Monday, April 28, 2008

You call that a playoff beard?

I don't wanna get all Vogue on the blog, but what the hell is going on on Jaromir Jagr's face?

I'd only noticed the stupid-looking thing on his chin until Game 1's postgame interview, when I realized that it was merely the continuation of the Hitlerian theme started under his nose. That's just horrifying. If I were his teammate (probably not gonna happen, but you never know), I'd take him aside, knock him unconscious (after goading him into trying to throw a punch at me, resulting in him missing wildly and separating his shoulder), and shave whatever that is off for his own good. Or else, to paraphrase "Uncle" Buck Russell (a/k/a Moley Russell's wart), I'd give him a two-dollar Metrocard and tell him to go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off his face.

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