I thought this was worth it. Avery finally decides to fight Hartnell WITHOUT jumping him from behind. This was awesome. Short, but sweet.
Oh, and the Isles won. Was a good night.
I don't know what happened to the other bums that write for this blog but they'll be back. I think.
Showing posts with label sean avery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sean avery. Show all posts
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
NO! NO! NO!
I know the Rangers are going to trade for him and the Islanders would never touch him, but I have to respond to this.
Why is it so hard for people to understand the importance of rebuilding? I don't get it. Anyway, yes, I did update the picture.
Why is it so hard for people to understand the importance of rebuilding? I don't get it. Anyway, yes, I did update the picture.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Exhibit A: I Fucking Give Up
So, The New York Daily News royally Got Wrong the Sean Avery story yesterday. When I first read the update, like many people, I really thought he might be on his way to Dead. I even considered posting a sort of "please keep our previous juvenile ridiculing of Mr. Avery in context considering the events of this morning" message. Turns out he hurt his spleen and will be A-Ok, at least by next season.
Whoops. Time to apologize. Or, if you're a newspaper and don't understand how the previous standards governing your business might apply to the newish, but not no much so, Internet, you could just pretend you didn't do a fucking thing wrong. Like the TV stations you (me) made fun of for decades.
In the wake of the paper's wrong web reporting and subsequent lack of recognition of that wrongness, they were rightfully criticized by other media outlets, and even a few bloggers (full of shit as they all, unequivocally, undeniably, without variation, are).
The response? This piece of shit, which includes this piece of shit:
Point missed, then distorted, then shat on.
Here: If you get an unnamed source telling you a hockey player might be close to death, get that verified by a real person who can give their name before you post it on the web. If he is dead, they will tell you at some point. Stake out the hospital, be the first there, whatever.
That's it. Simple Simon. Simon simple. Simple simple. Don't rush.
Of course, do you think having this "exclusive" might have helped web hits (revenue) for a day or so?
Messy.
Update, 2:04 p.m.
Upon reading this again, I noticed this line: "Fortunately, the intrepid men an (sic) women of the press who have exposed baseball’s steroid problems didn’t similarly regurgitate what they were told by people who understandably want their businesses viewed as beyond reproach."
If anyone deserves a big Thumbs Up for their role in the exposing of baseball's steroid problem, it certainly must not ever be the guys who spent 14 years in the dressing rooms of the MLB, watching, at one point, as Mark McGwire fondled a fucking bottle of something steroidish, and din't do a goddamned thing. I can't even get sarcastic about this. Good lord.
Whoops. Time to apologize. Or, if you're a newspaper and don't understand how the previous standards governing your business might apply to the newish, but not no much so, Internet, you could just pretend you didn't do a fucking thing wrong. Like the TV stations you (me) made fun of for decades.
In the wake of the paper's wrong web reporting and subsequent lack of recognition of that wrongness, they were rightfully criticized by other media outlets, and even a few bloggers (full of shit as they all, unequivocally, undeniably, without variation, are).
The response? This piece of shit, which includes this piece of shit:
"Finally, for all those from other media outlets and newspapers who have sarcastically dismissed our initial web story about Sean Avery’s hospitalization since the Rangers refuted it Wednesday afternoon, I wonder:
Was your initial reaction that the story couldn’t have been correct or did you simply race up to the MSG Training Center to get player reaction? And, did you call the hospital and/or Avery’s representatives to get the real story or did your “reporting” simply consist of taking the team’s word for what happened?
Fortunately, the intrepid men an women of the press who have exposed baseball’s steroid problems didn’t similarly regurgitate what they were told by people who understandably want their businesses viewed as beyond reproach."
What? I think he's saying, "we got it wrong because we do actual, real reporting instead of taking the team's word for it, because they lie, the motherfuckers. And you got it right because you're lazy and waited until some kind of source that would be named gave you a comment."Point missed, then distorted, then shat on.
Here: If you get an unnamed source telling you a hockey player might be close to death, get that verified by a real person who can give their name before you post it on the web. If he is dead, they will tell you at some point. Stake out the hospital, be the first there, whatever.
That's it. Simple Simon. Simon simple. Simple simple. Don't rush.
Of course, do you think having this "exclusive" might have helped web hits (revenue) for a day or so?
Messy.
Update, 2:04 p.m.
Upon reading this again, I noticed this line: "Fortunately, the intrepid men an (sic) women of the press who have exposed baseball’s steroid problems didn’t similarly regurgitate what they were told by people who understandably want their businesses viewed as beyond reproach."
If anyone deserves a big Thumbs Up for their role in the exposing of baseball's steroid problem, it certainly must not ever be the guys who spent 14 years in the dressing rooms of the MLB, watching, at one point, as Mark McGwire fondled a fucking bottle of something steroidish, and din't do a goddamned thing. I can't even get sarcastic about this. Good lord.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
yes, I believe this does it
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Paul Stewart is funny
Former Broome Duster Paul Stewart, who once fought the real Ogilthorpe (Goldie Goldthorpe) at a Christmas party, has uttered the defining Sean Avery line, "Sean Avery is like a case of jock rash. It's there, it bothers you, and eventually you have to just play through it."
You'll find it here, in The New Yorker, of all places.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A crisis in hockey writing (with bonus: "Dave Maloney is an idiot")
(see amendments to the bottom of the post, 5:57 p.m.)
The ongoing disaster and oh!ffence to the game that is Larry Brooks.
Typically, I am the first to jump on the Canadian media for vilifying what it views as non-traditional markets and dumb American fans (a true fan of the Nashville Predators has to overcome many more obstacles to his fanhood than a Maple Leafs fan living in Hogtown -- a point easily lost on most of the Canadian media), but the reaction this week to the "Avery Clarification" has been overwhelmingly dumb in the States, and remarkably measured and smart in Canada. And this outburst of terrible writing has driven me to do something I'd rather not -- support Gary Bettman, which I found myself doing for a flicker last night during the Wild/Avs game.
Dear Larry Brooks, stop arguing the NHL "changed" the rule or wrote a new rule because of Sean Avery's little goal-crease dance. In a rare moment of clarity and responsiveness, the league clarified an existing rule -- unsportsmanlike conduct -- to include instances such as this, which had never come up before because Sean Avery is the perfect storm of douchebaggery and defies previously held human expectations.
There is no new rule. And, the oh!fficials in the game warned Avery in the act and told him they would call unsportsmanlike if he proceeded. The league simply backed them up post hoc. Even the oh!fficials were right! It's Christmas in hockeyland!
The same writers would have bitched about the league's inactivity and lack of responsiveness if this was ignored.
Sports journalism is a waste.
Another tired argument: This one I saw from Jim Kelley yesterday. He argues you can't call Avery's mime dance a "mockery" in a league allowing face washes, hits on the boards, and various other minor acts of violence throughout the playoffs. Oh, and he remembered to bring up the boot-stomping incidents, which, if I recall, led to significant suspensions for the oh!ffending players. The people who cry when Sean Avery gets the hose because he has a history of being an asshole are the same people who said Chris Simon should be put out on the ice floe because he is a repeat oh!ffender. Well, Sean Avery is a repeat asshole, hence the attention.
Kelley may actually have a good point, but he's not smart enough to know it, and masks it by trying to defend Avery's actions with the "if the league lets everybody do dumb things, they can't single out this dumb thing " argument.
Wrong. That's exactly what leagues (all sporting leagues) and officials are charged with accomplishing. Saying "I agree with Sean Avery because I disagree with Chris Neil" is incongruous and wrong. You deal with these on a case-by-case basis, because they are different actions. I can say, "I think Chris Neil shouldn't be penalized for punching players in the back of the head because I think a moderate level of violence is acceptable in an intense, physical environment, although I think the officials should warn him should he do it more than once; I also think they should take into consideration how hard he punches the player." And that's assuming the officials see him do it, which Kelley doesn't address! Similarly, I can say, "I think Chris Neil should be penalized for throwing a flying elbow at someone's head, as well as I think Dion Phaneuf should have been penalized for head-ramming Patrick Marleau the other night -- because these plays are far more inherently dangerous than face washes and rabbit punches to the back of helmets."
Also, bringing up the Roger Neilson and Hasek incidents is pointless, because the Hasek thing became a rule, and resulted in a near-equal amount of criticism to Hasek at the time. Or, at least consternation. Hasek isn't a petulant asshole, so people didn't accuse him of "mockery," but your history as a player and a person is an integral part of how you are perceived and how you will be dealt with in the working environment. To assume otherwise is baiting the reader.
So, I will say, with that cleared up, "Sean Avery's actions in front of Martin Brodeur constitute unsportsmanslike conduct and are not consistent with the spirit of competition. And because he consistently shows himself to be an asshole, someone big should punch him in the face." That is reasonable. So is calling it a mockery, because he was dancing around like a three-year-old asking for mommy's attention. I've seen it. I know it.
Go Devils.
Amended at 1:19 p.m.
Why I don't write about hockey professionally, Exhibit E
John Buccigross nails it. Much shorter, too.
"New Jersey vs. New York Rangers
What stands out in this series is Sean Avery's bizarre "Dancing With The Stars" routine with Martin Brodeur in Game 3. There is a term for him -- clown. That kind of stuff, coupled with the detached demeanor Avery seems to have toward the rest of the team's battles, has the potential to drain the Rangers. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, and maybe his teammates are largely ignoring him, but playoff hockey is difficult enough without having to try to manage some out-of-control, fall-out frat boy. It's even worse when he drags Brodeur into his sideshow. He's the Terrell Owens of the NHL, polluting the Rangers with his individuality. Can you imagine what Scott Stevens would have done had he seen Avery waving his stick like a giant windshield wiper in Brodeur's face? That also is partially an indictment of the contsruction of the Devils' roster."
Another amendment, 5:57 p.m.
Dave Maloney is an idiot. He was on HNIC radio using Kelley's "Roger Neilson was considered a genius when he 'tested the limits'" argument.
Yes, he was. Because people did not universally hate Roger Neilson. He was, at times, a creative, sly, and entertaining individual who devised some clever, funny (the flag on the stick), and memorable methods that created some pleasant and memorable memories for hockey fans. Sean Avery says things about players' families and acts like a jerkoff every time he is on the ice. He dives, whines, cries, and wears emo douche clothing. Roger Neilson didn't do these things. He coached hockey, revolutionized advanced scouting, and wore crazy ties.
Comparing Roger Neilson to Sean Avery is stupid. Dave Maloney is stupid. The Rangers suck.
The ongoing disaster and oh!ffence to the game that is Larry Brooks.
Typically, I am the first to jump on the Canadian media for vilifying what it views as non-traditional markets and dumb American fans (a true fan of the Nashville Predators has to overcome many more obstacles to his fanhood than a Maple Leafs fan living in Hogtown -- a point easily lost on most of the Canadian media), but the reaction this week to the "Avery Clarification" has been overwhelmingly dumb in the States, and remarkably measured and smart in Canada. And this outburst of terrible writing has driven me to do something I'd rather not -- support Gary Bettman, which I found myself doing for a flicker last night during the Wild/Avs game.
Dear Larry Brooks, stop arguing the NHL "changed" the rule or wrote a new rule because of Sean Avery's little goal-crease dance. In a rare moment of clarity and responsiveness, the league clarified an existing rule -- unsportsmanlike conduct -- to include instances such as this, which had never come up before because Sean Avery is the perfect storm of douchebaggery and defies previously held human expectations.
There is no new rule. And, the oh!fficials in the game warned Avery in the act and told him they would call unsportsmanlike if he proceeded. The league simply backed them up post hoc. Even the oh!fficials were right! It's Christmas in hockeyland!
The same writers would have bitched about the league's inactivity and lack of responsiveness if this was ignored.
Sports journalism is a waste.
Another tired argument: This one I saw from Jim Kelley yesterday. He argues you can't call Avery's mime dance a "mockery" in a league allowing face washes, hits on the boards, and various other minor acts of violence throughout the playoffs. Oh, and he remembered to bring up the boot-stomping incidents, which, if I recall, led to significant suspensions for the oh!ffending players. The people who cry when Sean Avery gets the hose because he has a history of being an asshole are the same people who said Chris Simon should be put out on the ice floe because he is a repeat oh!ffender. Well, Sean Avery is a repeat asshole, hence the attention.
Kelley may actually have a good point, but he's not smart enough to know it, and masks it by trying to defend Avery's actions with the "if the league lets everybody do dumb things, they can't single out this dumb thing " argument.
Wrong. That's exactly what leagues (all sporting leagues) and officials are charged with accomplishing. Saying "I agree with Sean Avery because I disagree with Chris Neil" is incongruous and wrong. You deal with these on a case-by-case basis, because they are different actions. I can say, "I think Chris Neil shouldn't be penalized for punching players in the back of the head because I think a moderate level of violence is acceptable in an intense, physical environment, although I think the officials should warn him should he do it more than once; I also think they should take into consideration how hard he punches the player." And that's assuming the officials see him do it, which Kelley doesn't address! Similarly, I can say, "I think Chris Neil should be penalized for throwing a flying elbow at someone's head, as well as I think Dion Phaneuf should have been penalized for head-ramming Patrick Marleau the other night -- because these plays are far more inherently dangerous than face washes and rabbit punches to the back of helmets."
Also, bringing up the Roger Neilson and Hasek incidents is pointless, because the Hasek thing became a rule, and resulted in a near-equal amount of criticism to Hasek at the time. Or, at least consternation. Hasek isn't a petulant asshole, so people didn't accuse him of "mockery," but your history as a player and a person is an integral part of how you are perceived and how you will be dealt with in the working environment. To assume otherwise is baiting the reader.
So, I will say, with that cleared up, "Sean Avery's actions in front of Martin Brodeur constitute unsportsmanslike conduct and are not consistent with the spirit of competition. And because he consistently shows himself to be an asshole, someone big should punch him in the face." That is reasonable. So is calling it a mockery, because he was dancing around like a three-year-old asking for mommy's attention. I've seen it. I know it.
Go Devils.
Amended at 1:19 p.m.
Why I don't write about hockey professionally, Exhibit E
John Buccigross nails it. Much shorter, too.
"New Jersey vs. New York Rangers
What stands out in this series is Sean Avery's bizarre "Dancing With The Stars" routine with Martin Brodeur in Game 3. There is a term for him -- clown. That kind of stuff, coupled with the detached demeanor Avery seems to have toward the rest of the team's battles, has the potential to drain the Rangers. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, and maybe his teammates are largely ignoring him, but playoff hockey is difficult enough without having to try to manage some out-of-control, fall-out frat boy. It's even worse when he drags Brodeur into his sideshow. He's the Terrell Owens of the NHL, polluting the Rangers with his individuality. Can you imagine what Scott Stevens would have done had he seen Avery waving his stick like a giant windshield wiper in Brodeur's face? That also is partially an indictment of the contsruction of the Devils' roster."
Another amendment, 5:57 p.m.
Dave Maloney is an idiot. He was on HNIC radio using Kelley's "Roger Neilson was considered a genius when he 'tested the limits'" argument.
Yes, he was. Because people did not universally hate Roger Neilson. He was, at times, a creative, sly, and entertaining individual who devised some clever, funny (the flag on the stick), and memorable methods that created some pleasant and memorable memories for hockey fans. Sean Avery says things about players' families and acts like a jerkoff every time he is on the ice. He dives, whines, cries, and wears emo douche clothing. Roger Neilson didn't do these things. He coached hockey, revolutionized advanced scouting, and wore crazy ties.
Comparing Roger Neilson to Sean Avery is stupid. Dave Maloney is stupid. The Rangers suck.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A Fan of "The Palm Isle" Writes
Actually, my sister's boyfriend emailed me about hockey. Almost the same thing. Anyway, not a lot to write about so I figured I'd post his email:
I thought I couldn't hate Sean Avery any more than I already did.....and then this playoff series with the Devils started. As if it's not bad enough that he has 3 goals in the series already (including the one he just scored), Vs just showed the tactics he uses to screen Brodeur. He stands in front of the goal FACING Brodeur, not watching the play at all and just waves his stick in the air and in Brodeur's face (which I didn't even think was legal, I just thought you could stand in front of the goalie). If I was Brodeur, I would have taken my stick between Avery's legs and given him a nice uppercut a long time ago....
On the flip side, I am sure you haven't gotten to see much of the Boston/Montreal series, but since it's local, I have gotten to see almost every minute. It has been one of the hardest hitting series I have ever watched. And I knew these teams hated each other, but I didn't know it was to this effect. Of course, the fact that Montreal is 10-0 in the season series so far causes a lot of Boston desperation that adds to it. I also have heard as many homer-type comments as I have from the Boston announcing team. It's also great watching tonight's game - which is in Boston - and hear the Canadiens' fans singing completely drown out the home crown. They booed Chara every time he touched the puck in Montreal, and they are so loud that you can clearly hear him being booed by Montreal fans in his own building. Good stuff.
I've also decided that I am rooting for the Caps out of the East - there are very few things that are as exciting to watch as an Ovechkin goal, especially in the playoffs. I would love to watch an Ovechkin/Malkin showdown in the 2nd round (plus, that would mean that Washington would have eliminated Philly, which is never a bad thing).
That is all from hockey central. Until next time,
J Digga
Thursday, April 3, 2008
I Needed to See Sean Avery Get Punched.
So I went onto Youtube and this made me laugh instead.
Anyway, I can't be to depressed about the B squad losing. In all honesty, it was nice to see a few creative plays out there. The kids are a little more fun to watch, if not as good, as their major league counterparts.
The Howie and Billy Flirt of the Game
I'd like to first open this to sponsorship as next season I hope to make this a regular installment on the blog. Tonight's bit of flirty dialogue came as the culmination of banter involving the league MVP. Billy, who thought it should be Ovechkin, was relentless in his teasing of Howie for not agreeing. These juicy lines came in the third period after hearing that Ovechkin had scored "again".
Billy: (In a high, whiny voice) "You're going to change you vote!"
Howie: "I can be bought..."
This was no doubt followed by off-camera winking, smiles and slapping each other. Again, any sponsors should please contact the Rev. Zamboni.
Anyway, I can't be to depressed about the B squad losing. In all honesty, it was nice to see a few creative plays out there. The kids are a little more fun to watch, if not as good, as their major league counterparts.
The Howie and Billy Flirt of the Game
I'd like to first open this to sponsorship as next season I hope to make this a regular installment on the blog. Tonight's bit of flirty dialogue came as the culmination of banter involving the league MVP. Billy, who thought it should be Ovechkin, was relentless in his teasing of Howie for not agreeing. These juicy lines came in the third period after hearing that Ovechkin had scored "again".
Billy: (In a high, whiny voice) "You're going to change you vote!"
Howie: "I can be bought..."
This was no doubt followed by off-camera winking, smiles and slapping each other. Again, any sponsors should please contact the Rev. Zamboni.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
More Lemonade
Sometimes when things are at their darkest, God gives you some light.
I don't care if it isn't true. I just hope that Isles fans who will be at the Coliseum for the Rangers' last visit of the season are now crafting their chants. Not since "Crackhead Theo" have we been given such a gift.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Trying To Make Lemonade
At this point, it's tough to even fake interest in the season, but every once in a while, something nice and sweet comes along that makes you remember how much you still love hockey. Or hate the Rangers. For me, that was this picture:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)