."

I got the sense that he still thought I was a fool. And when the Jon Hein game-worn memorabilia market skyrockets, I guess I'll think I was a fool, too.

On the bus back to the subway station (to the PATH station to home), I noticed two young kids with, I assume, their dad. Both of them were still clearly on a hockey high, but the older one was staring at his photo signed by the Aces as if it were the Golden Ticket, moving it around in his hands to look at every last signature. I'm almost certain he didn't care about Ron Duguay. He was just happy to have met and got autographs from the guys in uniforms he just saw play.

It was a nice image to take on the long journey home.

This is how it should be

2009-03-16T09:08:00.006-04:00

I think Mr. Bad Example was layering on a bit of sarcasm this weekend when he wrote via e-mail that, "this is easily the most enjoyable Islanders season since 2001-2002." But if this plan works, and someday we are looking back to 2008-2009 through the gentle haze of Stanley-colored glasses (Ok, even "Eastern Conference finals-colored" glasses), I think we will say this was at least a satisfying season in the larger context.

I understand the race to the bottom. Considering the economic structure of the league, the Islanders were in the best position to perform the full rebuild in the post-Ted era. I always have preferred the approach of the Red Wings-esque franchises that make it a priority to get good and then build from hidden draft picks, smart free-agent management, etc. But, well ... no shit, right? Who doesn't?

The Isles are doing it (mostly) correctly. Stocking up on draft picks. Not getting attached to veterans, except the handful who can handle being part of a rebuild, with all of the setting aside of professional pride that may entail. And then, of course, losing. You have to lose. But the Isles are doing it the right way. The team on the ice has played with guts and spirit for most of the year, considering so many of them wouldn't even get a whiff of the NHL for a contending team. They lose, but they lose close. And now that the Isles' place in the race for the bottom is relatively secure, they're winning just enough to hit the off-season with a kick of confidence. Come November, I'd like to see this on the scoreboard movie screen ... .

"He doesn't know it's a damn show! He think it's a damn fight!"

And, more good news here. Royal blue jerseys again next year, and management is pushing to make them the primary jersey going forward, likely in place for 2010-2011. Win.

Almost

2009-03-11T14:12:00.004-04:00

This, "Rangers Gain Draft Pick for Cherepanov's Death" is so macabre and clumsy you almost feel sorry for Rangers fans, who can't possibly support this ugliness.

Almost. Almost. Almost. Almost.

Paging Malcolm Gladwell

2009-03-11T09:13:00.005-04:00

Take a few minutes, read "Tough guy loses out on internal battle," in the Calgary Herald.

Lots of talk about fighting in recent months. No problem there. Make it legal for two men (or sometimes more) to punch each other in the face in the context of a game, and it's going to be discussed widely. It should be. They are, after all, punching each other in the face.

I do not support eliminating fighting, although I do support the helmet-on proposition, and increased penalties for the nonsensical staged fights. I've seen those fights from about 10 feet away in the AHL, where the compensation doesn't match up with the commitment and the risk, and it is achingly uncomfortable. Without the proper emotional context, you hear fists thumping against skin and bone in a quiet arena. It feels sleazy.

With that out of the way, I think it's important to give the debate, which is (for the most part) pleasingly nuanced, appropriate context. This particular story in the Calgary Herald is an example of poor context and causal reasoning.

It's easy for journalists to take the inherent drama of a bare-knuckle fight and apply that drama to circumstances outside the rink, without understanding external factors. A guy fights, there must be some emotional toll, and here's the guy who proves it. The subject of this story, Brantt Myhres, was a fighter, and also a drug/booze addict for 15 years.

From the story: "They can sit there all they want and claim that's part of the game," Myhres says in a low voice, barely discernible above the noise of a Calgary coffee shop. "I understand that. I guess, (fighting) half-killed me though, being part of the game. I understand that I had a choice, too, not to play hockey. But when you grow up and you're five years old, and that's the only thing you ever want to do is play in the National Hockey League. It didn't matter what you had to do, you did it."

This is speech shaded by addiction. This is sensitive stuff, because this guy obviously has been through the ringer, but you can't simply draw a line from hockey fighting to addiction that clearly and that simply. A better journalist would tell you he's not drawing that line, that he's simply presenting facts, and you are making the causal link. That's a copout, and it's a fundamental pillar of the business. But Bruce Dowbiggin can't even do that, because he's loaded this story with his own reasoning.

Some samples

"The NHL culture of allowing gave Myhres a life in The Show from 1994 to 2003. Then it almost took his life through drugs and alcohol."

"The collateral damage is written all over Myhres' bio."

"To reinforce his point, Myhres lists the widely disproportionate number of 'knuckle' boys who've ended up with him in rehab or worse: Bob Probert, Chris Simon, Chris Nilan, Brian McGrattan, Darren McCarty and John Kordic are the more public of those who've sought refuge from their job in substance abuse."

And, this is the worst, "He's removed the trigger point for his addiction: hockey."

Bruce Dowbiggin does not know why Brantt Myhres is an addict. Brantt Myhres may never know why he is an addict. The line can't simply be drawn, "hockey fights made a drug/booze addict out of Brantt Myhres, and all of these other fighters." It seems logical being a fighter would add to life's stresses, but to imply any of these addicts would have been substance-free without hockey fighting - which is what is being done, make no mistake - is to make a giant leap in reasoning that can't be made without oodles more information. And even then, the science is so inexact it's difficult to even call it science.

Football lineman and running backs become addicts. Pool players. Lefty pitchers. Point guards. Nurses. Teachers. You know the drill.

I don't like staged fights. And yes, sometimes it really is two grown men pulling at each other's underwear. But there are bigger concerns in life, and a little circus-flavor in your hockey game is an acceptable indulgence. Is there collateral damage? There must be some. But there is collateral damage to everything in life. Where do we start drawing the lines? QB sacks? Hard fouls in basketball? Boxing? MMA? Beanballs? You do the best to control these things. Make them keep their helmets on. Keep the appointments out of the game.

Even Carl Sagan once wrote that we should be forgiven our Monday Night Football and our predilection toward violent sporting confrontations. It's ingrained.

And look, I hope the goon-only player disappears. But while we're sorting this out, and the debate continues, let's not start making shit up.

In exile

2009-03-09T21:37:00.003-04:00

My wife is working out in the living room, so I am relegated to the computer. I worked out tonight, too. Three brownies (they're homemade, what the hell ... ), two beers, and a rousing fist pump when Vs. displayed the Rangers falling below the playoff line.

She's doing a little dance workout routine on the TV. It beats the balls off of Dancing with the Stars, and also reminds me, why the hell aren't they selling these

(the outfit, not the girl ...)

in the Isles' team shop?

Guy Carbonneau is out in Montreal. Our friend the Puck Daddy thinks the blame is correctly placed here, writing that the "losses of Mark Streit and Michael Ryder couldn't have made that much of a difference, could they?" A few readers in the comments pointed out quickly and accurately that Mark Streit not only has been good (I'd say really good considering the supporting cast) for the Isles, but that a defenseman who can make the smart breakout pass, handle the puck in space, and work the point with some confidence and sense is highly valuable in the NHL. Yup. Garth Snow +1.

http://www.islanderspointblank.com/ is great. Like having another more-than-full-time reporter covering the Isles. But here's something we can do Chris Botta can't: write "fuck." So go read fucking point blank. As if I have to tell you. In what universe would someone find this blog without having first found the other? This one.

Vs. is terrible. Not necessarily the coverage, although people who care about these kinds of things seem to also hate Vs. I don't watch any national studio shows except HNIC about twice a year, so whatever nonsense they're talking about on Vs. is about the same to me as whatever nonsense they're talking about the NHL Network, except there's better hair and better accents on the NHLN. The thing is, Vs. is a shitty, ridiculous network full of shitty, ridiculous shows considering it is supposed to be flagship of the damn league. How in holy hell cannot there not be a nightly highlight show? How is this acceptable? And what the fuck about Saturday night? I thought Vs. was supposed to be showing HNIC? (is it only the NHL Network? If it is, you can't get that in hotel rooms, and that's where I watch hockey.) Seems logical they would, but instead they're riding fucking bulls Saturday nights.

Fine. Do what you fucking want. But do not give them Stanley Cup games. I know, NBC doesn't do shit either. But it's NBC. And although that means a hell of a lot less than it used to, it stills means a great deal for the NHL. Naturally, I have no solution. I despise ESPN. Maybe shift the whole thing to the NHL Network? Maybe make it 200 or 300 percent easier to watch shit online on a good, hi-def feed? I don't know. Now I'm tired.

Last thing: NHL 09 was fixed by a patch about a week ago. It's fantastic. I take back everything I said.

It's fun again

2009-03-09T11:19:00.004-04:00

I'm reading between the lines. And more lines.

"Leadership is a funny thing. You can't really describe it. It's just there. A lot of the guys are playing with a lot of confidence now, which shows a lot of leadership."
- Kyle Oh!poso

"Off the ice, we've had it great all year. But on the ice, I think there's a big difference. Maybe it's because we're young and kind of know each other."
- Sean Bergenheim

"Sometimes players get bitter and that's part of the game. I'm not going to worry about it. Just the fact that we, given our situation, have competed at the level we have here. If it was all that bad, human nature would have been just to throw away the rest of the season, to tank it.

"For me, it was identifying the players who I thought had the character to lead us through the rest of the year and get us into the start of next year."
-- Scott Gordon

Get the feeling Bill Guerin isn't so missed by the Islanders younger players or the coach? It doesn't surprise me.

I like Bill Guerin as a player. I know nothing about the man. He's a below average player now, or hovering just around average considering his toughness and the experience. But he was a very good player for a bried period of time. And he was a damn good, always complete player when he wasn't very good.

But Bill Guerin, the leader of this team? I'm not sure I buy it. It's always interesting hearing the rumblings around this franchise about grizzled veteran leaders struggling to find their place with aggressive young coaches. Bill Guerin was bitter, if we're to believe Scott Gordon and Herrmann Monster, and, I guess, Guerin, if the sniping about not knowing where he was going is any indication. This "sitting in limbo" thing obviously played out poorly for the team and for Guerin. But what else to do? I don't know. And I suppose the Islanders didn't either.

I don't know what Bill Guerin wanted out of the Islanders, although I think the Islanders got exactly out of Bill Guerin what the Islanders wanted. They got a serviceable captain whose dedication and work ethic hopefully was transferred to some of the younger players. Guerin might have thought he'd finish his career here, although his feelings regarding Gordon may have made that impossible/uncomfortable/unproductive. And he had to know by having a decent season, he was making himself a commodity at the deadline.

Anyway, it's a minor drama. I think the team is better off without Guerin (and Weight, for that matter) moving forward. You need character guys, but I think it's preferable to develop them from within. Shipped-in leadership is no substitute for players drafted by the franchise, players who have some deeper-rooted loyalty and connection amongst the group. And I think this especially holds true for a young, young team in the earliest stages of development. This team is a not a player away. Best to develop from within.

Mike Comrie? Who gives a shit?
Chris Campoli? That's a-whole-nother post.

We'll get there.

An Oddball Opinion

2009-03-03T21:39:00.008-05:00

I'm going to break ranks here. I bleed orange and blue and everything, but I'm getting a little tired of this Texas Hold'em all-in approach to the "Lighthouse Project." I'm in favor, I'm in favor and I want it to happen but good holy christmas--what's the rush? Is the reason you're not going to an Islanders game really because of the arena? I mean, if they were contenders are you telling me you'd be staying home because there's not an expensive steak restaurant there? Please.

What's more disturbing is the complete lack of interest on the environmental impact of this project. Again, I want it to happen, but if Hempstead has to take some time to get their collective heads around what this will do to the environment then I am fine with that. I like my water to be as unpolluted as possible and if that means I have to go to some more games and park in a crumbling parking lot and watch an antiquated scoreboard then I'll survive. Think I'm overreacting? Check out this article from the same paper that's treating Wang like he's Ghandi.

Call me a whiny liberal environmentalist if you want (hell, I'm just happy someone's reading this blog) but here's how I see it: One of the richest men in America uses a hockey team to strong arm some local politicians into approving a gigantic building project. As far as I know it's environmentally sound, but if the project were somehow to be considered a huge environmental liability, how could these politicians possibly stand up to the onslaught of Newsday and Wang dragging us fans along with them? I'm guessing the politicians would be strung up before getting a chance to explain the delicate intricacies of our aquifers or whatever other problematic impact the project might present. I don't exactly know how to take the moderate road of wanting the team to stay and getting a new arena while avoiding feeling bullied into supporting Wang's project on his terms. Open to suggestion...

Related articles (for those wondering where the hell this all came from) here and here.

Dr. Hook and the Mitch Fritz Show

2009-03-01T17:05:00.010-05:00

Upon visiting the Bridgeport Sound Tigers' website last week, I saw that Paul D'Amato, a/k/a Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken of "Slap Shot" fame, was due to appear at that Saturday's Sound Tigers game to sign autographs. I quickly sent out an e-mail to The Mediocre One, as well as two lowercase mediocre ones (or, as they are also known, Rangers fans) to gauge interest in a trip to Bridgeport. I'd been itching to get to a Sound Tigers game, since I hadn't been yet this season, and this seemed like as good an occasion as any, even if it meant missing a dual-accordion concert in Brooklyn featuring an alumnus from the Official Palm Isle Alma Mater.

Not surprisingly, the Mediocre One was the only one to jump at the opportunity; I can only assume the Rangers fans were home baking muffins for their hero. So, after a brief flirtation with going to see Mr. D'Amato (along with Chris "Hanrahan" Murney and Andy "Tim Carr" Duncan) at the Coliseum on Thursday (which turned out to be a double-super-secret appearance not promoted or even really encouraged by the Islanders), we were off to Bridgeport to see Mitch Fritz's Sound Tigers take on the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins in a battle for second place in the East.

The Mediocre One picked me up in Woodside, where I'd arrived from Philadelphia after a Friday night Jason Isbell concert, and we headed for I-95. The Mediocre One is easily a bigger "Slap Shot" fan than I (I'm a "Slap Shot 2" kind of guy...I keed), and he and the Reverend Zamboni (perhaps you remember him from the good old days here, before he abandoned us for the cold embrace of the Central New York winter and the love and adulation of his twice-monthly Puck Daddy fantasy-hockey column) are members of the legendary Ithaca College intramural floor hockey Charlestown Chiefs franchise. And, as a member of the team, the Mediocre One wanted to make sure he wouldn't be the only Chief to have a Dr. Hook autograph. That meant that he came fully prepared with not only DVDs but also a stack of Dr. Hook photos printed on his computer. Ten of them. We were hopeful that Mr. D'Amato wouldn't be charging a hefty fee for his signature.

We got to the Harbor Yard about a half-hour before gametime and found what seemed to be a sizable crowd getting ready to head into the arena. Still, because it's minor-league hockey, we were able to pick up center-ice seats, about twelve rows back, for $28 a pop. We could've gotten cheaper tickets, but I like to support the Sound Tigers as best as I can. And considering similar seats at the Coliseum are probably about three times as much (and, let's face it, the Isles are really the Sound Tigers varsity at this point), it was still a helluva deal.

We spotted the Dr. Hook table soon after entering and after scoping out the merch situation (signed 8X10s, pucks, and t-shirts were available for $10, $15, and $20, respectively, and there appeared to be no fee if you brought stuff to sign), we decided to head to our seats and come back later.

After the excitement of seeing Mitch Fritz in person subsided (never gets old) and the first period ended, we headed to the concourse to complete Operation McCracken. While the Mediocre One was in the can, I bought a Syracuse Bulldogs puck and got it signed, capping off the experience with this swell photo.

And then came the Mediocre One's turn, after he bought $20 of raffle tickets for the McCracken jersey, in a goodwill gesture for the monster autograph signing that was about to take place.

The Mediocre One opted for a split session, getting the DVDs signed first and letting the line die down before hitting him with the photos (all class, that kid, though I did give him some coaching based on my sadly vast autograph experiences). So, after talking with the guy in charge of the Slap Shot fan pages on MySpace and Facebook (nice guy...I forget his name; TMO has his business card) he headed back to the table when things subsided and hit him with the stack (not literally). Mr. D'Amato was awfully nice about it, happily signing and personalizing the photos as TMO made sure to get all his Chiefs (well, the important ones) covered.

And, since we were on a roll and had obtained 14 autographs from Mr. D'Amato, we kidnapped him and took him back to the Mediocre Estate, to watch "Slap Shot," partake in a couple of rounds of Scattergories, and play Super Mario Kart on the Wii.

OK, you got me. We didn't. But seriously, Paul D'Amato's a good (and patient) dude. Check out his website and buy a signed photo (or ten) if you're so inclined.

With all that taken care of, we could enjoy the game, which wound up being a pretty good one. It was hard not to just watch the awesomeness of Mitch Fritz the whole game (the man seems to be forever taking notes about whose ass he might have to kick later in the game), but the rest of the Tigers played well and had things well under control, until an incident with 6:16 left in the third. After a play stoppage, there was some jawing at the benches involving Fritz, and the next thing we knew Fritz was heading back to the locker room and the Penguins had five minutes of power play time. What the?

Because the PA announcer likes to not be too vocal when announcing penalties, I originally thought that Fritz got an unsportsmanlike, but I see today that he was called for the equally baffling butt-ending (prior to the play stoppage, I guess, since I didn't see him butt-ending anyone at the bench). Don't see that called every day. In fact, I'm not sure when the last time I saw a butt-ending call was, particularly with six minutes left in a one-goal game.

No matter. The Sound Tigers killed off the five minutes (only one shot on goal) and took the 3-2 victory and possession of second place. The two teams are playing again tonight, and I'm watching it as I write this on the free AHL Live preview. Nice.

And that wraps up another successful Palm Isle road trip. I hope to provide you another Sound Tigers report after I attend Jeff Tambellini Bobblehead Night later this month.

Hope he finds a good bar up there

2009-02-24T20:29:00.006-05:00

1931-2008

We missed this one. Apparently Brad Sullivan, known to Slapshot fans as "Morris 'Mo' Wanchuk" died on New Years Eve, 2008. He was probably the most succesful actor in Slapshot besides Paul Newman, appearing in a handful of popular movies. I'll say this: Slapshot wouldn't have been the same without him.

Here's to all that gorgeous snatch in F-L-A.

We'll miss you, Hilary

2009-02-20T21:47:00.004-05:00

I like the trade. Comrie wasn't doing much and was likely going to leave anyway, and Campoli's considerable offensive skills were often overshadowed by his softness on defense. I'm sadder about Campoli leaving, but a first-rounder cushions the blow. And Dean McCammond. Yeah, well, whatever. A warm body at the very least.

So, good job, Garth.

Sucks!

2009-02-16T10:14:00.002-05:00

I just happened to see this yesterday so maybe you all knew about it already, but just so you know, this is out there. And as if this wasn't bad enough on its own, keep an eye out for an appearance from Mark Messier. Blach.

The John Tavares Countdown is back on

2009-02-12T23:00:00.010-05:00

I got scared there for a little while what with the winning streak. But things seem to be simmering down a bit. I would like to see Atlanta pull away a little bit to be honest and we’ve still got a long way to go, but I like our chances for getting the number one overall. Besides, Atlanta has already had Marc Savard, Marian Hossa, and Ilya Kovalchuk. They clearly don’t know what the hell to do with good players (I will acknowledge a level of hypocrisy considering the people who have been through the Islanders’ organization in the past 15 years).I do root for the Islanders while watching, but the they need this kid.

Anyways, it’s 134 days and 14 hours before John Tavares becomes an Islander.I should mention that I’m not superstitious when it comes to sports. Only players get to have superstitions since they actually have a role in the outcome of a game.

I should also mention that I don’t want to hear anything about this defenseman from Sweden. He can be a good defenseman for another team—we need to stay focused.

Anyway, to keep you up to date on Tavares, he was the OHL player of the month for January and he’s leading the OHL in scoring with 78 points in 43 games. Just imagine Tavares scoring goals like this with Okposo on his wing scoring goals like this.

Losing Weight

This really sucks but perhaps there’s a silver lining. I thought that a productive veteran like Weight would get some decent offers at the deadline but that seems unlikely with Weight out for six weeks. It does mean that Weight will be around for next season which is good news for the 09-10 season.

Rebuilding

Just because I’m getting a little tired of people complaining about the Islanders, I looked to see what teams finished last a few years ago. Check out the three worst teams in the 2003-04 season: Pittsburgh, Washington, and Chicago. I’d say they’ve done alright for themselves since then and the Islanders have my full support for following their model.

NO! NO! NO!

2009-02-10T18:47:00.008-05:00

I know the Rangers are going to trade for him and the Islanders would never touch him, but I have to respond to this.

Why is it so hard for people to understand the importance of rebuilding? I don't get it. Anyway, yes, I did update the picture.

How To Keep Things Interesting in the Second Half

2009-01-25T15:26:00.005-05:00

Unless you possess a degree of optimism that has yet to be seen in the annals of history, you might have a hard time getting revved up to watch the Islanders in the second half, whether on the tube or live and in person at the plush Nassau Coliseum. And this presents a problem for a franchise looking to maintain and even grow a fanbase in Billy Joel Land. So, because it is better to light a candle than curse Charles Wang, The Palm Isle presents some tips to make things interesting in the second half.

Set up a Kansas City BBQ stand on the concourse.Newspapers haven't cared about the Islanders this much in at least a decade. So let's keep Kansas City out there. The city's known for its great BBQ, so it's a win on that front for the fan at the Coliseum. The fact that it'll get the media intrigued is a bonus. Where's the downside? Also, the Isles can install slot machines and, um, whatever Hamilton is known for to keep people on their toes about other places the Isles might wind up.

Don't just put Butch Goring in the seats; let him work odd jobs around the Coliseum. Unlike the Mediocre One, I like Butch Goring reporting from the seats on Islanders telecasts. But why stop there? Why not have him selling beer up in the cheap seats? Or shooting t-shirts out of a cannon with the Ice Girls? Or working the sushi stand on the concourse? The possibilities are endless--and I would think the probability of Butchie losing his cool would be quite high (and another ratings grabber). It also could be cool to have him do a hidden-camera show around the Coliseum a la "Howie Do It." Or just have him punch Ron Duguay once and for all. Point is the Isles are not tapping into Goring's full potential, and they need to change that ASAP.

One-up the magnanimous nature of the Penguins. We all know the great, heartwarming story of Jacob Anderson, the eight-year-old boy with cystic fibrosis whom the Penguins signed to a one-day contract. A truly great story. But the Islanders are one of the few teams who can do the same thing and actually get the kid some playing time (and, assuming he replaces Thomas Pock, actually improve the on-ice product). Sure, practice is nice and it's cool to hang out with Miro Satan, but wouldn't it be way cooler to actually play in a game? Let's make this happen.

Arbour Night worked, so why not just bring the whole team back? One of the true highlights in recent Islanders history was Al Arbour coming back to coach one last game. It was a perfect night and a true reminder of the franchise's respect for its past. So, if that worked, think how awesome it would be for the entire Core of the Four to come back for a regular-season game. Sure, some of the guys might've lost a few strides, but, again, how much slower can they be than some of the current Islanders? And if some of them are reluctant to come back (or if the Isles still can't find Wayne Merrick), they can open it up to all past alumni, thus appeasing the group of Islanders Mania posters who are "tired" of honoring the dynasty players (waaah).

Time to rethink the "three goals and everybody gets chili" promotion. It seemed like a good, reasonable idea at the time, but now the prospects of the Islanders scoring three goals at home are not strong. So the Isles need to find other ways to reward the devotees that still come out to the Coliseum. One idea is a free danish every time Frans Nielsen gets a point. Another is a coupon for a free bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream when Josh Bailey gets a point. But the best I've come up with so far is the new "Score with the Islanders" campaign, where, if the Islanders score one goal, a lucky fan will get to go out on a date with one of the Ice Girls. Sure, it's a a potentially tough assignment for the Ice Girls, but these are tough times and everyone in the franchise needs to pitch in. No exceptions. And, to be fair, if the lucky fan is a heterosexual woman, she can choose among the guys that drive the Zamboni, Charles Wang, or any of the night's scratches, healthy or otherwise.

So, there you have it. Five absolutely fantastic ideas for the second half. Think about 'em, Mr. Wang. And let's go Islanders.

Long Island Threatens to Move One of its Last Redeeming Qualities

2009-01-18T10:00:00.008-05:00

I’m sure if this blog is ever to achieve some moderate level of success, I’ll have to avoid insulting Long Island. Until that time let me say that the Islanders are one of the few things you can say about the place until you resort to, “well, it’s not New Jersey.” I think without the Islanders the few cultural attachments to the rest of the world will be gone and the Island might as well sink into the North Atlantic taking a significant chunk of the country’s strip malls and douche bags with it leaving the rest of the country to wonder why it suddenly got so quiet.

It was amazing yesterday to see how a single preseason game made everyone lose their mind. A wise man once said, “don’t believe the hype—don-don-don’t believe the hype.” Luckily, the Lighthouse project is taking a long time to approve which gives the Islanders some time to show the ever-patient New York area sports fans a chance to see what’s happening here. I had a Ranger fan sing, “I’m Going to Kansas City” to me, I had Islander fans telling me, “they stink they deserve to move.” But they’re not moving—they’re just threatening to. And as much as I was wrong about Mark Streit being awful before the season began and several other things, I know the Islanders aren’t moving. Don’t take a poor attendance as a sign of dispassionate fans. I’m happy to compare our passion with any team’s fans. As white collar as Long Island can be sometimes, the Nassau Coliseum is as blue collar as it gets. Try going to a Ranger game sometime where there are so many suits you’re not sure if you’re going to see the hockey or Pavarotti perform Carmen. Anyway, I’m OK, you’re OK, let’s not lose are heads just yet.

Good News

I just finished a Geography class which was one of the most depressing regular scheduled hours of my life. Basically, Long Island is an environmental disaster and our water is close to being completely poisoned. In that light, politicians in Hempstead should be commended for doing a thorough job on the environmental impact of the project. Also, the locals may have heard that traffic can be a problem around here. Something else to look into. But they said they would have already approved the revamped coliseum if that’s all Wang wanted. Clearly they’re on our side and want this to happen but this project is, in my estimation, unprecedented so there’s a bit of catching up to do. If nothing else, this whole thing has momentarily seized the attention of the New York sports media—something I never thought the Islanders had in them.

House Cleaning

2009-01-18T09:14:00.006-05:00

Here's some things I've been meaning to get out this week:

Thoughts on the Ranger Game

Garth Snow pronounced the K in Okposo. If I’m pronouncing it wrong someone tell me. Otherwise, someone pull Garth aside and ‘splain to him that it’s important to learn how to pronounce his players’ names. Especially the good ones.

Mike Comrie. I want to like Mike Comrie but he makes it SO HARD sometimes. He seems like his skills can’t always keep up with what he wants to do. He might be better if he makes simpler plays. Can’t say enough for a little guy like him willing to drop the gloves, though.

Howie Rose is back—let the flirting begin!
“You’re good, I get that ‘Dynamic Duo.’ You’re good. The reality, you’re right…”
“Does that make you Robin, by the way?”
“I don’t like the outfit”
“BOY WONDER!”
“Ha, ha, ha. Compared to you I am.”

Butch Goring in the seats. It’s stupid. Have him report from ice level.

Wrong about Mark Streit

Man, was I wrong. I predicted Mark Streit to be a complete bust. Lucky for me not too many people read this blog. Congratulations to Mark on not being what Bruce Boudreau would call a "representative. "

The Hokey Trip

So I did take a hockey trip last weekend. Here’s the summary:

Friday Arrival in Tully. Some NHL 2009 along with a few helpings of Molson Canadian. Some nice plays, some nice goals, but it’s hard to beat the guy who knows all the glitches in the game.

Saturday Floor hockey game at the community college. After three Advils to relax a sore back, I was ready to hobble my way through a couple of hours of play. While I had a couple of goals and a few good passes one of which was called ‘sneaky,’ it was mainly a wheeze-fest.

Later that evening, the Rev. and I headed out to Ithaca in a good snow storm for a Cornell Hockey game. It was the kind of snow that gets you revved up for a game. It was great to be back in the old Lynah barn. Even in prohibitive weather and during school break, the place seemed to sell out. The game was tight. Most of the action was at the other end of the rink, though. Cornell has a few NHL draft picks including a first-rounder for the Oilers.

Drinking followed the game which was cool. Nothing interesting to report, really except that the Rev. apparently will sacrifice quantity of beer for quality by drinking out of a fancy glass. Oh how things change…

Sunday In addition to the big Rev. Zamboni, there are two little Rev. Zambonis. They got a couple of big-boy hockey sticks for outside so we knocked around on the walkway between the growing snow piles. The Rev. and I turned this into a no-holds-barred deathmatch. Naturally. Then I headed home soon after the Giants/Eagles game started.

Oh, and everyone’s cameras were busted so there were no photos to document this action-packed weekend. Next time.

State of the Union(dale)

2008-12-31T17:00:00.005-05:00

Well, at least things ended on an up note: a home victory with Jiggs McDonald doing the play-by-play (no--OK, some--offense to Howie Rose). And December is finally over.

The bad news is January might be just as bad. February and March aren't looking so hot either. April should at least be brief.

Yes, the season is not going well, even by rebuilding standards. But there are enough glimmers of hope around to at least keep me interested and marginally happy. And, as an Islanders fan, "marginally happy" is a beautiful thing. I'm not saying I'm rushing home to catch Islanders games just yet, but when I do get home and settle in, I don't get really angry. I haven't even had the urge to pick up anything close and throw it through the TV screen in the hopes that it hits either Chris Campoli and Bruno Gervais since I don't know when. That's what we call progress.

So, yeah, anyway, let's take a look at the bright side (yeah, the bright side...why didn't those guys get their own show?):

First, Doug Weight is showing himself to be just the guy the Islanders need for rebuilding. He works hard every shift, leading by example, and seems to relish his role as an elder statesman on the roster. Plus, get this, he would like to stay in Long Island to play for the Islanders! Who knew God still made people like that? The cynic in me wants desperately to point out that all this means the Islanders will likely trade him at the deadline, but we're trying to kill the cynic in me and flush him out rectally. So here's hoping the Isles do the right thing and keep Weight around.

Second, the Okposo/Comrie/Comeau line's been looking good these last few games, and our Blessed Lord and Savior Okposo has looked particularly strong with the puck, which is encouraging. So that's nice.

Third, even the last two losses of the month--to Buffalo and the Rangers--showed the Isles playing with a little bit of spark, or at least about 450% more spark than they were showing throughout the month. So that's something.

Finally, well, I don't have a "finally" right now, so let's just dwell on those three things while we continue to think.

Anyway, 2008 (at least when it comes to hockey, lest you think we were moving toward some profound philosophical conclusion on global affairs...I assume that Jaroslav Falconerov and Sweet Fancy Moses are busy preparing that, explaining their absence here) was about as rough as I expected it would be. Sure, I thought there would be more than two wins in December, but sometimes my thoughts are wrong (so, so wrong). And if I wasn't OK with periods of deep despair, I would have denounced my Islanders fandom long ago. So I'm hunkered in for the long winter.

Every now and then, though, you can see that spark on the ice, see that the Isles haven't given up yet. And that makes it all--the constant mockery, the knowledge that it will be a slow turning--a little more palatable (which, for you Rangers fans having someone read this to you, is a big word that means "acceptable").

Keep hope alive. And your groins in playing shape.

Happy new year everybody. Happy birthday, Country Joe.

ADDENDUM: It seems that the Isles waived Mitch Fritz (Clap! Clap!) on Wednesday, which is, of course, sad news here on the Isle. With any luck, no one will pick him up and he and his quick-bleeding face can stay in the organization. But if this is good-bye, then, thanks for the memories, pal.

Heaven Must be Missing a Center

2008-12-30T23:33:00.008-05:00

I’m going to take a page out of the Craig Carton playbook and start this drumbeat now if no one else has yet—John Tavares must be drafted if the Islanders get the opportunity. Sure, I just really found out about him because of that sweet goal in the World Junior Championships, but don’t act like you’ve been keeping a steady eye on his development with Oshawa. Besides, you can’t blame me for thinking about a juicy first overall pick at this point. So tell your Congressman, your friends, tell your ‘massage therapist’ that you want John Tavares in an Islander uni this time next year. Feel free to come up with a good, easy chant we can shout during Islander games… Oh, hell, it’s gonna be “We want Tavares! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!” no matter what clever thing we come up with. And if we friggin’ trade down again I have all of you to blame for not helping me.

The Canadian Double Standard

2008-12-18T21:41:00.011-05:00

Tonight, the Vancouver Canucks honor one of the all-time good players in NHL history, Trevor Linden. And no, that’s not a typo. Trevor Linden was a good player. Nothing flashy. And yet, he’s treated like a god amongst the Canuck faithful and some of the Canadian media. And for what? He was a good ol’ Canadian boy playing for a Canadian team.

Look, I don’t want to take anything away from Trevor Linden. I really don’t have any issues with the Canucks retirement of his jersey. Here on Long Island I’m no stranger to a team reliving the past as a way to deflect attention from the present. But what does strike me about Linden was his ineffectiveness here on Long Island along with several other notable Canadian favorites.

And hell, who could blame them? There were more than a handful of reasons to be disappointed in playing for the Islanders. Things were a little different ten-plus years ago when these guys donned the fishsticks. ‘Financial crisis’ doesn’t quite capture the circus that was the time. One horrible year after another killed attendance in the Coliseum and after all, the bright lights of Nassau County aren’t exactly comparable to pretty much anywhere else.

Linden is not alone as far as former Islanders being honored in Canada. Wendel Clark was honored earlier this year by his Toronto Maple Leafs. And I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before someone throws a party for Kirk Muller. These three have more in common than just playing for the Islanders but that they failed to live up to expectations. Each one was a little different, but they were part of a long chain of disappointments. What separates them from the pack, however, is the fact that these bleed-maple-syrup Canadian boys seemed to lack that same 110% they gave with their former Canadian teams.

But the fact remains that these players did not live up to their billing, regardless of what happened off the ice. Clark’s numbers dropped considerably when he was on the Island, Trevor Linden was prone to long slumps and the Kirk Muller incident finally torpedoed Don Maloney’s questionable GM tenure and launched Mike Milbury’s. But this was all glossed over by the hockey and Canadian media when covering these careers.

Now none of this would be a problem except for the insistence that men like these gave their all, night-in and night-out, unlike those without Canadian passports. And here in lies the Canadian double standard: Canadians highlight everyone else's problems and forgetting their own.

I have to disagree slightly with some of the Rev’s comments from earlier this year. Players from different countries are different. The truth is that Europeans grow up with a different view of the NHL than North Americans. They don't follow teams, they follow fellow countrymen. They do watch live broadcasts of the World Championship every year and come out en masse to see the finals in those tournaments. Their style is a little different because of the rules and rink size, etc. And when they play abroad, they may not have the same motivation--just like so many Canadians that have played on Long Island.

And then we see European players return home when they still have a few years left simply to play in front of their own people. So at the end of the day, Europeans come with some different values. It doesn’t make them soft but spending years living in a different country—check that a different continent—can’t be easy. Yet the NHL is full of Europeans leading in a variety of categories so they can’t be too much softer than their Canadian colleagues.

Look, the point is that the Canadian grizzled hockey machines are myths. Everyone’s human and has their hang-ups. So as our colder North American brethren salute their legends, remember that even they didn’t always have all that heart with which Don Cherry speaks so highly of. Or maybe I’m just a silly, naïve hockey fan from the US.

You know you're an Islanders fan when...

2008-12-11T21:56:00.002-05:00

...you have the thought "well, I just hope they don't give up 10" at least three times a year.

To be fair, when you play Pittsburgh, you know it's only a matter of time before Pascal Dupuis burns you.

Sigh.

On the bright side, um, well, hey, the Sound Tigers are doing pretty good!

Let the Adventure Begin

2008-12-09T00:42:00.002-05:00

I am boring. Very boring. About a year and a half ago, I was being chased through the streets of a Transylvanian town by a Gypsy prostitute. Now I wear a tie and sit at a desk under florescent lights and make nice with the retired gentlemen at work. I’m not ready to go all “Frank’s Wild Years” but I could use a little spice. That’s where you, the many, many readers of this blog can help. I’m going to go somewhere and do something on the weekend of January tenth. I’d like people to think of a trip I can take somewhere in the name of hockey. Budget is very limited. After we get some (any) submissions, we’ll post some sort of poll. I’ll do whatever wins and document the trip. Feel free to add conditions or an itinerary. Hope this works.

And after thinking about it, this is a bit of a "Tinsel and Rot" rip off (check out Mr. Bad Example's blog on the left) but I don't care.

Sign of the Times

2008-12-07T15:31:00.008-05:00

Seems like everyone's getting laid off these days. I couldn't believe it when I saw that MSG Plus's power play clock lost it's job. I thought for sure it would have it's job locked up. I mean, power play clocks have been around forever, but apparently we're living in a new age where a simple clock is past it's usefulness. Not all is lost, however, because it was apparently important to flash the second period shot totals in the middle of the third when no one was talking about it. Anyway, I guess no one and nothing is safe in this economy.

At least MSG has kept things like this frequently updated Web site:

All is Dead

2008-12-03T09:33:00.003-05:00

Completely, unforgivably off-topic, but if you have a few tens of millions of dollars you'd like to invest in a profitable business that might help your community and leave you with a clear conscience at night, buy your local Gannett newspaper and turn it into a vibrant, local, proud, snarling, pissy, exciting rag.

http://gannettblog.blogspot.com/

Those motherfuckers are finally pulling the guts out of the business they bled years ago, putting the ax to hundreds of reporters/editors/photogs across the country, most of whom had valiantly carried on despite being owned and manhandled by a company that hates news, can't get by on profits of 30-35 percent in some cases, and turned some decent newspapers into insufferably boring, stale, dry, gutted, cheap, soulless, lifeless, bloodless, gutless, lying! (life is exciting motherfuckers! but it certainly isn't presented that way by your local Gannett paper) sacks of fish wrap shit.

I know some really good people who have done excellent work at Gannett papers, despite the ridiculous over-management, shitty pay, shitty benefits, where's the union? hours, etc. Today I think of them, and I think of the business I entered at 19, smoking an unfiltered Lucky Strike, full of a lot of shit, but right there on the streets, reporting. And I've left that behind. Wisely, as I have a family to feed and clothe.

The Internet is not going to kill news. And I'm not even certain it killed Gannett. But they would like you to believe it.

If I were a millionaire, my ass would be buying a small paper today.

Who the fuck is wearing this?

2008-11-25T16:09:00.003-05:00

It's called the fucking "Corleone."

How about a royal blue capper to go along with the new/old jersey? How about a nice, vintage puff-on-top winter knit?

How about you realize despite the fact Long Island is full of Long Islanders, hockey fans are generally not the types to be found on this.

Of course, I'm sure I will soon stand corrected. Mediocre One, I will leave that to you.

But that's an ugly-ass hat.

Real Life turns into NHL 94

2008-11-24T22:43:00.006-05:00

Ryan O'Byrne decides he hates himself

My original, Islander gut reaction was, “Jesus, is this what we need to happen to win?” But the truth is the goal only tied the game. The Islanders killed some penalties and then Park and Guerin came up clutch in the shootout. We’d all love for the Isles to be Red Wing like and make their own opportunities but we’re not there yet so it’s a good sign that when doors open, they can walk through.

And let’s all have a drink for Ryan O’Byrne. Not only did he have a brain fart in the wrong town but he’s a Cornell alum. Not that I’m a Cornell alum but just read the previous post and you'll understand. Anyway, Canadian fans need to chill just a bit.

Watching Hockey with the Lazy Eye, Vol. I

2008-11-24T09:59:00.012-05:00

Credits due to the folks across the Internet-o-sphere who paid appropriate homage to Paul Newman/Reg Dunlop, acknowledging in his death the actual weight of the role and looking back, thinking, "Slap Shot actually is a good movie, not just some hockey slobs version of a Caddyshack."

It isn't On the Waterfront, but if you've lived in a town that looks a lot like the Charlestown/Johnstown of Slap Shot, there is a darkness captured in the mill, in the brown winter jackets, dirty snow, worn-by-wear jeans, and cheap hats that looks a lot like November through April in Binghamton or Syracuse, or whatever place is home. That's what hockey feels like. Snow on the curbs, wet road, bare trees, canadian beer, and cars covered in salt.

And that's what missing at this past weekend's hockey visit, Cornell University, whatever the charm of Lynah Rink and the active student cheeering section.

The Upstate Ice Girl and I cashed in a grandma-babysits chip Saturday night and watched the Big Red take on Dartmouth in Ithaca. I've been to at least one Cornell game each winter since a high school friend/Cornell student starting passing tickets my way in college back in 1995.

Lynah is fun. The students have a series of ritual cheers they perform throughout the game, and they go off script often enough to keep it fresh and funny. During the Dartmouth game, the student section engaged in a battle of wills with the Dartmouth goalie, imploring him to "bend over" during a Big Green powerplay. He would not oblige. For at least 1:45. Finally, the Big Red cleared the puck on net, and he went to a knee to steer the puck to the corner. Big cheer, some laughs. (elynah is a great, comprehensive site for learning Cornell cheers, checking out pictures, etc.)

Lynah has a low ceiling, old wooden beams, and concrete benches for bleachers. The fan involvement and passion nearly reminds me of the Old AHL I used to watch in Binghamton, but with a key ingredient missing. The Dirt.

A visit from Rochester or Syracuse was a serious event in the days of the Binghamton Whalers, and, to a certain degree, the Rangers. I was too young to attend Dusters/Johnstown games, but I have a feeling that might have had a little spice, too.

Dusters at Philadelphia Firebirds

Two years ago I forgot my place at a Cornell game and stood up to admonish the Big Red captain, Byron Bitz (who, coincidentally, I saw playing for the Providence Bruins a few weeks ago during a hockey trip to Albany).

It appeared Bitz had been on cruise control most of the evening against Dartmouth, so when he finally laid a body to the opposition with 1:10 remaining, I leaped up and screamed something along the lines of, "if you'd done that 25 minutes ago I might not want to rip that 'C' off of your chest, you pu..." and as I saw the heads turning, that final epithet weakened and went unfinished, a bit like Joe McGrath in the lockerroom at intermission of the Federal League championship, had he collapsed while struggling through "puuusssies."

So I'm not arguing for vulgarity (today), as I like to be able to take my kids to a game and not have to explain what someone means by "cocksucker." But I always find myself missing "The Dirt" when I am in Lynah.

I miss the Binghamton/Syracuse girls dressed for bear, hair to the ceiling, leather coats and boots glistening, lips begging come hither. I miss the drunk dancing, the kids running up to the glass with an eye cocked over the shoulder waiting for the usher to bring them back. And I miss the broken bar signs outside of the arenas, palm trees or overflowing mugs that had once been proudly lit from within only visible now in the lights of passing cars.

Cornell is nice. And think that's what's missing.

In the catacombs of the Old Bird, the Broome County Veterans War Memorial

The Islanders

Well, frankly, I haven't been watching much due to scheduling conflicts, road trips, and the impending holidays. I'll get back to it soon enough.

I like what I read. I watched the Vancouver game and felt the Islanders were the better team for the night, and it seems they're carrying that energy forward, for the most part.

The Nielsen thing sucks, but I think the whole "let's talk about head shots" thing is something I'll think about before I write what everyone else is writing. We'll get there.

Ok. We'll try to stay with it ... .

A Plea

2008-11-10T08:57:00.005-05:00

Before mustaches were retro

I am sick of league tyranny. The NHL under the Bettman administration has been one disappointment after another. One year the refs call penalties one way, the next they call it another way. Schedule formats change, conferences shift and unprofitable expansion is embraced. And yet, the league slavishly clings to one of the most outdated tenets of the game—three periods.

The current format today is as old as it is unfair. The first written record of ice hockey period lengths comes from an 1883 three-team tournament at a Montreal winter carnival. It was the first championship of hockey and featured TWO 30-minute periods.[i] This became the standard until the 1910-11 season which saw the format change into our current three 20-minute periods.[ii] This format has been with us now for… carry the one… 98 years!

And as we can see from the on ice product, this is outdated. The game of hockey wants to be a faster game? How about being done in 40 minutes instead of 60 minutes? Look at other sports—the NFL, NBA, and MLS all have two halves. Yet the NHL continues with its archaic, and may I say uneven, three-period system.

There are those who would point to my affiliation with the Islanders and their penchant for blowing leads in the third period (hereafter referred to as the ‘turd’ period) as the reason for making such a plea but to them I say, “OK, we get it Mr. Douchebag, you can read. This is me clapping slowly and sarcastically for you. clap… clap… clap…”

In conclusion, I would like to ask all readers to please write Gary Bettman and insist that he bring the NHL into the 21^st century and dispense with turd periods. Thank you.

[i] Fischler, Stan. “The Great Book of Hockey.” 1991 pg. 3.

[ii] Ibid. pg. 19

This Just Says it All

2008-11-07T10:50:00.003-05:00

Normally we do our own work here, but we're not "on top" of this, and this can't be ignored.

PuckDaddy is on top of it.

No We Can't

2008-11-06T23:25:00.004-05:00

A trend perhaps? Throughout the second period, I was going to write a post entitled, "make me stop" where I started to talk about how the Islanders may be for real and that I'm getting genuinely excited about the team. No need, I've been stopped. In trying to understand these collapses, I first put the onus on the players. But then I thought, in all sincerity, that perhaps there's a flaw in the game plan and it just takes other teams a little while to see the holes and they're then able to exploit those holes in the third period. Of course, those holes may also be called Gervais, MacDonald, Polk, or Tambellini.

Before I go totally negative, let me say that Hunter looks good this year. Damn good. The numbers aren't there yet but he plays smart and seems to play position well. Like what I'm seeing from him. I predict he gets hot in the second half of this season.

Yes we can!

2008-11-04T22:10:00.003-05:00

I feel better now.

Big win tonight, with strong goaltending from Joey Mac and a good job of taking it as it comes from the offense. And that was the kind of third period I was hoping to see. It wasn't a perfect game by any means (plus, there was no Fritz-Orr, but there'll be time for that later in the season), but if the Isles can win some games like these, it'll make the clunkers a little easier to take.

I generally don't like to gloat, particularly so early in the season, but I'm not sure how many gloating opportunities this season will present. So, though I'm sure it will come back to haunt me, please enjoy the results of my indie film shoot after the game:

.

Campoli scores twice, one counts, Isles win

2008-11-03T21:36:00.003-05:00

I don't think I can handle an in-depth update after that ... but hey, you won't find me complaining.

Give this team credit for finding some wheels after giving up another three-goal lead. They're entertaining even when they're awful. And they weren't awful tonight, save for the third period. (can I get away with writing that? dear reader?)

I still believe, Mr. Bad Example. I think I'm getting a little delusional, but I still believe.

I'm making a list. Someday I'd like to have the pleasure of looking at it and thinking, "naw, I shouldn't actually make an in-person visit to every single media member who maligned Islanders fans for the past 10 years, should I?"

Somebody Canadian explain the CBC to me, please

2008-11-03T20:17:00.002-05:00

passport please

I don't get P.J. Stock

The same network that employs Don Cherry lets P.J. Stock talk on its radio and television shows. I'll give you Don Cherry as a kind of guilty, almost/sort of justifiable pleasure. Maybe he's giving a voice to the Great Forgotten Classic Canadian Hockey Fan, made nearly extinct by new age queers who like Europe and composite sticks.

But I can't excuse P.J. Stock. He's another practitioner of schtick, but with none of the self-awareness or flashes of humor Cherry brings to CBC. He's got the charm of a drunk spoiled frat boy thumbing your eye. No smarts. No charisma. No nothing.

P.J. Stock feels sorry for the Islanders franchise, and can't understand why a team in such a great market, with an owner who has "so much money," is not constantly successful. ("hello P.J. Stock, my name is the Nassau Coliseum ... nice to make your acquaintance." and, while we're at it, "hello P.J. Stock, my name is the Toronto Maple Leafs. I am surprised someone so staggeringly uninformed, arrogant, and grating could be hired by the network that claims it is home to hockey.")

And Jeff "Barley Sandwich" Marek, who never met a guest and/or CBC personality he couldn't agree with, went right along with P.J. on Monday's Hockey Night in Canada radio show as Stock went off on Garth Snow and the Islanders. "What kind of team is this? Where's the character guys to teach the young guys? Where's the veterans?" And, I swear, this was after he rattled on for a minute or two about how the Islanders are "too old."

Too old. The Islanders are too old.

Look, there was a guest on before Stock (I tuned in late and missed his name) who actually had some nice things to say about Garth Snow and, especially, Scott Gordon's aggressive system, so I'm not accusing the show of anti-Isles bias (wouldn't matter anyway), but I am accusing them of anti-listener/viewer bias.

P.J. Stock offers no analysis other than his recollections of the "code" as it was employed during his NHL career. And most of the time he's spouting so much shit you can almost hear the players he competed against laughing from their tree stands in Saskatchewan.

The anti-Islanders prattle between Marek and Stock degenerated into a conversation about the leadership qualities the Isles are lacking, pointing the finger at Bill Guerin and Doug Weight and wondering why the Isles would bring Kyle Oh!poso up to the team and not have him play with veterans. Stock said, "All of the old guys are playing together."

"Islanders Move Okposo to Top Line." Newsday, Nov. 3, 10 a.m.

I honestly don't give a shit if Bill Guerin says three words to Kyle O! all year. The franchise has a coach whose job it is to teach the young guys how to play. But, I also know neither P.J. Stock or Jeff Marek has any clue what kind of lockerroom the Isles have, or what kind of leader the Isles have in Bill Guerin. It must be a special Canadian news media power to see inside the minds of hockey leaders and neophytes, because I hear a lot of spouted bullshit about the various off-ice qualities of certain players who are "leaders."

I'm not convinced any of these commentators have a damn clue what they're saying. Too often I imagine younger players rolling their eyes when so-called "character" guys give them another speech full of the same old tired bullshit lines rolling across the Canadian prairies for ages.

I met some Canadians this weekend, and they were really nice

So forgive me for this one ... .

Speaking of Canadian bullshit, here's Daryl Sutter on Doug Weight's hit: "It used to be 90 percent Canadians and 10 percent Americans. So it's changed, even though it's our game, and we should be able to legislate that. It's our game. It's nobody else's game. It's not the Europeans' game. It's not the Americans' game. It's our game, and we should have the say in it.

"If there's a guy who is only going to hit a guy because he's trying to hurt him or if he's going to hit his head, that's where the players should control it. Because that's a lack of respect. That's not how we used to play."

I like the Sutters, for obvious reasons, and I forgive them their reactions to Doug Weight's perfectly legal, moral, and ethical hit because they are protecting one of their own ... but "it's our game"?

That provincial bullshit belongs back in the 70s or 80s.

I actually agree with Sutter on many points. But the issue of big hits and their effects on the human body is for more complicated than "Americans and Europeans are pussies trying to steal our game and our women." Watch an old game. I've seen more hitting in the first period of the Islanders (big, high-speed collisions) than you'll see in a week of hockey from the 80s. The players were slower, especially on third and fourth lines, and they wore pads that looked like rolled up athletic socks taped to their shoulders. You couldn't risk those kind of hits every night.

It goes on, but suffice to say limiting the game to only Canadian players is not going to fix everything Daryl Sutter thinks is wrong with the NHL.

Anyway, it's my game Daryl. I play in the driveway, I buy the hats, I buy the T-shirts, I play the games, I teach my kids to love it. You don't get to claim it for anyone.

Bill James, the baseball writer, discusses the problem with the societal view that professional athletes are somehow exceptional individuals (this is where the "clutch" argument begins) as opposed to people who are just very good at their chosen professions, much like you are very good at reading blogs whilst getting paid to pretend you are doing something else.

Daryl Sutter must be full of a lot of shit if he thinks he can tell us all who owns the game of hockey.

Game update, 9:13 p.m. (full post tomorrow)

It's 3-3 right now. I'm gonna get drunk.

Dodging Lions and Wasting Time

2008-11-02T00:14:00.005-04:00

I should have known better.

I should have known to just stay home and watch the game on TV.

I should have known not to splurge on a higher-priced ticket.

I should have known that a 4-1 lead going into the third meant nothing.

But I didn't. And so now I am back in Jersey after the first trip to the Coliseum this season and what might be the most demoralizing sports experience I've ever witnessed in person. And that is saying something, because I was also in attendance at the infamous Islanders-Rangers "chicken dance" game (if you think I'm going to YouTube to get you a link to that, you're crazy) and one of the Mets-Phillies implosion games in 2007.

Maybe it's a little hard to grasp that if you weren't there. Sure they blew a three-goal lead in the third period, but they've done that sort of thing enough that it shouldn't be a complete surprise. But what made it worse was that the Coliseum may have had more Habs fans in attendance than Isles fans, and I seemed to be surrounded by them. So every goal in the third brought about a rowdier celebration, culminating in the postgame "Ole, Ole, Ole" parties that every poutine-eating douchebag was photographing and recording for posterity on the concourse (seriously, Habs fans, don't gimme this Ole bullshit). After tonight, I finally get why people hate the Canadiens. For the first time in my life, I'm with you, Leafs fans.

I should also point out that I saw several people wearing Yankees hats and Canadiens jerseys. Nice combination. You could wear a giant vibrating dildo on your head and a complete Nazi storm trooper outfit and still not look more physically repulsive. Congratulations!

But back to the game. For two periods, it was the greatest game ever!

That's all I want to say about the game at this juncture, because I have my health to think about.

Of course, I should mention... Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz!

Good first bout. I was hoping for the clap chant afterward. No luck. We'll get there. I thought of starting it myself, but I was alone and had already yelled so much during the fight that the people around me may have been frightened.

After the game ended, I sat in my seat for about 10 minutes, partly out of sheer disbelief and partly because I needed to calm down before I made my way to the concourse. And in that time, I thought back on the game I'd just seen, the last few years of the Isles, the last two seasons of the Mets and wondered if it's not too late to say goodbye to all this and pursue something new, perhaps an avid devotion to the musical theater.

But I know I will be back at the Coliseum. And at Citi Field next year. Why? Because I'm stupid. What...you were expecting something profound?

But, yes, OK, also because, despite everything, despite all my brain tells me, despite all the demoralizing train rides home from Hempstead, I still believe.

However, I also believe that next time I'm getting the cheaper seat.

***
Live Game Breakdown: Isles vs. Canadiens, 11/1/08

Highlight: Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz!

Lowlight: Let's just go with the entire third period

Food consumed: pretzel, chicken tenders, and some fries before I lost the desire to eat anything

Merchandise purchased: nothing, though I did get a free t-shirt from the Sports Soup people

Best jersey spotted: (tie) Hubie McDonough and this guy

We're Getting There

2008-10-31T09:56:00.004-04:00

Having already discarded the idea of the Isles making the playoffs, a sense of serenity washed over me last night as I watched them outplay the Flyers in Philadelphia and then lose in the OT. I believe I am discovering that joy I had been seeking in watching what I know will be a losing team.

Mark Streit has been an absolute pleasure to watch. I am hoping he is not Mariusz Czerkawski V. 2, a very good player on a lousy team and a so-so player on a good team. (although, I guess at the point the Islanders become a "good team," I would be remiss to dwell on the play of Mark Streit.) He makes excellent decisions in both zones, attacks the net when the play is there, and has the kind of patience with the puck in his own end that instills something I remember feeling years ago after drinking 10-12 beers: confidence.

Trent Hunter has found himself, making his presence known on nearly every shift, playing strong on the puck, and, finally, shooting! Shoot shoot shoot. He's got a good one.

Nice to have Andy Sutton back. Nice to see Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz! (all credits to Mr. Bad Example for that one ... .) And, once again, MacDonald is holding on.

Kyle Oh!poso is playing well, although he was a little bit lost on the shuffle last night. He's hitting people when he needs to, and doing some nice things around the net. It will come. I believe.

If the Isles had Martinek and Witt, they win this game. Looking forward to Saturday.

Now if we can get Scott Gordon to drop a few Stengel lines ... .

The Return of Herrmann Monster

2008-10-28T10:08:00.007-04:00

(he hates Rangers too)

I have to keep this short. But this? Really? When you hear imminent news of departure, you write these ridiculous stories every week. We haven't heard that news.

We know the Lighthouse deal is important, etc. But where is this nonsense coming from? The team is terrible. The team has been terrible before. It's not surprising. The Islanders are supposed to be terrible this year. That's. How. You. Get. Better.

Charles Wang, for all of his failures, owns a team that has made the playoffs four times in the past seven years. That's not that awful. Also, he's never given any (any!) indication he wants to move the team. He wants to develop an entire fucking neighborhood/city around the fucking Coliseum. That is good. That is a nice, good thing. Yeah, he's going to make money. Someone makes money on almost every thing in the world that is good, even peace, love, dope, and anal beads.

Assholes.

The Isles looked pretty good for two periods. They don't finish well, but they did skate, forecheck, etc. for at least 40 minutes. They wilted in the third and got all disjointed, but I'm not going to complain. The Rangers are good. There, I said ... oh fuck it. There is nothing that pisses me off more in sport than seeing asshole Rangers fans at the Coliseum. Go back to Manhattan where you live ... oh wait, no one can afford to live in Manhattan. Go back to Jersey, or Rockville (is that even a place? I'm from Binghamton, fuck you), or wherever you motherfuckers live, and cheer against your hometown team in your living room, you insufferable twats.

Here's one huzzah! for our man Kyle Oh!poso. He looked good last night. I saw four of five good shifts, and we're Islanders fans, we'll take it.

It's snowing six inches up here today. I'm putting on the foil.

The Joy of Losing

2008-10-24T10:23:00.006-04:00

Jim Baumbach at Newsday makes this point that the Islanders are "basically hockey's version of the Tampa Bay Rays, circa any year from 1998-2007." Brace yourselves, because a lot of losing teams across the sports spectrum are going to be the subject of similar columns this week.

Baumbach thinks the Isles, like the Rays, should lose and draft well. I agree, although it's probably easier to do so in baseball, provided you believe in things like numbers and stats, and find trading partners who insist so strongly on giving you Scott Kazmir even your idiot GM can't turn down the deal.

Back from the digression.

I agree with Baumbach, although he's taking a "no shit" kind of stance. He also advises against fans getting too frustrated with this year's installment, likely a reaction to scattered booing and empty seats last night on the Island for a 5-3 loss to the Stars.

I would advise the same, but it won't do any good as some people like to boo, and most people don't like to buy tickets to watch terrible teams. (and I don't blame them.) Bad hockey is not a pleasant thing to watch.

I am going to try to find some joy in the Islanders' haplessness this year, although I think it will be a struggle.

Can't Anybody ...

There is joy to be found in lousy baseball. It's difficult to say why. I would have thought a terrible baseball team would actually win more percentage-wise than a terrible hockey team, but the Nationals won about 37 percent of their games this season. Last year's worst hockey team, the Lightning, won about 38 percent of the time.

It's easier to brush off a loss in baseball, but it's also much harder to make the playoffs. Maybe it's the nature of the game -- I find sports that require constant strategic interaction between players -- football, hockey, basketball -- tough to watch when played "ugly." There's nothing aesthetically pleasing about 30 percent from the field, Roman Hamrlik moving the puck out of his end in the Islanders days, or the Oakland Raiders. They might make a few plays worthy of bumbling blooper reels, but mostly it is frustration and boredom to watch a poor team swamped by a better team. See: Dallas Stars v. New York Islanders, Oct. 23, 2008.

You can make the argument that baseball is not as "passionate" a game as hockey (or football and basketball), and I would grudgingly agree (except in the case of basketball), as I don't think baseball's drawing attraction is "passion," at least in the body contact and physical pain/striving sense. And that makes it easier, at least for me, to enjoy a losing team.

I know I'm failing on this point. I accept it. Stick with me.

I would like to derive the kind of pleasure watching this Islanders team I am often able to derive from watching bad baseball teams (coincidentally, I'm a Mets fan). Aside from ignoring obvious mistakes, bad penalties, and missed scoring opportunities, I think the key lies in thoughts such as "hey, I really like those throwback third jerseys," "Ice Girls are hot," and "think of the bright side, if this team is good in 10 years, DiPietro will still be here," etc. Also, looking for nice outlet passes, decent shifts from youngsters, and trying not to think of Deb Kaufman (you motherfuckers).

That's all I got. Advice will be accepted.

I think I need to lay down.

Get in your mouse and get out of here

2008-10-17T08:39:00.006-04:00

There's something about watching former athletes who've become caricatures revert to the anger and intensity of their playing years that is mildly frightening (see: Barry Melrose after Kolzig's mishandling of the puck last night). Like the drunken clown in Uncle Buck, the characters of our childhood should not so easily let slip their adult failings.

Unless, of course, your hockey team sucks and your crazy old goalie has a senior moment ... Viva Les Isles!

Actually was able to watch the final three minutes of regulation and the brief overtime period. Sharp extra effort by Hunter. Thought Frederick Meyer IV looked pretty good, and glad I wasn't watching when they blew the lead.

I guess all is right with Islanders' world this morning, as long as you ignore the mounting injuries, the still-awful jerseys, and Tampa Bay.

Florida on Saturday, and maybe that motherfucker Tomas Vokoun. (see Puck Daddy readers? There's your hatred ... I give myself over to the fantasy dark side.)

Wrestling Shit

2008-10-14T10:58:00.004-04:00

You'd think I might have the energy to get the hair up following yesterday's debacle on the Island, but I don't. Apparently Adam Mair has a bad knee, so Craig Rivet was only coming to his defense by jumping into the fight with Nate Thompson. That's a dog shit move, even if Mair was hurt. (hey, can't every team afford to dress players and have them sit on the bench like Ricky?) But that's Sabres hockey. Horseshit.

Classy stuff from Kaleta, too, but who really cares? The Isles were so bad they didn't even earn the right, in my book, to fight. We know they're going to be terrible some nights and look like world-beaters the next, but this was a little bit too much of a circus for me. Of course, it doesn't really compare to the idiot's circus Gordon and Snow are running with DiPietro, Martinek, and whoever else might be hurt. I'm with Botta at Point Blank, and I've written about it before, this dumb game Snow is playing with injuries and now DiPietro makes this team a joke.

Where have you gone, respectable PR department?

The Isles, who are often times innovative and interesting in terms of publicity, are absolutely turning the PR aspect of this organization into a disaster. Today on the oh!fficial Isles site, there is no mention of yesterday's game in the main story bar. That's fucking childish. "Fun Filled Day at the Coliseum" is what passes for this organization's game story.

I can handle the losing. I can handle the coaching carousel, and whatever other indignities the organization will cook up in the next few years. But putting on a petulant, arrogant, smarmy public face pisses me off. Tell us who the fuck is hurt. Write game stories when the team loses.

Join the NHL. Act like a major league team.

Jesus Christ, and I'm a Mets fan too. My wife wonders why I play video games ... .

How Do You Make a Columbus Day of SGML Coding and Stomach Pain Worse?

2008-10-13T16:31:00.004-04:00

You listen to Rick Jeanneret do his spastic goal calls six times, missing one due to your stomach graciously beckoning you to the office bathroom.

It will be a long season. We all knew that, particularly when we found out that Deb Kaufman (I will not recognize her married name) would be off the Isles telecasts. It just would've been nice if the Isles could've made it at least five games in before delivering an effort in which, if my listening skills are sharp, everything done falled apart. Sigh.

Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz!

quick thoughts on opening night

2008-10-10T21:32:00.004-04:00

They don't look that bad, but I just don't see where any goals are going to come from other than lucky bounces and drunk goalies. Some of that, I think, is because right now the young guys look as if they are primarily mentally occupied with being in the right place and not fucking up. Fine.

My hope is that in a few months they feel comfortable in the system (which did, on the few occasions it really fired, look promising) and start feeling the game rather than feeling the system.

MacDonald was great. He looked comfortable, which is a good sign, because by November he could be the number one.

They miss Sillinger. And they miss Guerin. (oh yeah, he was there. sure.)

One final thought: The officiating in this game was awful. Awful. Awful. Both ways. Jesus Christ I hope they don't keep this shit up for the season. These calls are just phantom calls. I hate this "stick is in a certain position means hooking" nonsense. That logic doesn't even fly in basketball.

Ok. Done.

Streit is nice on the powerplay. He makes a noticeable difference keeping the puck in the zone and making sound decisions.

That's all I've got for now. Those last 30 seconds were pretty exciting. Brodeur is good. Whew.

Now, call up Mitch.

Economy on Ice

2008-10-09T09:35:00.010-04:00

Ice time is expensive. And ice time with sticks and pucks and mountains of reinforced Kevlar gear, especially here in the States, is even more expensive.

There's an intern in our athletics department who played for St. Catharines, and in the OHL (Mississauga, I believe). He said he almost played in Buffalo for a year, but "they wanted me to pay them like $10,000 to play, and I had to buy my own equipment." Fuck the heck?

I have an ethereal embedded mental concept of money, but I do read kunstler.com every day it is updated, and a few other links that spring from there, and I have eyes and ears, so I know we are possibly, completely financially toe-tagged as a country, as a hemisphere, and maybe as a world. That's why I'm planting a giant garden next year, learning to hunt, buying a horse, and building a still in the basement of my 178-year-old house, which actually was home to a functioning basement still during Prohibition.

And I don't know what this means for hockey. Forbes thinks it do. (thanks to Puck Daddy for picking this up this morning.) At least for a few hockey teams, the magazine thinks the recession/depression/biblical catasrophe means emminent relocation.

Now, sit down for a moment, preferably not in a rocking chair, because ... yes ... the Islanders are amongst the doomed.

If the Lighthouse Project goes through, it's very possible the Islanders would be off of this list. I'm tempted, largely because I read kunstler.com every day it is updated, to suggest that the suburban concept of Long Island Living might suffer greatly in this financial crisis, but that kind of thought is way beyond my scope. I do know the Lighthouse idea fits it with some of the concepts of post-suburban devlopment (I'm completely making that up to appear to be smarter than I am), but it's overall location might be a strain. (no trains lead up to the site - but that might be rectified.)

If Long Island suffers greatly, the Islanders suffer. But, I'm not sure if everyone is suffering so badly that relocation would even be possible. Who's going to buy a hockey team in a depression? The same investors who were going to buy the Chiefs? In short, if Forbes thinks it has some window on the future that will help them understand the larger ramifications of a massive financial collapse that appears to be in "phase change" right now (I can read!), they actually are much dumber than I am, because at least I can admit I don't know a fucking thing. Now, go read The Black Swan.

What about the kids?

As much as I enjoy the Islanders and all of the misery that implies, my understanding of NHL finances is so limited my thoughts on the topic are as meaningful as a piss in the ocean. But, I do have a pretty good grasp of what it's like to live on a short budget, with kids, and with kids you'd like to see on skates someday. This Thing is going to have a great effect on youth hockey in this country, I foolishly predict.

1. Ice time is expensive.

2. Driving to fucking Detroit or Ottawa every week with cars carrying two or three nine-year-olds because adults are crazy is expensive.

3. Composite sticks are expensive. (And if you can tell me why anyone playing at any level below the NHL or at least major junior needs a $100 hockey stick, I will listen, and then throw up on you.)

Hockey has always been a middle-class game, even in Canada where teams essentially are subsidized. (think of football. would it be the National Game if kids had to pay for equipment and field time?) And that is pronounced in America. As the middle class gets pinched and choked, the luxuries get pinched and cut.

I don't know that it is a bad thing. Local programs might actually get a boost if travel hockey is cut down to size. Kids whose parents aren't angling for a scholarship might actually stick with hockey past the age of 9, when, insanely, dumbass-crazy adults start making levels out of travel teams.

It might shrink, the whole thing. Southern hockey might suffer. It might once again be a very specifically regional game. I think that's Ok. (and I am not one to slag hockey fans in Florida because "they don't know the game" or some horseshit, as if this is such a complicated game you couldn't possibly grasp the nuances without having watched Don Cherry every Saturday since you were four.)

In the end, our immediate worlds might get a lot more simple and localized in the coming years. Hockey might do the same.

Mediocre the Magnificent Throws His Turban in the Ring

2008-10-08T09:41:00.009-04:00

Carnac attempts to predict Georges Laraque's PIMs

Anyone who knows me or who has seen college videos of me knows I love to make an ass of myself and with that, I bring you my 08-09 season predictions!

Armed with a basic knowledge of spreadsheet programs, Yahoo’s NHL page, a six-sided die and a quarter, I entertained myself during the debate trying to find the dumbest way to predict the NHL’s standings for the upcoming season. Mission F-ing accomplished. I took it upon myself to meticulously chart every NHL team’s post season performance since the lockout. Of the many things I learned, it turns out when you plot 30 separate data sets it makes the graph look like a wild, colorful spider web. I personally think spiders are freaky. I almost dropped a load in my shorts a few years back when a spider the size of my big toe was defying gravity about three feet above my bed. I saw a tarantula the other day at this weird conference I went to and I’ve got to say that it’s a really boring animal. What the hell was I talking about…

I weighted each team depending on their performance in the post season then used the dice and coin to settle any ties. If I was smart I would have used the regular season standings since that is what I was trying to predict but smart = uninteresting as far as I’m concerned so lets keep rolling. I decided to put my predictions to the test and take on San Francisco hockey elitist Ross McKeon’s predictions… Ok, his was the first standings projection I came across that wasn’t friend-of-the-Palm-Isle Puckdaddy’s. Truth is, I don’t really know much about McKeon and this blog is in no position to pick a fight. Sorry for the whole ‘elitist’ comment… Visit Ross’s page here.

On to the predictions!

Mediocre One’s Ross McKeon’s

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division
Pittsburgh Penguins Philadelphia Flyers
New York Rangers Pittsburgh Penguins
New Jersey Devils New York Rangers
Philadelphia Flyers New Jersey Devils
New York Islanders New York Islanders

Northeast Division
Ottawa Senators Montreal Canadians
Buffalo Sabres Ottawa Senators
Montreal Canadians Boston Bruins
Boston Bruins Buffalo Sabres
Toronto Maple Leafs Toronto Maple Leafs

Southeast Division
Carolina Hurricanes Washington Capitals
Tampa Bay Lightning Carolina Hurricanes
Atlanta Thrashers Tampa Bay Lightning
Washington Capitals Atlanta Thrashers
Florida Panthers Florida Panthers

Western Conference

Central Division
Detroit Red Wings Detroit Red Wings
Nashville Predators Chicago Blackhawks
Chicago Blackhawks Columbus Blue Jackets
St. Louis Blues Nashville Predators
Columbus Blue Jackets St. Louis Blues

Northwest Division
Calgary Flames Calgary Flames
Colorado Avalanche Edmonton Oilers
Edmonton Oilers Colorado Avalanche
Minnesota Wild Minnesota Wild
Vancouver Canucks Vancouver Canucks

Pacific Division
Anaheim Ducks San Jose Sharks
San Jose Sharks Dallas Stars
Dallas Stars Anaheim Ducks
Los Angeles Kings Phoenix Coyotes
Phoenix Coyotes Los Angeles Kings

Now, the truth is I hate predictions. Anyone doing a prediction (and taking it seriously, I might add) should have some stake in their prediction. The Sports Network (TSN) predicted that Ovechkin would be 5th in scoring with 50 goals. Turns out he was 1st with 65. That’s a pretty big swing, 15 goals, so what’s the sense in trying to guess if it’s obviously too hard? I’ve never seen accurate predictions so if some web site wants to predict stats and mess up my fantasy draft they should at least have the stones to write a big article at the end of the season and grade their projections as well as remind us at the beginning of the following season.

Then other people go too far in the opposite direction. I watched the NHL network’s preview of the Western conference and you’d think every team in the West is going to win the Cup this year. Say something negative, I’m begging you (Gary Green...). Yes, every team in the NHL is talented on some level but that doesn’t do anyone any good. Give us a simple “headed in the right direction” or “headed in the wrong direction” and back it up with some substance that goes beyond the moronic obvious observations which are all-too prevalent amongst hockey commentators. In fact, the following phrase should be banned: “…has a good relationship with the coach.” 99% of players have a good relationship with the coach so let’s can the heavy stuff. Everyone in the NHL wants to win but it’s a matter of who is on a team and the team’s overall strategy that affects 95% of a games outcome according to a stat I invented to make my point.

Since it’s late and I think my point has drifted a bit I just want to say that someone has to hold commentators accountable for their predictions. And I’d like to take up that mantle. In the coming weeks, I’m going to collect different projections of standings and stats and grade them at the end of the season. My prediction is that it’s too hard to make predictions.

Random Thoughts a Few Days Before Opening Night

2008-10-07T22:04:00.004-04:00

*I have nothing against Seven Mary Three. In fact, until last week I couldn't tell you the last time I had a thought about them. But I do know their big hit is "Cumbersome." And that song's chorus declares, "I have become cumbersome to this world." So, all I'm saying is that they're not exactly the first band I'd want to charge up the opening night crowd if I owned a hockey team. But I don't own a hockey team. Charles Wang does. And so, get ready to rock to the sounds of Seven Mary Three, Islanders fans! And Seven Mary Three, get ready for a steady mix of hardcore apathy and unrelenting verbal abuse from the Coliseum faithful!

*There is no place of commerce more baffling than the NHL Store in NYC. First, it is almost impossible to buy a T-shirt in the store that costs less than $40, which is a hearty, Hollwegian check from behind on Joe Six-Pack (wink). Second, there is that monumentally stupid area devoted to Reebok sneakers. I understand that it is officially "The NHL Store Powered by Reebok," but, really, who's coming to the NHL Store to buy a pair of sneakers? Couldn't that space be better used? And that brings me to my next point: how is it possible that the official store of the National Hockey League does not have a constant supply of winter hats in stock? Granted, we are not yet officially in wool hat weather, but, last I heard, hockey's a cold-weather sport. So wouldn't it make sense to have, you know, a few winter hats available for hockey fans? Is that a crazy idea? There isn't one in the whole store. Unbelievable. Finally, the NHL Store is having a big party to kick the season off. And what's the best time to have that party so that hard-working hockey fans can attend? That's right, Friday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Perfect. Also, I was in there tonight and there was absolutely no indication that there'd be any sort of party on Friday. Good job with the advance promo. What a waste.

*Speaking of wastes, Sirius is currently airing a commercial urging Sirius subscribers to get the new "Best of XM" package that features Captain Excitement Gary Bettman pushing the NHL on XM and highlighting his own weekly show as a reason to add the channel. I can't think of a worse marketing campaign.

*Kudos to the Islanders off-ice team yet again for their wide variety of ticket packages available this year. I do take issue, however, with the Victory Plan, a four-game package in which you get one free game for each Islanders win, thus potentially making it an eight-game package. In theory, a great idea. In practice, it finds a way to make me even angrier at the Islanders for losing. Now, when (OK, OK, if) they lose, they're kind of stealing money from me. That'll perk me up while I'm taking the bus to the train to another train to my apartment in my two-hour-plus odyssey from the Coliseum to Jersey City. Thanks, guys! I have been patiently waiting for an addendum to the Victory Plan that would ensure my involvement. I would be willing to buy into a plan, where, if the Islanders lose, I get a free room at the Marriott, Charles Wang calls in to work for me, and one or two Ice Girls visit for a postgame cheer-up session. Just an idea.

*Mitch Fritz starts the season in Bridgeport. Connecticut, here I come!

The Sounds of Bliss

2008-10-03T14:44:00.010-04:00

(painting by William Roy Brownridge)

This may be the ideal season to be gauging the Isles' progress by the tenor of the radio announcers' voices rather than by the sights and hollow sounds projected by my television.

The mistakes on ice, neatly summarized by the shifting of names, rather than by the visual evidence, will be easier to take. And the feats of the young players will get a lustrous halo.

It is ground well-covered by writers, but there is something to the glamour of sports in my childhood. One televised game each week, and the radio companion for weeknights, was not preferable in the most direct sense, but it did serve to build the legend. That could also be childhood delusion via memory at play, or simply age, as I got so jittery and irritated playing NHL 09 and then watching that ridiculous debate last night I went to bed and read a book about Bobby Orr. And I was happier, and calm, and settled.

Draftnik
The Federal League, our version of fantasy hockey, drafts tonight. I am ill-prepared. But that same strategy of ignorance to the narrative helped me win a baseball league this year. (don't tell me baseball is much easier to discern from the numbers column ... I know.) My team is "Poodle" (see: Slap Shot), but I think I might have to come up with something more clever, although I am beginning to detest anything clever largely as a result of reading too much Internet. I had one team named "PIMs Win Cups," which I used in a league in which I was lectured after complaining about the absence of PIMs on the stat chart.

So it might just be Poodle.

I can't think of an Islander worth drafting high. DiPietro might make a good late-round pickup. Or Steit, I guess. I would be wary of his plus/minus, whatever the points. (Save the lectures on the meaningless nature of this stat. I know. And, it's fantasy, a crucial point being that it is not real.) And I'm not big on drafting defensemen.

I'm also not big on drafting good hockey players, but that is a story for another time.

A Few Words concerning NHL 09
NHL 09 isn't frustrating just me, if the Internet forums are any indication of the wider opinion. It just feels awkward, which isn't necessarily a tangible thing, but it is there. I feel as if the players often are compelled to turn the wrong way, whatever tricks of "vision control" I try.

Most importantly, the goal scoring feels like a chore, and doesn't have the sort of "anything can happen" vibe I would like to see. This isn't a problem on the "pro" level. But if you've played this game much during the past two years, pro isn't a challenge. On all-star the whole thing feels like a chore.

A lack of penalties called, especially against the CPU, is another significant problem. I suspect this may be addressed in a patch, as the EA Vancouver team has been exceptional at addressing issues. And, I felt much the same about 08 as I feel now about 09 prior to one patch and a few roster updates that largely dealt with the most prevalent issues in the game. For now, I practice a bit and hold out on a franchise.

Lying About Injuries is Dumb (except when it is smart because the league allows it)
This business of not telling anyone about injuries in the NHL is stupid and cynical. This isn't the fucking pre-cursor to Desert Storm, or whatever. It's a hockey team. Someone in Toronto needs to step in, set a league standard, and enforce the standard. GMs look like clowns playing this dumb game with reporters.

Ticket holders and Centre Ice subscribers have a right to know as paying customers what kind of product they will see on the ice, in general. Sure, the coach is going to sit people, etc. But this gives a shabby, amateur appearance to the league. And Garth Snow is one of the most consistent and smarmy offenders.

The onus is on the league, because the present situation only gives GMs incentive to lie, as they can prevent other teams from fully understanding their roster situations in trade/waiver deals, thus protecting their leverage, so to speak.

It might work for the teams, but it doesn't work for the fans. And the fans are ... oh yeah ... I forgot. Well, we can always go fuck ourselves.

Mitch Fritz! (Clap! Clap!) Mitch Fritz!

2008-10-01T23:11:00.003-04:00

I will admit that I know precious little about Mitch Fritz. In fact, up until about two days ago, I had no idea he was with the Islanders. But the combination of his stature (6'8"), past success in amassing penalty minutes (a total of 355 in 2001-02), and the undeniable chantability of his name has me rooting hard for him to make the team (despite the fact that he played for the Wolfpack last year). There are, of course, a few tough guys on the Isles (though I must admit that Brendan Witt's toughness took a hit for me when I saw that video of him making out with his bird on Islanders TV), but they're missing a guy like Fritz—or at least a guy like Fritz seems to be. I say take a chance on keeping him around, or at least bring him up for Rangerks games.

Plus, you've gotta love a guy whose first Google hit is a video of him housing Colton Orr.

The Fantasy Champ

2008-09-30T23:24:00.002-04:00

I won my (our) fantasy championship last year after years of disappointment and frustration. It took a lot of effort and time and was completely unfulfilling. However, if anyone out there is still trying to win their fantasy league, here are some tips I wrote last season and would like to pass on to you for the upcoming season:

Fantasy Hockey: Let’s talk about it. I won last year’s league which pretty much makes me a fantasy expert. I thought that I could shed some pearls of wisdom which should keep me from discussing the state of hockey on Long Island.

One: Divorce your wife, break up with your girlfriend(s), and disown your children. Quit your job, sell your home, move in with a family member.

Two: Do some research. You want to get the most points you can get out of every draft pick. F-ing duh, right? Well, you’ve got to get equal or more value compared to the other players being drafted and name recognition can really cloud your judgment. I used to be tempted by people who were good in EA Sports’ NHL 95 too, but last year I hadn’t even heard of most of my players before I did some reading. It’s all about trying to find breakout years. In short, don’t draft Rangers.

Three: Don’t sit on your laurels. And I’m going to skip the obvious “I don’t even know what a laurel is” joke. People seem to go with the “don’t fix what’s not broken” approach which is wrong. There’s no way to check, but I’m positive that point production from all the teams increases over the course of the season so a good team at the beginning of the year may not actually fall in production, but as everyone else trims the fat, the pack catches up. Just make sure that if you’re going to pickup, drop, then pickup the same player, don’t do it all in one night. HOO! Lookout, inside joke coming through…

Four: If your goalie wasn’t drafted by the New York Islanders, than there’s no guarantees. If you think I’m being too kind to the Islander’s, read my other blog entries. Goalies are temperamental and I can’t think of a funny simile, but they are. Plan on picking up a good goaltender off the FA list in the first month. Osgood, Leclaire, Thomas, and Gerber were all sitting on the FA at the start of the season last year . Draft picks are valuable so you’re better off going after skaters who are much more reliable season to season even if it means you struggle for a few weeks with a crappy second goalie. And for feck’s sake, don’t draft more goalies than you can start at one time.

Five: No extra points for being a defenseman. Nick Lidstrom is a god. A hockey god. There’s rarely a ‘god’ category, though, so if he scores 60 points a season, you get 60 points. Draft a forward who scores 80 unless you get wet for plus/minus like I do.

Six: And now watch as I contradict myself; Go for the name recognition off the FA list. If you need some goals and everyone on the FA list sucks, pickup someone who’s been to an all-star game even if it was a hundred years ago. I fell for some rookies who had a hot month and ended up dropping them faster than Matt gave up on this blog. Hejduk had a slow start and I picked him in time to benefit from a six-point night. Bertuzzi was a similar story. I missed grabbing Recchi who got hotter than my sack in August.

Well, that’s it. My team should be vying for last place by the end of October. “Fenian Brotherhood, 2003 Champions” shirts still available.

Hanging up the Blades and Retiring the Axe

2008-09-30T23:00:00.004-04:00

A lot of people have talked about how Paul Newman was a fantastic actor and an even better person so I won't rehash any of that here on the blog as true as it is. I'll just make one request--if you've never watched Slap Shot with special attention paid to Reggie Dunlop then you should. Everyone loves the Hanson Brothers, but until you're effortlessly swapping Reg Dunlop lines with your friends, you haven't watched the movie enough.

R.I.P. Reggie Dunlop and Paul Newman

2008-09-27T10:48:00.005-04:00

Our college floor hockey team was called the Charlestown Chiefs. We still talk about "the Chiefs" getting together when my old college friends call.

We love Slap Shot. This isn't unique to hockey fans. I am from Binghamton and live near Syracuse. I've worked with countless people who tell stories of seeing Paul Newman during the filming of Slap Shot in the area.

We love Reggie Dunlop, and we love that real movie fans know this role represented a major turning point for his career. Paul Newman was no longer just good looking. Reggie Dunlop is an underrated performance, often overshadowed by the schtick of the Hanson Brothers.

And we love Paul Newman. The Sting, Nobody's Fool, that list goes on for a long time. We drank some of his Newman's Own coffee this morning, not knowing.

I don't usually get too worked up when celebrities die, because I don't know them. But Paul Newman reminded me enough of some of the important people in my life that I feel this one.

My facebook update said Thursday morning, for no particular reason other than I was thinking about hockey, "Bryan wants to thank Reg Dunlop. So, thank you."

Now it says, "Bryan wants to thank Reg Dunlop. And Paul Newman. We'll miss you."

Optimism's for the weak

2008-09-26T09:21:00.004-04:00

Early prediction: This quote from Scott Gordon after last night's Isles-Flyers exhibition game will be repeated almost word for word at least 47 times this season:

"I thought we had a great first 15 minutes," said Head Coach Scott Gordon. "Then we stopped skating in the last five minutes. In the second period, we didn't come close to approaching what we did at the beginning of the first period. In the third we got it back. The second period was the only downside of the game. We generated some scoring chances. We gave more chances than I would have liked in the crucial areas. Tonight we played with a bit younger lineup and their top six forwards were pretty good."

hey, are we playing hockey here? (a treatise)

2008-09-24T08:22:00.016-04:00

It isn't 70+ degrees at night anymore up here in the coyote-infested wilds of the New York state (a new, coy way of authors telling the world they are hip enough to inhabit the same legal borders as the New York City, but grounded and rustic enough to live amongst the dogs and pigs and be-hatted gents sprouting Palin-induced boners and chaw stains), and we are finally feeling hockey, blowing two-months' worth of dust off of the Slap Shot DVD case, downloading Leo Sayer songs, buying the children 9" CCM gloves because they are finally big enough in the hands to justify the purchase, and, in general, feeling a little bit alive, centered, and hockey-ready after a long year that saw The Rev. Zamboni successfully (so far) deal with a troublesome problem-drinking issue, general malaise (boo hoo), and a move further into the snow belt of Upstate New York, which is the proper damn name and punctuation for the region, copy-editing pontifications on capitalization be damned.

The Zamboni Family caravan recently emptied its contents in Tully, New York, bringing The Reverend closer to the ball hockey paradise that is his community college of employ, closer to the War Memorial in Syracuse (Slap Shot fans will recognize the importance), and closer to the kind of oppressive winters that bring a smile to The Reverend's face and draw sneers from co-workers and acquaintances when their warnings about "that awful tunnel of snow on I-81" are met with a grin and "I'm looking forward to it. I hate this 70-in-September shit."

I hope to not be eating these words in a snowbank on the highway this winter, watching one of those G.O.D. tractor-trailers bearing down on the black commuter Zamboni model, but it's a cosmic chance I am willing to risk if the payoff is snow and ice and clean air.

Song break
I am determined to make the Beastie Boys' "Intergalactic" the goal song of choice at some hockey rink this winter, if only at the Coliseum's NHL 09 doppelganger. I am playing it now for some energy, and the Zamboni brothers, all four years of them combined (and one of them having recently dropped a bomb in his diaper), are break dancing ("great dancing" they call it) on the cheap Asian rug. And the soon-to-be two-year-old just served two minutes in the box for putting hands in poopy diaper. Bad penalty.

The Islanders
I see a Rangers' fan Facebook update, "excited to relax, settle in, and watch some hockey tonight. Pre-season hockey, but it works." Or something to that effect. It breaks my heart a little, because I still have not solved my "how to watch hockey" problem. We are stuck with channels 2-23, which is plenty good for sating my thirst for football this year (goes in cycles), but all but useless for hockey. Even the Time Warner Sports channel that seems like it might show Crunch games is beyond my purview. (it's make me feel dumb even typing "Crunch." Someone should be stripped naked and thrown on the ice for that one.)

I like the reports from camp, all of the "overspeed" stuff, Oh!poso on camera, and the surprising and wonderful commitment from Newsday to continue and even expand coverage. And Scott Gordon canceling scrimmages, which I don't understand, but I like, for some reason. Good to hear the usual nonsense about a first-round draft pick playing well (good for the OHL, I guess), and good to see a few new hats in the Lids.com bin for the Isles. Otherwise, I am guessing this might be the year of hockey as it lives in the corners of my life, and you will need to rely on the other of the Palm Isles' denizens for your seeing-eye updates.

The Issue of Youth Hockey
The oldest will be old enough to begin playing next year. He'll need some learn-to-skate sessions, and then some "which handed are you?" clarifications, but otherwise he seems excited about the whole prospect of being on skates and getting to wear a helmet (the best part). I don't have the "kids make up for your athletic shortcomings" gene, although I do believe in getting them involved in a wide range of activities, even against their budding wills. There will be some sports, some music, and some other things mom will organize. There will be time in the distant future for deciding upon genuine interests and talents. In the meantime, we sample.

I did not play hockey as a child. Growing up in what is now called the Greater Binghamton Area, and was then called Binghamton, hockey was a popular spectator sport, but limited in its youth offerings. To get involved in true ice hockey in Binghamton you needed money, a parent who was interested in searching around and finding hockey, and then, more money. Despite the number of hockey fans in the area, most of them had become hockey fans with either the Broome Dusters in the 70s or the Whalers in the 80s, which meant very few of the parents of my parents generation had played hockey as children. Thus, we played basketball, and street hockey (driveway hockey) in the neighbourhoods.

I learned to skate (let's use the term loosely) my freshman year of college. I learned on roller blades, and although I can make it around a rink a few times without serious injury, never really translated that skill to the ice. It is a shame, and one I hope to rectify in the next few years. In hockey I found not only the sport I love beyond all others, but also a sport in which my temperament (lousy), athletic ability, and sensibility fit perfectly. I will be visited by friends this weekend whom I have known since I was 17 years old. Friends I met in some ways through hockey, or friends with whom hockey is a common, binding thread. Friends who were in my wedding. Friends who have watched me pout and moan and whine like a child and have forgiven me, friends who have seen me do worse and forgiven me, friends who have seen me in my best moments, and have forgiven me yet again. And I think three of them can skate on ice.

Hockey is no replacement for the most important bonds, but it is an undercurrent and a base.

And I want my kids to have the opportunity to experience that kind of feeling, but also to experience the feeling of flying down the ice (real ice, real skates, etc.), pulling the puck to the forehand and driving the net, whatever the result. But I also don't want to drive to Detroit every weekend for tournaments against six-year-olds.

Youth hockey has lost its mind in this country, partly thanks to the pressure of competing with the Canadian system, partly because adults are insane. Imagine a schedule as concocted by seven-year-olds, "first, we play at the tennis court in Rec Park. Call Jimmy and make sure his mom knows we'll be there, she'll make hot chocolate. Next, we play in Tim's attic with the Nerf balls and mini-sticks. Then, we finish in my driveway because the plow will have come by and we'll have that awesome snow bank again ... ."

I'll leave you on that high note.

Late addition: I am reading, "Searching for Bobby Orr." Pretty weak title, but it seems very good thus far. I'll keep you posted.

Bird Dogging

2008-09-10T09:56:00.006-04:00

Courtesies of Puck Daddy comes this.

Dustin Brown, featured prominently in the post, is an Ithaca-area native. And since three of the Palm Isle's denizens are Ithaca College alums (or near-alums, cough cough), and The Rev. recently worked in Ithaca and remains in the general vicinity ...

we salute. All indications from local hockey types and former hockey parents are that "Brownie" is a decent guy, although he was good enough at an early enough age he didn't spend much of his adolescence in the area. And, he fight.

Ithaca and Syracuse churn out a few decent big-timers every few years. Next up is this kid. A local hockey parent I see at work told me Iles is the complete package, and another hockey family told me about their nine-year-old being in awe of him at this summer's Empire State Games (by all accounts he's another in a long line of humble, decent hockey kids). He's not huge (NHL goalie pad sizing rules, I'm guessing, are a topic of discussion in this household), but he's apparently pretty finished and has the composure.

Ok. A couple more paragraphs and I'm going to feel like an AAU basketball coach. Off to find NHL 09 ... .

Watching the NHL with the third eye, Vol. II

2008-09-09T09:18:00.006-04:00

This is the year without cable.

School librarian and budding independent photographer The Upstate Ice Girl will be home with the children this season, wearing her apron and (unbeknownst to her, but hey!, that's what Christmas is for ...) her ice girl outfit, while I grind away at the local community college, tracking down errant commas and style infringements. This decision results in a significant decrease in our income, and although we have an apple tree in our new yard, conventionally purchased groceries and other necessities will take precedence over the NHL Network and the 24 Islanders games not broadcast on Staten-Island exclusive Metro 3, or whatever becomes the Isles' home when Siena is playing Hofstra in men's volleyball (live!).

This could be catastrophic, but I live a well-sated hockey life, for the most part. There is the weekly ball hockey game. There is blogging (guess I'll be doing more of that), and reading blogs. There is the 25th anniversary copy of Slap Shot, calling my name as the wind changes and the leaves brighten. And there is NHL 09. (which I will try to locate today, but probably won't locate until tomorrow, at which time you will find a full review in this space.)

But I still want to watch the Islanders. (hold your applause fellow Islanders fans. cut the laugh track NHL press.)

Looked into Center Ice Online. I know there are blackout restrictions within range of local broadcasts. I can't find a map of said restrictions (or a guide/table/spreadsheet) on the web site. Fair enough. I figure I'll go through the first few steps of account creation, see if I can find the blackout information, then get the Ice Girl on the phone for help in the decision-making process. (goes something like this: I sold my guitar/your camera/one of the children -- for a fair price -- can I get hockey on the computer?)

"Center Ice Online can not be accessed from within your broadcast region."

Mother. F.

I know, as a formerly mediocre and passive newspaper reporter, I could get some background on this and discover the real reason I can't pay someone to watch hockey on the computer. Too hard. I'll chalk it up to evil evil evil Time Warner and what I will suspect is some ridiculous ploy to get me to buy something other than the $7.34/month 2-13 service that will bring me five games (go Pens! go Wings!) on NBC this season.

Concessions

1. The first time I saw hockey on television I'm pretty sure Tom Mees was broadcasting a Whalers/Bruins game. I have fond memories of Tom Mees, if only because he didn't tell any jokes. You can watch more hockey now than ever before. I know this. Even Vs.

2. What with all of the other media options out there, including listening to Isles' game on web radio (thank you thank you thank you for not getting so goddamn greedy I have to pay for out-of-market streaming radio like baseball or football), I can stay abreast of developments. I would say I could also go to a bar and watch the game, but I'm liable to drop a season's worth of cable fees in a bar session, and let's say "I'm working on that this year."

3. The NHL Network, which I will get next year, is pretty good. Thanks. Whomever.

Here it is: The Islanders are getting pretty good at innovating and understanding new technologies. They're offering interesting tickets packages, great online features, and I'm guessing the trend will continue. The league needs to catch up. It's not a dire situation. I can find hockey, you can find hockey, and there's a certain sense in directing the game's die-hard fans to open their wallets for what they want.

But it's my job to bitch and moan, because I do it well. Let's get that Center Ice Online up here in the wilds of Central New York. And if you can't, I don't want to see any men in suits at my door when I find a P2P site to watch me Isles. I'll buy a hat, I promise, and we'll call it even.

What's a Canadian farmboy to do?

2008-09-07T13:58:00.003-04:00

The great Warren Zevon died five years ago today. Before he left, he produced what may be the best hockey song ever. Thanks, Warren.

And here's to you, Mick Vukota and Ken Baumgartner.

Back in the New York groove

2008-09-04T21:33:00.002-04:00

We hope that you have enjoyed our simulation of the New York Islanders, wherein we built momentum and got your hopes up with some strong work and then pissed away the momentum by descending into a vast pit of laziness. Just know that we completely planned it that way and the month-plus without posts should not be seen as complete and utter apathy on our part but a brilliant, lifelike recreation of what it is to love the Islanders.

In any case, we'll get back to talking all things Islander soon. But first I thought I'd point out a hockey-related thing we can all get behind, whether we have kids or pets or neither. Sorry, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to reference Casey Kasem. Onto the serious stuff...

Kelly Buchanan is a NYC musician who suffered brain damage after being struck in the head by a street hockey ball while playing in Brooklyn. The injury, first assumed to be not so bad, eventually devolved into something very bad indeed. Debilitating headaches, vertigo, nausea, and some other not-so-great side effects came to visit Buchanan and now she can only walk with the use of a cane. Her doctor thinks she may have suffered permanent cognitive brain damage, but, by her own account, Buchanan remains upbeat and hopes to soon be able to walk without a cane and, indeed, play hockey (and music) again.

So, what does all this mean to you? First, wear a helmet. Just because it's a plastic ball doesn't mean it can't mess you up royally. Second, if you have some extra dough floating around, you could help Buchanan pay her medical bills by:

(a) buying her new CD, which she had hoped to release and play behind prior to the accident, here.

(b) donating some cash to her via the link here.

(c) buying a ticket to see members of Fountains of Wayne, Nada Surf, the Spin Doctors, and others at a benefit for Buchanan at the Knitting Factory in NYC on Wednesday, September 10. Tickets ($25) available here.

I don't know Buchanan at all, but I'm guessing that it sucks to have your life changed forever by a street hockey ball. I'm hoping you think the same. So if you can help, please do.

Supporting Argument

2008-07-28T10:43:00.001-04:00

The end is near

2008-07-27T20:18:00.004-04:00

The daylong portentous clouds and accompanying apocalyptic weather in the NYC area made total sense after I read today's New York Post. Because for the first time in a long, long time (ever?), I kind of agree with Larry Brooks here. We are clearly in the end times.

Amidst the usual DiPietro deriding and general bashing of the Isles, Brooks actually makes some (hard to type this, hard to type this) good points. Trots has been working with the kids for the last few years and seems to be the type of guy who relishes the opportunity to shepherd a young team (although based on his infamous lengthy letter that earned him the Rangers' head coaching job, he seemingly relishes any opportunity to coach). Plus, he meshes with Wang's vision to honor the legacy of the franchise and also seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't be driven batshit crazy by the Wang "coaching by committee" system that would likely rankle already established coaches like Maurice, Tortorella, and Hartley. And, for the record (are you really keeping a record?...shame on you), I would prefer Goring but I can't imagine him not killing someone about three months into the Wang system. I'd be happy to be proven wrong, though. Or proven right depending on who he kills.

So, yeah, I think either Trottier or Goring is the way to go (though I pray they don't even consider Ulf Samuelsson for a minute...what a douche).

I would, however, be lying if I said that I wouldn't enjoy having a guy who knows to handle Larry Brooks behind the Isles' bench (some language NSFW, in case the context clues didn't tip you off).

Now We're Up in the Big Leagues....

2008-07-23T00:59:00.002-04:00

So here it is, I finally made it. Much thanks to the Rev. Zamboni and The Mediocre One for bringing me into the blogging family. Now here's hoping that I don't have to don a Ziggy Palffy Gorton's fisherman jersey and do the Truffle Shuffle as some sort of initiation.....

I am a sucker for the hype

2008-07-21T10:21:00.003-04:00

Just finished reading the third or fourth "Bailey to Oh!poso" story of the past week, and it led to me scrolling through the photo galleries from prospects camp and wishing I could have been on the Island, and not stuck Upstate, at least for a week.

In today's lead story on newyorkislanders.com, Bailey talks about finding more to like about Long Island than he might have expected. I know next to nothing about the Island, other than what I see from the passenger seats of the Mediocre One's Ford Focus of the Month, but I know it sure as hell looks like a nice place for people with money. I lived on Martha's Vineyard for a year as a broke newspaper reporter, and there is an ethereal ($.05) feeling you get driving along the ocean all year. Show these kids the fog rolling in, let them smell Oyster Bay, and drink a few fruity something or others with the good, tanned, wealthy women of the City Area, and I think you can keep them around a bit.

Canada is fun. But the beach is funner. Even in the winter.

Why we (I) root

I can handle 30-win seasons. I can handle Tim Connolly and Deno Chara winning 14, or whatever they won that year they played together. I saw them win in the Boston TD Banknorth M&T HSBC CitiBank Dukes County Savings Bank Garden, and it made the season for me. And had the Isles stuck with them, or at least Chara, we probably would have witnessed a similar playoff run(s), and I would have been satisfied.

I'm not going to be able the bring this one home, because I am distracted today, but: I am suckered in by the "Oh!poso and Bailey are nice guys" stories, I am suckered in by the Big Finnish Guy is Big and Finnish stories, and I am looking forward to seeing Brendan Witt, Sillinger, and even Mike "Where's Wade Redden?" Comrie on the ice with some new blood.

And for those of you asking if this truly is a "youth movement" because the veterans are still here? Oh!poso, Tambellini, Gervais, Campoli, Comeau, Nielsen (great deal there for the Isles ... Nielsen might want to check that his agent understands the difference between two and four ...), and Bergenheim. That's seven names. There's no official cutoff that I know of, so you can certainly argue both sides (although there are some famous names from our country's past who have argued effectively that there are no "both sides" anymore), but I'll take it.

Potential Crisis Looms

2008-07-16T21:45:00.003-04:00

Lost in the hubbub surrounding the Islanders saying ta-ta to Teddy was another potentially disastrous transaction involving a local hockey team. I am speaking of the Rangerks' decision to trade away Ryan Hollweg for a case of Molson Canadian and a half-dozen doughnuts from Tim Hortons.

Obviously, I do not mourn the departure of Cryin' Ryan, but I am slightly concerned about a situation this creates. With Hollweg, Avery, and Jagr now gone, who am I supposed to direct my unnecessarily loud "Douchebag!" toward while watching Islanders-Rangerks games next season? A quick look at the current Rangerks roster leaves the three most likely candidates as Lundqvist, Orr, and Gomez, but I'm having a hard time developing any really intense animosity toward any of those three (Lundqvist will be easiest). And while I certainly have a fair degree of hatred for anyone who puts on the Rangerks jersey, I'm missing someone whose mere presence on Earth makes me angry. Naturally, this has me concerned.

Far be it from me to tell Glen Sather how to run a team, but, really, hasn't Dale "Turtle Power" Purinton been away long enough? Fleury still in playing shape? C'mon, don't let me down.

We Got One.

2008-07-15T19:54:00.003-04:00

Feeling a bit like Janine in Ghostbusters ... we have reader(s).
At least for the day. And we thank the Puck Daddy for the mention.

To anyone who found us through PD, welcome.

Agreeing with IslandersArmy: Wang is the problem. The more Garth Snow you see, the more he seems to have some idea what it might take to win on the Island. But, as you noted, as soon as this plan gets ready for takeoff, Wang is likely to blow it up. He seems to approach the Islanders the way people with money to invest approach "emerging technologies." Increasing your chances for serendipity (I'm stealing here from The "makes me sound smart, but really, I read it on the shitter" Black Swan) is a nice idea for the middle rounds of the draft, but gets a little tougher when you're dealing with management positions.

And, the timing was lousy. Not Mets lousy, but not ideal. However, I don't how much the kids care. (For our other reader, I'm only counting Tambellini among the kids because he's younger than me, and played enough in Bridgeport that I still think of him as a prospect-type, whatever the bloodlines and eventual result ... .) I think of college as a place players go because of the coach. The NHL, you go because of the money and women. And girls.

Wherever the blame lies, lays, layed, laid, I am not yet in Hating This Fucking Team mode. That usually comes in January. Too many short shorts and off-the-shoulders tank tops out there right now. And we've just made it through Sunny Day 14 of 16 for the year here in the Upstate -- so I am feeling too good to pick this thing apart any further.

For now, let's go Oh!poso.

My patience with dumb Islanders bloggers and fans is wearing thin

2008-07-14T22:13:00.004-04:00

Ted Nolan is an excellent NHL coach? Really? Excellent?

1. He fucked up something and got booted out of Buffalo. Things turned out pretty well with Lindy Ruff at the helm.

2. He's "blackballed" for what seems like eternity, and returns to the Islanders, a team for which he had to know he wouldn't be icing a Stanley Cup contender in the near future. The team sneaks into the playoffs. Good coaching job? Sure. Excellent coaching job? No.

3. The Islanders finally realize they can't get the highest quality free agents to sign on the Island, a side effect of the new CBA. Some fans are happy when GM Garth Snow decides to pursue a rebuild and stock the team with prospects. (hey, got any worn out "used to be the backup goalie" jokes? Because I think there are a few guys coaching and serving as NHL GMs who used to fucking play. Sure, he had no experience. It's overrated. I mean it. And someday, I'll back that up with conveniently arranged evidence.)

The coach doesn't seem to buy into this.

Go to work tomorrow and tell your boss, his boss, or the president/CEO of the company you don't buy into their business/academic/corporate philosophy. Then tell a newspaper. See what happens.

Only Islanders fans (maybe the Leafs Nation too) could turn Ted Nolan into the NHL's most respected victim. His coaching resume is thin, and he has shown he cannot work with other people in the game. Mike Brophy is wrong. Islanders Army is wrong. Ted Nolan was not an excellent coach last year. And he wasn't the year before. He was a decent, serviceable coach. He played Andy Hilbert like he was Marian Hossa.

Yeah, Garth Snow hasn't given him the pieces he needs to compete for a Cup. Too fucking bad. That's why it's called a rebuild. Last year was a waiting year. The kids weren't ready for the NHL, so you sign cheap stop-gap veterans to fill the roster until the kids can come up -- maybe in the second half, maybe the next year. This year, you bring them up, find out who can play, sign them, then fill in your holes next year in free agency if you can. It's a simple formula. I'm glad Snow is sticking to it.

I am not confident it will result in something spectacular, but this plan is better than no plan, or Mike Milbury's plan.

But you cannot tell me this is some great loss. Peter Laviolette was a better coach.

Maybe this is a franchise in disarray (maybe not maybe, it is), but having the guts to get rid of someone who won't buy into the organizational philosophy is not your evidence. Now stop whining and be happy this team is trying something that appears to be a plan.

Newsday says Ted Nolan is gone

2008-07-14T12:37:00.002-04:00

Here.

Not much to add at this point.
I liked Ted Nolan with the Sabres. I liked him here, aside from minor quibbles.

But we all have people to whom we are accountable (take that grammar snobs). If you can't get along with them and work to see things their way -- you gone.

I don't think it's time to panic. I think Snow actually has a vision and is intent on sticking with it. And that's a start, whatever the vision.

Can't say I'd be happy to see Tortorella or Hartley here ... but Paul Maurice is available, eh?

I.C.E., I.C.E. Baby

2008-07-08T22:45:00.007-04:00

Went to the team store in Hicksville Tuesday night to get some autographs from Kyle Oh!kposo and Blake Comeau (The Mediocre One chose not to attend so he could play hockey...oooh, your desire to do something athletic is really impressive, Jack LaLanne). Pretty good crowd considering it's the middle of summer. It still wasn't a big enough crowd to turn people away, which would've been cool to see (though not so cool if it meant my trip to Hicksville was for nothing...not that a trip to Hicksville isn't always rewarding).

Still, I'm liking this I.C.E. Tour thing the Islanders are doing over the summer, taking players out to events in the community and keeping the team's name out there in the off-season. Even if the Lighthouse Project (the song on the website has to go) comes through—and it needs to—there still needs to be interest and, more important, some sort of investment from the local community in the team if the Islanders organization is to thrive. With the Dragons and the Long Island Ducks the only other pro sports teams on the Island (and I am using "pro" very loosely), there really is no reason that the Island shouldn't rally around the Isles. Of course, some playoff success will help that, but the community outreach done on the I.C.E. tour is perhaps even more important. It's much easier to root for guys when you see them at the local park or signing free autographs at the team store or when the team gives your kids a free hockey net. It's a simple thing, but, just like in the game itself, it's doing the simple things right that brings success. I'm not up on the community outreach that other NHL teams are doing, but it seems to me that the model the Islanders are using here could do wonders for teams around the league and the game as a whole. But what do I know?

Anyway, a tap of the stick to the I.C.E. Tour. Check out the full calendar here.

Good God, someone get drunk and write something

2008-07-03T10:08:00.005-04:00

First, kudos to us as we continue to labour on in obscurity. A few Isles blogs have kept up with the drip drip of Isles news, but most of that (Point Blank, which is fantastic, excluded -- but he's got a tit of an advantage, I'd say, having spent 20+ years in the organization) has been of the "repeating a news update you heard on TSN 20 minutes ago," or "beating TSN by 12 minutes because the guys on Islandermania had an inside source or something ... " variety.

Real insight seems in short supply.

Not that I can change that ... but at least I can write dirty words.

1. Did you hear (BREAKING NEWS!) the Isles signed Doug Weight? Oh, you did?

A big who cares? from me, but I think it's fine. He will likely show the younger Isles how to put that clear tape around the top of their socks, and will explain some of the subtleties of Slap Shot, and will likely serve as a fine second or third centreman (or fourth? with special PP duty?).

2. HNIC radio, last night featuring Elliotte Friedman and Jeff Marek, remarked on the Isles "lack of identity," spit out the usual pablum about free agents not wanting to live on Long Island, and said "it's a $75 cab ride to Manhattan." Well, it's more than that from fucking Newark you twats. (update: ok, turns out you can get a train from Newark to Manhattan. I live upstate in a neighborhood with bears and snow in May. Forgive me.) But, of course, they're right: Free agents don't want to play on Long Island. In other news ... .

3. The Islanders do, remarkable as it may seem, have an identity. And, if you'd pick up Newsday, or type in www.newsday.com/sports/hockey/islanders (which took me seven seconds), you'd know they are "going young" (uh, well, I'll let you write that joke), and filling in gaps with veterans who are supposedly good in the lockerroom and can tolerate living in Oyster Bay (I was there a few weeks ago with the esteemed Mediocre One, a native of the area, and if I were paid $3.5 million to copy edit publications and write 15 second radio ads, I could handle living in Oyster Bay over, let's say, Newark).

4. I'm going to say it again, this time to someone other than the Islanders stuffed monkey I bought my one-year-old: I am excited about this team even though I know they could lose 50 games. It's the principle of scalability, simplified because I only understand it simplified. The risk is low, the possible reward is high.

5. I haven't played in the weekly ball hockey game up here in about a month, and I miss it. I'm starting to get oddly pseudo-violent impulses at work and in social settings. I think I'll play next week ... .

Ok. Now somebody link to us.

Ding Dong, Avery's Gone!

2008-07-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

Yahoooooo! I'm not just happy that we Islanders no longer have to face scumbag numero uno, but it's a significant loss for the Rangers. When he was injured at the start of last season, the Rangers were lifeless. He really juiced them up when he was playing. No more! God I hope the Stars play the Rangers in MSG this year...

Allow Me to Rain on the Parade

2008-07-02T06:49:00.003-04:00

Mark Streit is 31 and had one good year with a high-scoring team. Expect his 60+ points to fall to around... 30+. Ach, at least it's something. More to come from Garth I'm sure.

Nice tribute to Bates. He was no All-Star, but he was one of the few who gave a shite consistently. There were some years that couldn't have been easy.

So here he is, your newest New York Islander (and yes, the only reason I put this clip here is to check out the hottie French Canadian announcer):

Oh, Cheers ...

2008-07-01T22:19:00.002-04:00

Mark Streit is a real, actual hockey player. Hey hey hey. Sure he has holes in his de... blah blah blah.

The Rangers signed Wade Redden for six years! Six years ago ... Wade Redden was good! Huzzah!

Look, if the Islanders are going to do a little pissing in the snow, it might as well be on a defenceman, even if he's the oh!ffensive type. Let the children backcheck for a few years ... .

Ok. I'm going to bed. Go Isles.