Bruins 2, Habs 8
Jesus fucking christ. This was one of those games. One of those gin-soaked, yell at the wife, kick the dog and regret it the next morning games. Where to Steve Begin on this one?
1. Alex Auld. Alex, when warm-ups are over, that’s when the game begins. Your job is to stop pucks, not let them in. That first goal, you bit harder than a Civil War soldier with gangrene getting a leg amputated. You bit harder than Seabiscuit groaning under the weight of Spiderman’s fat ass. You bit harder than the American public’s belief that there really were WMD’s. You bit harder than …
2. It’s 2-0. You’re down one in the first 14 seconds, two in the first 5 minutes, on like four shots. Where was the fight? No one is dropping the mits? Where was Reich? Where was Lucic? Where was Chara? Where's Shawn Thornton when you need him? What the fuck is wrong with you guys? What happened to wanting to be a difficult team to play against? You guys wait until the third period to dance? It was 6-1 by then. Pathetic.
3. Claude Julien. The prodigal Frenchman. Does he have some sort of inferiority complex going into Montreal? Losers of six straight vs the goddamn Habs. That’s a mental thing. It’s a pride thing. It’s the whole Boston sports consciousness thing. The whole archrival, nemesis who always beats us thing. If you want to beat the Habs, B’s, you have to ask yourselves: What better time than now? What better place than here? That’s the attitude. Right here, right now. It’s not, wow, would you look at that Kovalev stickhandle. I hear he flies planes too. You know, Montreal is just like a European city only in North America. Don’t get too close to Koivu; you might catch the cancer. They all ought to have shock therapy after the game.
4. Darryl Reaugh. A cornucopia of food metaphors. “Juicy, succulent rebounds.”
5. The boards. When a puck hit the kickplate, were Habs fans kicking from the other side to make the puck bounce off harder? The Bell Centre has some of the liveliest boards in the league.
6. Versus cameraman. The game is hockey dude. Not tennis. Stop acting like a spaz with the f’ing camera. You’re giving me a headache.
7. Shane Hnidy. Minus fucking 4. Hnidy night.
My AP RSS feed had him as one of the Top Stories for a while. Big story.