Geno Malkin and the need for better thinking about hockey

First, a few AHL thoughts before I delve into the meat of this post.

Steve Downie, yay or nay?
The man is a terror, in some ways in the best sense. He is scoring points: eight in a nine-game stretch, which is a ++ for a guy labeled by scouts as a projected third-line agitator. And he is, of course, a pain in the ass. He thumbed Jason Blake in the eye and punched him while he was in the grasp of the referee. He fought Dave Clarkson of the Devils (video below), cut him (possibly with this visor), knocked out a tooth, and then, apparently, tried to rake his eye like an old-time wrestler.

Would you want him on your team? Would I want him on the Islanders? My impulse reaction: no. The grinder/fighter players I've enjoyed through the years have been the likes of Aaron Asham and similar players. We all have a tendency to overrate their value to their respective teams, but I always enjoyed the true middleweight fighting/checker. When Asham made Matt Barnaby cry, and I was in attendance, it was a highlight of my life as hockey fan. But (but but), am I (are we) being honest? Chris Simon comes to mind, and there's a decent argument to be made that Downie is far more valuable to the Flyers than Simon is to the Islanders (when either is allowed to play). I wasn't happy about the Hollwegg thing, but a lot of that unhappiness stemmed from not wanting the team to get the Goon label, not wanting to watch ESPN for the next 12 days, and not wanting anyone affiliated with the Rangers (or their fans) to have any reason to feel, even for a moment, self-righteous. When Simon stepped on Ruutu's big toe, I shook my head in agreement when The Mullet said Simon could have hurt him if he wanted to, and didn't, and laughed when Jaroslav sent an e-mail that said, "Chris Simon should not be taking time off to get his shit together. He should get a medal for stomping Ruutu."

We read enough, and hear enough from the hockey media about players "on the edge" when Simon or Downie find their way onto the news. And we hear a lot from pundits who share the opinion of Kelly "a message to you ... quit" Hrudey on HNIC's daily radio show: A league featuring a reserved spot for the true fighter is far preferable to a league loaded with pests such as Downie and Hrudey's personal boil, Sean Avery. Really? You'd rather have Eric Godard than Sean Avery -- Godard having membership in the 1 pt. club?

So Steve Downie, yay or nay? I'll stick with nay, because I think it's more than likely he'll either cripple someone or bite off a finger (shades of Hatcher?) before this is through. And don't forget, he's the kid who tried to brain someone in what I recently heard described as the "lawless Canadian Junior Leagues." But there's a part of me that knows were Downie to find his way to the island, I'd be telling the people I worked with that "no, this isn't worse than the Bert Toosery thing, he only cost this guy his hearing in his left ear, and the guy can still walk."

Anyway, that's hockey.

A few of Downie's finest (with the final word for Grapes):












The Reappearing Case of Geno Malkin, and dumb hockey thoughts
If msnbc is writing aboat Sidney Crosby, we've got cultural penetration. Let's all thank the weather gods for snow at the Winter Classic, and for thus bringing Crosby into the national light, and then, for thus resulting in expanded coverage of his injury.

Once the "when will he be back" story was comprehensively covered and speculated upon, the attention of the media was turned to a seemingly rejuvenated Evgeni Malkin who (you read it here first) was thrust back in a centreing role on the Penguins, and also thrust into the role of replacing Jesus. Ned Braden can sympathize. HNIC just-before-dark radio tackled the issue this week, with the needlessly employed Cassie Campbell dumbing things down for an audience learning too much from Jeff Marek. Each expressed some interest in Malkin's revival. And Cassie, because she is wrapped in the myopic culture of the Canadian hockey lockerroom, commented on Malkin's displays of "emotion" vs. the Caps (and also Ovechkin's, but he is coming close to being considered by the Canadians to be something other than of Russian origin), which were out of character for what she expects of her Russians, despite being born a year after the overrated, ultimately embarrassing Summit Series. We have reached a point, methinks, at which it is incomprehensibly stupid to characterize any of hockey's foreign players as possessing certain characteristics common to the group as whole, simply because there are too many foreign players, and they've been here too long.

A topic of greater interest might be Michel Therrien's continued mishandling of the Penguins. Is it a great surprise that Malkin can play? Is it a great surprise that a giant, nearly immovable centreman with finishing skills, passing skills, and some "edge," might ought to maybe possibly could be smart and good enough to play some centre? He doesn't need Crosby drawing defenders' attention away to shoot open goals. A player whose greatest strength is his short game, so to speak, should thrive with a combination of some decent-enough two-way winger and a floating finisher (or, as the journalist and general practitioner of hockey wisdom, Douglas Schneider, said today, "one of those table hockey guys who just spins in a circle waiting for the puck"). And, when Crosby is healthy, you have two lines that can score, and you don't need to spend 40 min. a night dressing up Jennifer Love Hewitt in Claude Julien's flannel pajamas (if her ass is too big for this country, I'll be an ex-pat by playoff time).

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe not. But it sure beats talking about how neat it is to see a Russian express human emotions.

More dumb thoughts: Bruce Boudreau called into the show. He's doing a helluva job in Washington, D.C. I considered taking the Caps on NHL 08 and trying to rejuvenate them for a Cup run, but I like Bruce Boudreau so much, I thought he'd do a good enough job in real life that my video efforts would somehow feel lacking. It was a good decision. Instead, I use the Wild and run two forecheckers all night, giving Jacques Lemaire heart pain he can't explain.

Ovechkin comes up in the HNIC conversation. Marek comments on the hit Ovechkin tried to lay on Malkin in Monday night's game (see below post for highlights), and asks Boudreau which part of Ovechkin's game is more valuable to the team, his scoring ability, or his physical play. Boudreau says, "they're about equal." End of conversation. Goddamn.

I've spent some time online researching what I would (and other people since 2004 or '05) call hockey's version of sabermetrics (for the uninitiated, or at least those who actually work whilst at work, sabermetrics is the statistical study of baseball performances, of which a watered-down version was heralded in Michael Lewis' Moneyball, is often credited to Bill James and his fantastic Baseball Abstracts, and is kept alive on hundreds of web sites, most notably Baseball Prospectus, and my personal favorite, firejoemorgan.com), and I've discovered two things, the latter of which is no surprise. The first is that statistical analysis of hockey performance is in its infancy. The second, which may help to explain the first, is something any hockey fan who studies other sports likely already knows: Hockey is such a fluid, chaotic, team-oriented, and ephemeral game, it is very difficult to create meaningful numeric structures to explain what is happening, or what has happened, on the ice.

(jeebus, as I write this, the effing Bs have gone up 4-0 on the Isles. Anything short of a Deb Kaufman pole dance at the intermission is going to send me to the Rangers game to root for the Thrashers. Lucic is a beast.)

But I know, even though I cannot yet find a statistical way of defending this or expressing it, that Ovechkin's superb ability to score goals, an ability very, very few people in the world possess, is far more valuable to the Washington Capitals than his ability to run into people, sort of like Steve Webb. Now, I don't expect Bruce Boudreau to come out and say this, because he probably understands there is marginal value to be gained from Ovechkin's physical play, especially if it is controlled enough it doesn't take away from his ability to score. So he, and thus the Caps, stands to gain from encouraging Ovechkin, and his teammates, to keep popping people. But why, oh why? doesn't Jeff Marek (who is, by far, one of the best hockey gabbers in the business) ask him what the hell he's talking about? Another example, not necessarily related but equally as soft, occurred during tonight's show when Marek asked an NHL goon (more on this later) if the new extension of the Vs. contract was exclusive, and if ESPN could elbow into the picture (a good question, one of high interest for me). The goon told Marek this wasn't the appropriate time to discuss the issue, it was a time to celebrate. Marek moved on.

Goddammit Jeff! I am a hockey fan, as are you, and that is a tremendously important question to those of us south of border. And you let him off the hook. I want to know. And, I want to know why Bettman's flak for the day said "the NHL have provided Vs. with great content, and they have given us a good product in return." (I would, and will, argue it is less than good, but that's a different fight.)

Ok. I will close on a positive note, keeping in mind the recent commitment of The Mediocre Among Us to do the same: I love the NHL Network. Thank you. "On the Fly" is the Anti-ESPN, and for that I offer congratulations, thank yous, and a promise to buy a new Islanders cap before the summer.

Good night. And I leave you on a happy note. Check out The Maven at the 1:49 mark.

Watching Hockey - TV for Jan. 18, 2007

First, forgive Jaroslav for his Caliendo worship. Our comrade watches only hockey (and only hockey), and doesn't realize most of America wanted to choke Caliendo close to death after the TBS MLB Playoffs debacle (which was so awful, poor Frank was answering questions from Artie Lange three weeks later on The Howard Stern Show about how he was "hated by America") during which the formerly-great network showed a "Frank TV" promo during every commercial break, and sometimes twice (to be clear though, I love Caliendo ... I'm a sucker for impressions, especially his "turreble" Barkley).

Anyway, back to hockey ... .

The NHL Network (thank you, Time Warner Binghamton) carried the Lightning-Pens ...
And I watched 35 seconds of the first period when I realized the Pens were half asleep and, possibly, thinking ahead to a trip to the Bell Centre in Montreal on Saturday. Our friends at HNIC radio (Marek and Morrison on a Friday -- thank you CBC, I can't handle Cassie or Kelly "a message to you ... quit" Hrudey on a Friday) told me all about The Sidney's lust for playing in front of Les Supporters des Habitants ... and then The Sidney sprained his ankle on an ugly slide into the boards.

Didn't see the play -- I was flipping back to the Notre Dame-Michigan college game -- but I saw The Sidney limping and Paul Ranger sitting in the box, and I figured George Laraque would be giving Ranger the Steve Downie at centre ice in two minutes, but nonesuch. Watching the replay, it didn't look like anything more than a soft X penalty, or holding, or tripping. Yeah, something.

The result: Pens fan get to watch the raw, adaptable genius of Michel Therrien without that pesky team leader getting in the way. After Crosby went down last night, Malkin looked like the only player on the Pens who wasn't ready to pack up for the night. He played how I imagine Olli Jokinen would play if he were still an Islander -- driving the net, splitting defenses, pestering on rebounds. Pick him up if he's a free agent in your hockey pool (just kidding Canadians! Even we Americans of wee hockey knowledge know the man isn't worth picking up without The Sidney feeding him sweet bounce passes).

Elsewhere in the hockey universe
Notre Dame played at Michigan. It was a thrilling 3-2 victory for the Wolverines, and I watched about 15 seconds. I tried. And I continue to try. We picked up college hockey games Friday and Saturday nights on the $2 sports tier that gave us the NHL Network, so I've been trying to slog through Minnesota/Minnesota-Duluth matchups and the occasional Denver v. Somebody game, but I just can't do it for some reason. Even Cornell makes fairly regular appearances on TW's local sports feed, but the cameras at these games are a close rival to Slingbox on the Mac (anything past 4 in. and you're watching Atari Sprites and digital lag), and really, as much as I love hockey, I don't know who these guys are, and I know they're not going to fight. I'll keep trying. The Reverend grew up with AHL hockey in the slummy, hockey-gorgeous Broome County Veterans Memorial Arena, where the three-curse, four-beer minimum is still enforced, so the gentrified climes of the collegiate game are still growing on me. I will continue to try. See this for further discussion.

Buffalo scores 10, Rick Jeanerette's heart lives through it
Didn't see any of this game because I forgot it was on. Did switch over in time to see the refs sorting out some kind of mess in the third period, with the score 9-1 ... the Thrashers wound up two men down. Jeanerette, with the camera focused on Don Waddell, said something to the effect, "maybe it's time to throw up the white flag." If Jeanerette thinks a visiting team is getting screwed, the team is getting screwed. Many times over. The Sabres scored again. Derek Roy had a hat trick. Jason Campbell is still overrated.

Flip Station
I watched A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints in commercial breaks, and committed myself when I realized there weren't gonna be no more fights in the Sabres game. Not bad. Robert Downey Jr. is getting better as he gets older. He's growing out of that "I'd agree to do The Shaggy Dog for a half a rock of crack" stage and getting a little more weathered and more subtle with the "I'm manic! Manic and brilliant!" thing. He was pretty damn good in Zodiac.

Saints had every guido's favorite father, Chaz Palminteri, and Shia LaBeouf. Both were serviceable. Downey Jr. was excellent until the closing scenes, which were written by a man wearing hams on his hands. Rosario Dawson was awful. The assholes who put the stars on the digital movie guide gave it ***. I'd give **1/2. And you don't care.

Go forth and forecheck.

B's-Lafs, state of the game, HNIC radio

OK, on with the blah-ging. (But first, let me point out that the Bruins are represented first on this majority Islander blog.)

B's vs. Leafs, Jan. 18

Good game for the B's last night, although they lost in the SO. They played pretty well. Infuriatingly well. They had the Lafs on their heels for a while. They just could not put it away. A few posts there in the third. Some other missed opportunities. They just couldn't do it. (Is Toskala's fantasy value rising? Six goals allowed in his last two games, both victories.)

Now here's something you don't see every game – Marc Savard tapped Toskala's pads once (after his miss in the shootout), maybe twice (did he do it at the end of regulation or was that Sturm?). That's one thing about hockey that is different from other sports such as, say, foosball, er, football (check the post above for more about football). Why don't hockey players do that more often? The simple answer is probably that the game is too fast for bullshit sportsmanlike gestures like that. If you check a guy into the boards, you're not going to stop and help him up. Unless you really flattened him and he's hurt. You might stop and try to lend a hand. But not if you're a Flyer.

I'm not pointing the finger specifically at Savard and this isn't to say there is a lack of sportsmanship in hockey. We have our glittering Lady Byng trophy, after all, and her boyfriends Sakic, Datsyuk and Kariya. And, of course, how could anyone forget the display of camaraderie Don Cherry showed several times last season of the two players with their arms around each other while watching a fight. Beautiful. Hockey is just different that way. We have our own ways of complimenting each other. And if you're Ian Laperriere, that includes a kiss on the cheek (hey, the guy is French).

But we hear a lot lately about how players don't respect each other anymore. There's too much at stake. Finish your check at all costs. It doesn't matter if you might end a guy's career. You have to look out for yourself. Look out for number one. It's cutthroat. That's just the way the world is today.

I'm inclined to agree with some old-schoolers or traditionalists who would say the league has taken away the game's ability to police itself -- the players' ability to police themselves. It's a simple argument that makes sense. Players are not held accountable like they used to be.

There was a great discussion on HNIC radio about this and Cassie Campbell (believe it or not) and Jeff Marek were discussing what the league wants. Does it want a bunch of Jarkko Ruutus and Jordin Tootoos running around – the pests, who know they can get under the skin of their opponents and probably not have to answer for it – or does it want more Laraques, Boogards, etc., who call those types of guys on the carpet and take them to task. I'd have to go with the latter. Ultimately, which one would be better for the game?

Hello out there

Speaking of HNIC radio, that brings me to my next topic. Something I feel I need to do – because if I don't do it, no one else will — is post an ongoing list of host Jeff Marek's one-liners, insights and witticisms (hey, the guy is entertaining). So here we go. Today's Marekisms:

— On the Rob Ramage sentencing: "When hockey players get together … beers will be consumed. … Any more tins in the cooler?"

— On Andrew Ference's fight with hockey's Golden Boy, Sidney Crosby: Ference "is no pacifist" and he doesn't mind "passing the fists." (This was a hilarious interview. I looked for an archived copy of the show but no dice. Ference talks about getting a call the day after from his sister, who is a teacher. Her students kept telling her the day after the fight that her brother got beat up by Sidney Crosby. Which leads me off on another tangent – Ference is the NHLPA's rep for environmental issues? And he also is involved in the Right to Play organization – which is great charity work and all, but bringing hockey to kids in Africa? Tell me that's not what he was doing on that episode of the "Rubber Biscuit" with your host Rob Simpson on NESN. Terrible show, by the way. How many people really want to watch Glen Murray working out?)

— "The name's Tucker not Sucker." (Darcy Tucker?)

— "I was born at night but not last night." (boo)

We continue with the Marek glossary:

— Canadian Gatorade = beer
— barley sandwich = beer
— grape juice = beer
— Diet Coke = beer

So obviously, Marek gets my seal of approval. But let's take a look at some of the other voices on HNIC radio.

Kelly Hrudey — Career stats from hockeydb.com: 367-361-97, 3.67 GAA, 0.845 SP. Complete douche bag. What's going on there beneath the surface, or should I say "behind the mask" of Rudy? Not much. Some geese flying by, tumbleweeds, maybe a light bulb short-circuiting. This guy is an insufferable bore. Holy crap. From his struggles with his Latvian or Slovak or whatever ethnicity growing up, to his powder blue bandana hanging out of his helmet during his playing days, to his career as a "broadcaster," he must have some seriously damaging dirt on someone to be allowed to continue. How and why would CBC ever offer him a job? Disturbing.

Cassie Campbell — Oh boy. Nice to see a woman in the job. Interesting to hear her take and perspective on things – sometimes – but she's mostly dead weight/air. Usually when I think of Cass, my thoughts turn to love. (Is she married?) Hey Cass, it's business time.

Elliot Freedman — Not bad. I can deal. But I can see his makeup through the radio. You don't need to wear that much blush Elliot.

Scott Morrison — Ditto, sans the rosy cheeks.

Ron Maclean — That's more like it. He's the man. What can you say.