Producer of Greatest Video Hockey Game Ever that isn't NHL 94 is an Islanders guy

This explains a lot. Right now I am taking the Sound Tigers through the Calder Cup playoffs with Kyle Oh!poso and Tambellini leading the way. This game (played here on the XBox $399) gets better with the subtle tweaks included in the ongoing roster updates offered by EA (EA Canada to be specific, which seems to make a difference), and defies the long-standing EA tradition of churning out occasionally passable games with little or no "love" of the game contained within.

NHL 08 is a winner. And, now I ask your cooperation in keeping my wife away from this blog as I do not want to be cut off for the next 40 years.

Nerd on.

You call that a playoff beard?

I don't wanna get all Vogue on the blog, but what the hell is going on on Jaromir Jagr's face?



I'd only noticed the stupid-looking thing on his chin until Game 1's postgame interview, when I realized that it was merely the continuation of the Hitlerian theme started under his nose. That's just horrifying. If I were his teammate (probably not gonna happen, but you never know), I'd take him aside, knock him unconscious (after goading him into trying to throw a punch at me, resulting in him missing wildly and separating his shoulder), and shave whatever that is off for his own good. Or else, to paraphrase "Uncle" Buck Russell (a/k/a Moley Russell's wart), I'd give him a two-dollar Metrocard and tell him to go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off his face.

Had to share this one ...

Cheers.

yes, I believe this does it

This this this, and yes, this.

I can't even make fun of this, because I simply don't have the talent to write or do anything funnier than what this man does on his own.

Let's just say I will be thinking of this and smiling for a long time.

Paul Stewart is funny

Former Broome Duster Paul Stewart, who once fought the real Ogilthorpe (Goldie Goldthorpe) at a Christmas party, has uttered the defining Sean Avery line, "Sean Avery is like a case of jock rash. It's there, it bothers you, and eventually you have to just play through it."

You'll find it here, in The New Yorker, of all places.

Is It Too Much to Ask?

Look, I recognize that hockey is not the most popular sport in the world. I accept that if I want to see hockey highlights on Sportscenter in the regular season, I have to (a) wait until about two-thirds of the way into the show and (b) not flip, because they could come at any moment and be done in ten seconds (fill in sex-related joke here). I'm cool with that. Those are the rules.

But is it completely out of the realm of possibility for sportscasters to make some effort to learn how to pronounce the names of hockey players? Tonight, I was watching ESPN News and they ran this 30-second lead-in package recapping the Canadiens/Bruins series. That was nice of them to show some interest in the NHL playoffs, I thought. This should be a good recap of the first two periods. Of course, it ends up being just the goals, so I see Komisarek's goal, Mark Streit's ridiculous shaming of the Bruins' defense, and then a goal by someone called "Andrei KAH-stisen." Really? That's how you roll? Is Ka-STEET-zin really that hard to figure out? And it's not like Andrei and Sergei have been quiet this series. Probably should know that name by now, sport. Or at least come close.

Of course, such a scenario plays out what I have to assume is every night on some sportscast somewhere. It just doesn't seem like the sports departments want to put all that much effort into learning funny-sounding names. Which is why I would like to suggest that, as part of his efforts to get the NHL more exposure--and more good exposure--Gary Bettman should hire someone whose sole purpose is to go across the country and visit every working sportscaster in America. This person would sit down with the sportscaster and slowly go through some of the more difficult names in the NHL. It shouldn't take more than a half-hour of the sportscaster's time. And it will prevent millions of hockey fans from losing their minds when their favorite players' names are mangled in the 30 seconds per sportscast that hockey is mentioned.

For the record, I could make myself available for said job. And I could start immediately, since the Predators' defeat leaves me with precious little interest in watching hockey for the rest of the playoffs. Feel free to contact me c/o The Palm Isle.

MIDNIGHT UPDATE: ESPN News guy now goes with Ko-STEET-zin. Slight progress being made. Also made aware of this, which I guess no one reads. Still willing to enforce the guide in person, though. Call me.

Hot to Trotz

I don't know how you can root against a team coached by a man who looks like Barry Trotz. The mere sight of him brings me a sense of joy that carries me through the day.

Luckily, the Predators, who are what the Islanders could have been this year, are scrappy enough that they're likable even without Barry No-Neck. And after a few bad breaks and some sloppy play in the first two games in Detroit, the Preds came storming back in Game 3 with the most exciting nine seconds in Nashville since, well, since the last time something exciting happened in contemporary country music. Then they came out strong last night and held on for dear life for the bulk of the game to even the series at two apiece. And Vince Gill was there to see it all. I bet he let out a high-pitched whoop when the game ended.

I don't know if they'll be able to win the best-of-3 with Detroit, but at least they're putting up a helluva fight for a low seed (yeah, I'm looking at you, Ottawa). And it's fun to chant "Let's Go Predators," because, let's face it, in these Chris Hansen-loving times, we don't get a chance to cheer for predators enough.

Plus, it's always fun to root for the underdog. Cue Sly and the Family Stone's "Underdog" (the Dirtbombs' cover rejected because they're from Detroit).